The Church Mouse Thrift Shop of The Sparta United Methodist Church

06/16/2026

Step aside, haute couture—Wednesday marks the launch of our Father’s Day/Men's Department Sale. Come browse a rare collection of garments currently straddling the fine line between "museum-worthy vintage" and "found behind a lawnmower." A massive shout-out to our models for volunteering by donning oversized men's apparel to prove that confidence is the only difference between fashion and a cry for help.

06/15/2026

Upcoming sale from June 17-20 50% off Father’s Day gifts and the Men’s Department!

CITIZENS OF EARTH: THE LAWS OF PHYSICS HAVE COLLAPSED!

Hold onto your shoes, because they are about to be blasted clean into low Earth orbit. And if they incinerate upon re-entry? Fear not. We literally sell footwear. We will re-clothe your naked feet for a nominal fee. We’ve thought of everything.

The Church Mouse has completely abandoned all financial logic, the math is no longer mathing, and we are launching an extravaganza so absurdly chaotic that future historians will write textbooks about it—or more likely, a guy named Chad who wears toe-shoes will write a deeply analytical 4,000-word blog post about it on Reddit. It will go viral.

Behold, the glorious madness that awaits your mortal eyes:

PHASE 1: Father’s Day Mayhem (From Wed. June 17 until Sat. June 20)

Father’s Day is looming. You could get him a generic hug, OR you could drape him in the ultimate symbol of masculine power, corporate dominance, and raw backyard authority: A TIE FROM THE CHURCH MOUSE!

⚠️ WARNING: Do not look directly at the ties without protective eyewear! Looking upon our stripes, paisleys, and solids with the naked eye may cause:

~Sudden, spontaneous mustache growth.
~The instant development of a signature "hands-on-hips" stance while staring blankly at a highway map.
~A sudden proficiency in parallel parking large machinery.
~An overwhelming desire to check the oil in a car you don't own.

Our Men’s Department has secured a cache of neck-linens so breathtaking they defy the very laws of haberdashery. To loop one of these silken banners of victory around your collar is to instantly acquire the aura of a 19th-century industrial tycoon who owns three railroads and a steamship line.

The Raw Power: Putting on a Church Mouse tie immediately bestows the wearer with the authority to dismiss a boardroom with a subtle nod, and fiercely debate the global market value of mint-condition 1990s Beanie Babies.

The Supreme Craftsmanship: Woven with the precision of a Swiss watchmaker and the sheer, unbridled passion of a Renaissance master.

The Visual Splendor: We possess patterns that will hypnotize your rivals and solids that will strike awe into the hearts of your H.O.A.

THE UPPER TORSO ARMOR (Shirts & Tops)

The "I’m Off the Clock" Polos: Infused with the collective spirits of a thousand suburban golf courses. Putting one on instantly grants the wearer a +5 bonus to backyard grilling and the innate ability to correctly estimate the weight of a propane tank just by lifting it.

The High-Stakes Button-Downs: Crisp, authoritative, and structured. Perfect for looking like a high-powered 1980s stockbroker who is about to make a very aggressive corporate merger, or a man who is attending a slightly upscale casual Friday.

The Graphically Superior T-Shirts: Featuring vintage classic rock bands he’s only heard two songs by, sarcastic slogans about fishing, and logos of defunct hardware stores from the late 90s.

The "It’s Getting Brisk" Flannels: For the man who wants to look like he spends his weekends felling mighty redwoods in the Pacific Northwest, even if the closest he actually gets to nature is clearing leaves out of the gutter with a leaf blower.

The Aggressively Comfortable Hoodies: Stolen from the depths of time. Broken-in to absolute structural perfection. Wearing one is like being hugged by a giant, benevolent golden retriever.

THE LOWER HEMISPHERE DEFENSES (Pants & Shorts)

The Tactical Cargo Shorts: Boasting enough pockets to successfully smuggle a small family of possums across state lines. Engineered for the man who needs immediate, high-speed access to a tape measure, three loose drywall screws, a half-eaten granola bar, and his reading glasses.

The Trousers of Total Triumph (Chinos/Slacks): Pants designed for serious maneuvers—like pacing the sidelines of a youth soccer game while loudly questioning the referee’s vision, or sitting comfortably through a two-hour budget meeting.

The Indestructible Blue Jeans: Woven from denim so stubborn it rejects the very concept of wear and tear. These jeans do not adapt to the man; the man must adapt to the jeans.

Dad Armor and its Fuzzy Underlayer (Jackets, Suits, & Sweaters)
The Boardroom Blazers: Instantly transforms any civilian into a man who looks like he owns a yacht, or at the very least, a man who knows a guy named "Skip" who owns a yacht.

The Weather-Defying Windbreakers: Made of that specific, highly acoustic nylon that lets the entire neighborhood know he is approaching via a rhythmic swish-swish sound. Impervious to light drizzle and minor gale-force winds.

The Grandmaster Cardigans & Sweaters: Ranging from "Sophisticated College Professor who solves small-town murders on the weekend" to "Uncle who fell asleep on the couch before the Thanksgiving turkey was even carved."

THE FOUNDATIONAL INFRASTRUCTURE (Lounge & Sleepwear)

The Sleep-Conquering Lounge Pants: Plaid flannel pants featuring waistband elastic that has surrendered to gravity. Strictly engineered for watching Sunday football while completely horizontal.

PHASE 2: THE WHEELCHAIR RAMP OF UNCHECKED GENEROSITY

You thought 50% off was crazy? Hold my coffee.

STARTING FRIDAYS, JUNE 19: The Church Mouse is bringing you "Freebie Fridays" all through June, July, and August! (Basically, every sunny Friday all summer long!)

We are unleashing FREEBIE FRIDAYS and dragging giant bins of 100% FREE MERCHANDISE to the absolute summit of the wheelchair ramp near the back parking lot. It is a treasure mountain. A buffet of zero-dollar glory. It is open to everyone—nobles, commoners, and actual church mice.

THE HIGH-STAKES CAVEAT: The ramp is STRICTLY WEATHER PERMITTING. If the sky so much as clears its throat, the bins will vanish back into the shadows. We need you to assemble your local drum circles, perform your finest anti-rain jazz hand rituals, and aggressively persuade the clouds into staying on their side of the county.

RECAP: THE TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read)

Wed. June 17–Sat. 20: 50% off Dad Gifts & men's clothing that could overthrow a small empire.

Friday, June 19: Free stuff on the ramp kicks off for the summer (every Friday, weather permitting).

Get yourself to The Church Mouse by any means necessary!

~OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: Everything on this page is subject to human error, autocorrect sabotage, and our general state of whimsy. We are not responsible for misprints or misunderstandings, especially since our in-house comedic writer is frequently operating on high hopes and low amounts of sleep. If a post seems too good to be true, it’s probably a typo. Or a miracle. But mostly a typo. Please shop—and read—accordingly. Any resemblance between our descriptions and actual reality is purely coincidental.

THRIFT SHOP HOURS:
Wednesdays, 10am to 2pm
Thursdays, 1pm to 4pm
Fridays, 1pm to 4pm
Saturdays, 10am to 2pm

06/09/2026

SALE! SALE! SALE!

THE DETAILS:

When: June 10 – June 13 (This Wednesday through Saturday!)

The Deal: 50% Off ALL Cookbooks!

Where: The Church Mouse in Sparta, NJ at the Sparta UMC

A REASSURING “HEALTH” UPDATE FROM YOUR LOCAL THRIFT SHOP

Our volunteer staff in Aisle 3 has noticed a dramatic uptick in local outbreaks of Unwarranted Culinary Optimism.
Medical professionals say the onset is rapid and triggered exclusively by eye contact with a photograph of a perfect, golden-brown pastry.

The Symptoms Are Predictable:

You lock eyes with a recipe for a 47-step artisanal sourdough.

For a fleeting, beautiful, highly delusional three seconds, you genuinely believe you are the kind of person who has the time, patience, and emotional stability to raise a wild yeast starter.

You buy the book, carry it home like a trophy, and immediately order a large 3-cheese pizza because reading about flour made you tired.

The book is then ceremonially placed under your microwave to act as a sophisticated structural riser.

Do not panic. There is no known cure, but we can drastically lower your co-pay for treatment.

From Wednesday, June 10th through Saturday, June 13th, our entire, beautifully chaotic collection of cookbooks is 50% OFF!
Let’s be honest: buying a cookbook isn't about buying instructions; it's about buying a cheaper version of an alternate reality. At half price, you are investing in a glorious lifestyle prop. It will look absolutely spectacular on your counter, convincing your neighbors that you know exactly what "confit" means—even if you only open the cover once to splatter a single, symbolic drop of marinara sauce on page 12 so it looks like you’ve at least tried.

What Treasures Await You in the Recipe Aisle

We have curated a selection that spans decades of human ambition, culinary triumph, and sheer historical audacity. Come rescue a volume from genres such as:

The 1970s "Mayonnaise & Suspense" Era: Vintage community cookbooks where literally every single recipe begins with two cups of heavy cream, a block of cream cheese, a massive dollop of mayo, and a silent prayer. If it can be aggressively encased in lime gelatin, it is waiting for you here.

The "1996 New Year's Resolution" Section: Retro diet booklets that confidently promise you can achieve inner peace and a tiny waist by living entirely off of boiled cabbage soup, lemon water, and positive thoughts.

The High-Gloss Paperbacks: Books featuring dishes with ingredients you can neither pronounce nor find within a 50-mile radius.

You will never, ever make these. But you will stare intensely at the photos of beautifully plated food while eating dry cereal out of a Tupperware bowl at midnight.

The Bizarrely Specific Outliers: Books dedicated entirely to the artistic versatility of the humble potato.

Our Official "Expectation Management" Disclaimer
Because we refuse to over-promise, let’s be perfectly clear about what you are actually buying. We cannot legally guarantee that these books will turn you into a culinary genius. In fact, based on intensive staff research, purchasing a half-price cookbook will most likely result in one of the following highly probable outcomes:

The Microwave Elevation Miracle: You don't actually cook anything, but you use three vintage soft-covers to perfectly align your microwave with eye level.

The Drop-In Deception: You leave a glossy pastry book open on your counter right before your neighbors stop by, ensuring they leave with the distinct impression that you spent your morning wrestling with laminated dough.

The Late-Night Visual Feast: You find yourself sitting on the kitchen floor at 1:00 AM, intensely studying a photograph of wood-fired sea bass garnished with hand-harvested micro-greens, while eating lukewarm spaghetti straight out of a Tupperware container.

The Bottom Line: A good thrifted cookbook is cheaper than takeout, looks way more impressive to your house guests, and gives you legal permission to dream big. Come find a vintage gem or a classic masterpiece this week before they’re all gone!

Aprons are entirely optional. Great expectations and high drama are guaranteed.

06/02/2026

EMERGENCY BROADCAST FOR THE FASHIONABLY FRUGAL
SALE!!!

50% OFF ALL DRESSES & PANTS in ALL departments from Wednesday June 3 through Saturday June 6 (and yes, we mean ALL departments. Men’s, women’s, kids etc., the "Is this vintage or did a wizard once wear it?" section and the “Is this high fashion or did a goblin trade it for three shiny buttons and a gum wrapper?" section—EVERYTHING!)

Here is your official tactical breakdown of the battlefield:

THE "LOOKS LIKE I TRIED" COLLECTION: High-effort vibes, low-effort ex*****on.

Whether you prefer the structural safety of a two-legged fabric prison or the majestic freedom of a giant wearable cone, we have successfully cracked the code on gaslighting the public into thinking you have your life together. Behold, your tools of deception:

~The "Brunch Alibi": Sundresses that scream, "I am a semi-functioning member of society who enjoys mimosas by the lake!," when in reality, you rolled out of bed 12 minutes ago and haven't brushed your teeth yet.

~The "Main Character" Maxis: Perfect for dramatic swishing down the grocery store’s produce aisle. Guaranteed to make grabbing an avocado look like a cinematic event.

~The Denim Time Machine: Jeans straight out of the 90s that will instantly make you want to go buy a Walkman and a cassette tape.

~The Retro-Pattern Time Machine: Everyday dresses from decades past that will make you feel like a “rad” art teacher from 1984.

~The Vintage Corduroy Time Machine: Pants that make a loud zip-zip sound when you walk, transporting you directly back to a 1970s bowling alley.

Bonus: Science proves that dresses are just socially acceptable blankets.

PANTS: Leg-Tubes of Glory

The "Adulting" Trousers: Look like you understand 401(k)s and interest rates, even if you don't.

Denim Destiny: Jeans that actually fit your waist and your thighs. (A mathematical miracle, we know).

The Mega-Slouch Loungers: Elastic waistbands engineered for maximum snack capacity during your next 12-hour Hulu binge.

Cargo Pants Enthusiasts: Think of how many loose snacks, cool rocks, or small frogs you can fit in those pockets! (Current record is 3 loose mozzarella sticks, a handful of gravel, and a live hamster named Sir Gary. (Sir Gary was returned safely to his family).

THRIFT CODE OF CONDUCT:

1. The Pocket Investigation: Check the pockets. If you find a movie ticket stub from 1998, a rogue shiny button, or a piece of ancient lint, please marvel at its historical significance and report your findings to management.

2. Doing the "Thrift Shimmy" in the mirror to confirm you can successfully escape a swarm of bees while wearing it is highly encouraged.

~Unnecessary Disclaimer: No small frogs or hamsters were injured in the making of this post.

~OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: Everything on this page is subject to human error, autocorrect sabotage, and our general state of whimsy. We are not responsible for misprints or misunderstandings, especially since our in-house comedic writer is frequently operating on high hopes and low amounts of sleep. If a post seems too good to be true, it’s probably a typo. Or a miracle. But mostly a typo. Please shop—and read—accordingly. Any resemblance between our descriptions and actual reality is purely coincidental.

05/30/2026

✨ NEW DROPS AT THE MOUSE! ✨

Ever wanted to look like old money without actually having any? We’ve got you covered. We just unboxed a stunning collection of vintage silver serving ware! Perfect for making your takeout look incredibly classy.

While you're here, come raid our vintage costume jewelry cases. It’s all the glam, all the drama, and absolutely none of the high-end insurance policies. Come find your next treasure today! 💎

05/17/2026

THIS IS NOT A DRILL, BARGAIN HUNTERS!

Clear your schedules, stretch those adorable thrifting muscles, and prepare your biggest reusable bags, because the thrifting event of the century is officially here!

From Wednesday May 20th to Saturday May 23rd, we are giving you 50% OFF THE ENTIRE SHOP in honor of Memorial Day! Yes, you read that right. Half off. Everything.

Our shelves are packed to the rafters, and while we can't guarantee exactly what’s waiting for you, we might (but probably don’t) have:

~A porcelain teacup containing a tiny Victorian ghost who will loudly tut-tut every time you stream reality TV. (Don’t ask us how we know that.)

~An unlabeled cassette tape that just plays 45 minutes of a man loudly clearing his throat.

~An autographed photo of a guy named Gary who claims he invented the high-five.

~A vintage cookbook featuring recipes exclusively for things that should never be encased in jello. (Trust us, the list is vast!)

~A life-sized papier-mâché statue of Nicolas Cage... the undisputed king of unhinged, chaotic thrift store energy. (We probably don't have this, but honestly, can you afford to risk missing out if we do?)

~Is it a vase? A fishbowl? A gift for that cousin you can’t believe you still have to buy birthday gifts for? A home for your succulents? YOU DECIDE!

~A haunted 1990s "Bop It" toy that aggressively screams "TWIST IT" every time you remember an embarrassing moment from middle school.

~A mysterious, unmarked key that definitely opens a secret chamber or a 1994 Honda Civic.

~A 1970s avocado-green fondue pot that still smells faintly of disco and political disappointment.

~An unapologetic amount of mismatched vintage salt and pepper shakers.

~An encyclopedia volume exclusively covering the letters "M" through "N."

~A vintage bowling shirt belonging to a man named "Big Ernie."

Whether you are hunting for retro vintage clothing, unique jewelry, classic toys, bizarre knick-knacks, or absolute hidden gems—kick off your holiday weekend right! Cancel your meetings, ignore your chores, and mark your calendars for Wednesday May 20th – Saturday May 23rd!

Come ready to take home a piece of history (or an object so deeply confusing you’ll have to hide it in the guest closet when your in-laws visit).

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OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: Everything on this page is subject to human error, autocorrect sabotage, and our general state of whimsy. We are not responsible for misprints or misunderstandings, especially since our in-house comedic writer is frequently operating on high hopes and low amounts of sleep. If a post seems too good to be true, it’s probably a typo. Or a miracle. But mostly a typo. Please shop—and read—accordingly. Any resemblance between our descriptions and actual reality is purely coincidental.

05/04/2026

🕯️ THE GREAT MATERNAL ATONEMENT SALE 🕯️

Mom…Let’s be real: You owe her. Big time.

Remember the "experimental" haircut you gave your little brother in the second grade the night before school picture day? The time you "accidentally" fermented a ham and pickle sandwich in the back of your mom’s minivan for the ENTIRE month of July? Or the “phase" where you refused to eat anything that wasn't orange? Because apparently, you believed a human being could survive indefinitely on a diet of Tang and circus peanuts.

Maybe it was the 2018 Incident where you "borrowed" her car and returned it with a mysterious purple stain in the glove box and a missing hubcap. Or just... the teenage years in general.

The debt is high, and a $7 greeting card from the pharmacy isn't going to clear your tab. I’ve lovingly omitted any mention of your 7th Grade Baritone Sax Saga, because your mother’s rearview mirror was never quite the same after that 'loading incident' in the driveway during a snowstorm.

It’s time to settle the score.

From May 6th to May 9th, we are offering you the chance to buy your way back into your mother’s good graces with 50% OFF the entire Ladies’ Department. We’re talking clothing, shoes, handbags, and jewelry—the heavy hitters of maternal forgiveness.

🕵️‍♀️ THE BOUNTY (FOR YOUR CRIMES)

To truly atone for your past transgressions, you’ll need something spectacular. At our thrift shop you might find:

* A "Power Suit" so sharp it’ll make her forget you once used her professional fabric scissors to trim a piece of chicken wire and a frozen pepperoni pizza."
*
* A vintage handbag so cavernous it can comfortably hold all her secrets, a lifetime’s worth of emergency butterscotch candies, and the compounded interest on the $20 lunch you’ve owed her since the Obama administration.
*
* Jewelry so blindingly sparkly it functions as a retinal scrambler, temporarily stunning her so she forgets to ask why your phone only seems to 'work' when you need a Venmo transfer.
*
🦄 THE ABSURD & THE DIVINE

Our shop is packed with the kind of treasures that function as high-level currency in the world of maternal forgiveness. Just a heads-up: only the Ladies' Department is half-off. However, we encourage you to wander into our other aisles—you never know what full-priced nonsense might catch your eye.

You may or may not run into:

* A porcelain figurine of a Victorian child who looks significantly better behaved than you EVER were.
*
* The "International Woman of Mystery" Fedora: A hat with a brim so dramatic it allows her to skulk through the neighborhood undetected while she checks to see if you’ve finally mowed your lawn. (Pro Tip: You might want to consider moving farther away.)
*
* The "Magic Scarf": Legend says if she wears it while you’re explaining why you’re "moving back home for a bit," she’ll actually believe you. Results may vary.
*
* A sequined evening gown for the next time she needs to make a grand exit after you announce you're quitting your stable job to become a full-time professional "vibe consultant."
*
* A ceramic cat wearing a monocle: We don’t know why it’s here, but it’s the kind of magnificent nonsense that will eventually be fought over in your future inheritance battle.
*
THE BOTTOM LINE: She brought you into this world; the least you can do is get her a designer blazer for half-off and a 1970s commemorative bottle to store the absolute last of her patience in.

May 6–9. 50% Off the Ladies’ Department. Come redeem your soul. See you at the shop! 👗✨🏃‍♂️

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: Everything on this page is subject to human error, autocorrect sabotage, and our general state of whimsy. We are not responsible for misprints or misunderstandings, especially since our in-house comedic writer is frequently operating on high hopes and low amounts of sleep. If a post seems too good to be true, it’s probably a typo. Or a miracle. But mostly a typo. Please shop—and read—accordingly. Any resemblance between our descriptions and actual reality is purely coincidental.

Send a message to learn more

04/19/2026

CALLING ALL MAIN CHARACTERS: UPGRADE YOUR WARDROBE FROM "CASUAL FRIDAY" TO "DISINHERITED ROYALTY" FOR LESS!

Hold onto your vintage hats because the Mouse Thrift Shop is about to blow your sequins off! Whether you’re heading to the prom, a gala, or just want to look incredibly overdressed for your next trip to the DMV, we’ve got the sale of the century!

We have what you need to assemble a formal look so iconic that people will whisper about it for generations. We’re talking:

Dresses that make you look like a tragic 19th-century duchess!

Jewelry so sparkly it can be seen from the International Space Station!

Heels and Loafers that carry more secrets than a 1920s speakeasy!

The Mystery Purse: A formal clutch that looks like a seashell but somehow fits a full-sized rotisserie chicken. Don’t ask us how we know!

The Enchanted Waistcoat: A vest with so many intricate patterns it may actually be a topographical map of a mythical kingdom.

Velvet Blazers: So soft and deeply dramatic that wearing one automatically grants you the right to monologue near a fireplace.

PRO TIP: If you find a mysterious map tucked into the pocket of a 1970s leisure suit, follow it. It probably leads to more thrift shops.

🕒 THE DEETS 🕒

WHEN: Wed April 22nd – Sat. April 25th

WHAT: 50% OFF ALL FORMAL WEAR! (Men’s & Women’s)

INCLUDES: Suits, gowns, shoes, purses, jewelry, and every accessory you need to look like royalty.

WARNING: Our mirrors are honest, our prices are insane, and our sequins are vibrating at a frequency only dogs can hear.
Stop by between Wednesday 4/22 and Saturday 4/25 and assemble an outfit that will make everyone at the party say, "I don't know what's happening, but I LOVE it!"

See you there, you beautiful, thrifty legends!

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: Everything on this page is subject to human error, autocorrect sabotage, and our general state of whimsy. We are not responsible for misprints or misunderstandings, especially since our in-house comedic writer is frequently operating on high hopes and low amounts of sleep. If a post seems too good to be true, it’s probably a typo. Or a miracle. But mostly a typo. Please shop—and read—accordingly. Any resemblance between our descriptions and actual reality is purely coincidental.

Send a message to learn more

04/09/2026

ATTENTION: The Chaos Has Arrived!

We just unloaded the back room, and the sales floor is having a total system reboot in the best way possible. New merch galore! Whether you’re preparing for a gala, a BBQ, or a very exclusive nap, we’ve got you covered.

Here is the “must-see” list of what’s hitting the floor:

The Squishmallow Duo: I’d love to tell you we have a soft, velvety army of them, but we have exactly two. They are currently huddled together for warmth and looking for a forever home. It’s a high-stakes race to see who claims the pair first!

Prom Dresses: Ranging from “Vintage Taffeta masterpieces that scream, ‘I have a curfew, but I also have a high-voltage hair crimper.’” to “When you want everyone else to feel like an extra in your movie.” Perfect for actually going to prom, or just wearing while you take out the trash. Bonus: Guaranteed to confuse your neighbors.

Floppy Hats: These brims are so wide you’ll need a permit to walk through doorways. Ever wanted to look like a mysterious socialite at a vineyard? This is your moment.

Decorative Plates: Nothing screams “peak adulthood” like a goose painted on a plate that judges you with disdain while you eat over the sink on a paper plate like an 8th century peasant.

Grilling Utensils: For the backyard warriors. The spatulas are heavy-duty enough to flip a burger or defend your kingdom from a rabid squirrel. Note: If a second squirrel joins the fray, you’re on your own...we sell spatulas, not tactical reinforcement.

Wicker Baskets: We have enough to organize your entire life, your neighbor’s life, and still have a few left over for a very aesthetic picnic.

FEATURING OUR UNOFFICIAL THRIFT SHOP MODEL, JEN! She is the in-house Jen-ius of Style!

Our resident style icon has been working the floor, and frankly, the professional runways aren't ready for this level of heat. Check out her latest elite ensembles:

The Retro-Future Icon: She’s rocking that shiny silver jacket and heart glasses like she’s just back from an intergalactic shopping spree with no intention of explaining herself. It’s a look that says, “I don’t just enter a room; I illuminate it.”

The Pioneer Professional: Serving us “Little House on the Prairie” chic. In her floppy hat and floral dress, she’s giving us a stoic, confident gaze that says, “I’ve survived a long winter and I’m ready to churn some butter, but make it fashion-forward.”

The Prom Queen Whisperer: Jen has been out here manifesting everyone’s “Red Carpet Status” while showcasing our prom collection. Limo not included (or necessary). She’s bringing enough “Showstopper Status” to turn our parking lot into the Met Gala.

The “Tiny Purse” Professional: Mastering the “Academic Chic” vibe in a cozy brown sweater. The sweater says, “I read classic literature by the fire,” but the tiny purse says, “I have exactly one lip gloss, a bus token, and a single secret, and that’s all I’m carrying today.”

Come see these looks in person before our model decides she’s too famous for us!

DISCLAIMER: Everything on this page is subject to human error, autocorrect sabotage, and our general state of whimsy. We are not responsible for misprints or misunderstandings, especially since our in-house comedic writer is frequently operating on high hopes and low amounts of sleep. If a post seems too good to be true, it’s probably a typo. Or a miracle. But mostly a typo. Please shop—and read—accordingly. Any resemblance between our descriptions and actual reality is purely coincidental.

Location: The Church Mouse at Sparta UMC, 71 Sparta Ave, Sparta, NJ

⏰ Hours:

Wednesdays, 10am to 2pm
Thursdays, 1pm to 4pm
Fridays, 1pm to 4pm
Saturdays, 10am to 2pm

Pro Tip: Come early! If you want one of the Two Chosen Squishmallows, you better move fast. Once they’re gone, we’re back to just staring at the decorative plates for emotional support. See you there! Tell them Jill sent you!

04/01/2026

Hippity Hoppity, the Shop is Going to Briefly Stoppity! 🐰

No eggs-aggeration: we’re taking a short break! We will be closed this Friday and Saturday for Easter weekend. We hope your weekend is filled with good finds and even better company!