01/26/2023
I went through another dark night of the soul 🌀
This time I had a tremendous breakthrough in my heart chakra.
For weeks I was anxiously observing my surroundings, afraid that something will go wrong if I stop and take a pause to breathe, and I might lose what I have built in the past year, whether it be friends, love, community, clients, faith...
These feelings/thoughts were eating me from the inside, because all my energy was out there, in the world of lack and neediness. I was exhausting myself by keeping the boundaries, and fighting my old programs which would not allow me to rase my consciousness. I even lost 8 pounds during the process (which is not healthy, based on BMI)
I’m blessed to have my spirit guides who gently walked me into idleness, due to a lack of energy and desire.
This was the moment of complete stillness, as if the sounds of busy streets were suddenly turned off and you hear nothing but your breath.
I took a deep inhale and jumped into that stillness. I swam down towards the darkness, the place where my heart was.
My heart was in pain. I saw how much it went through, how much trauma and griff it held, all these memories, from the day I was born.
That was the moment I remembered a story of Kisa Guatami who could not let go of her dead child and she asked Buddha to make her son alive. The Buddha asked her to bring him a handful of mustard seed. It should be brought from a house where no one had died.
I'm going to wrap up my story here, because it's a lot more than this, but that’s how I allowed myself to let go of control once again, I allowed myself to free my spirit, my mind, my soul. Life is precious, and the choice is real.
I love you 💙🌀🪬🧿
