Beautifully Blended Inc.

06/07/2026

06/02/2026

For the past few weeks, I have really been deep diving into red flags and triggers. Not in the general since of how we all understand them but on a personal level of how each can be unique to us and our circumstances. I watched a movie recently based on a recommendation of a family member.

While the movie itself had some shortcomings, the message was amazing. The female character details how she overlooked signs in her life. Hindsight is 20/20, isn't it? This young lady was facing challenges at work, in her home, and trying to remain sober.

She had been sober for three years, and she is faced with an incident at work that threatens her job. This is a stressor that could cause her to drink. It was ignored. She has a younger brother who is an adult but seeks her to clean up his messes. This, too, is a stressor that was ignored. Instead of going to a meeting to help her cope in a healthy way, she feels that she's lonely and what she really needs is a man. She finds one, and he came to her job for a blood test with the police on a DUI charge. RED FLAG city, but she ignores it.

Now it's easy for us to say oh she should have seen all of these issues. We're on the outside looking in. How many times have you been healed in an area of your life and thought you were strong enough to love someone else through it? How many times have you put more on yourself than you needed to,and it caused you to look at your old vices or get out of the routines that have been helping you maintain healthy habits?

Scripture says, "Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals." Some interpret this to be only who we align our friendships with. We have to be watchful of anything that will derail us on our journey to being and maintaining a life healthy, healed, and whole. It's not about being strong enough, or it's been long enough that I can deal with this or that. It's about being transparent enough with ourselves to see a sign and heed it regardless of if it has been 3 days, 6 months, or 9 years. We can't mistake the root as resisting the temptation. The goal is not just to resist but to understand what sparks the need.

05/20/2026

I was having a conversation with a friend about a man, and there were things that she rattled off about him that immediately set off alarm bells for me. It was at that moment that I realized that these things might not be issues for others they are a big deal for me. And I had to understand why they were important to me. This thrust me into a deep dive of red flags.

Beware of the signs the red flags. We say this like the red flags are universal. Of course, I understand that some red flags are universal, but the ones that are missed most are the red flags that are personal to us. What may be a trigger for you may not be a problem for someone else.

Understanding the flags personal to you is important. If you can not articulate them for yourself, you can't explain them to someone else. That can lead to assumptions, miscommunication, and/or you being talked out of red flags. We all have well-meaning friends who may unknowingly talk us into situations we already knew we didn't need to be in.

Your personal red flags, also referred to as deal breakers, are valuable to your peace. You don't want to partner with anyone you can't be your best self with. How many times have we heard of someone being categorized as insecure when they actually just wanted to feel safe but didn't have the bandwidth to explain it?

This understanding is imperative to protecting, maintaining, and growing your peace. It is crucial to being healthy, healed, and whole.

05/10/2026

Happy Mother's Day! May you continue to be earthly representations of our God's unconditional love

05/06/2026

We read fairytales as children and romance novels as adults that emphasize your happily ever after. You begin to draw the conclusion that you can't be happy unless you are with "your person." Some spouses even use their happiness or lack thereof as grounds for separation or divorce.

I've learned that no one can make you happy. Happiness has to start with you. If my happiness depends on the actions of others, then my sorrow does as well. Do I really want other people to have that much control over my emotions? Do I want the difference between a good and bad day to be in the hands of others?

Happiness is an inside job. I need to understand myself, what I enjoy, what I don't. I need to be the thermostat of my life setting my own temperature, not allowing those around me those to dictate my moods. When I realized that my happiness was the sole responsibility of me, I also realized there was something even better than happiness. It's called joy.

Happiness comes and goes, but when you discover your joy, you can get to a place of contentment. Being content, no matter what's going on, is true peace, and it allows you to handle every situation with thought. Even though it may be uncomfortable or triggering, you can hold on to your joy and keep your peace of mind because you have done the work inside.

05/01/2026

"You know what's worse than being single? Wanting to be single." Pastor Ed

When I heard this, I yelled, "You betta know it," and almost threw my phone. If you know, you know. Who you choose as a partner is so important. We can make choices based on our feelings instead of facts. We can make choices based on our "fictitious" clock. We can make choices out of obiligation.

Do you know what I believe our biggest error is? We make a choice for a life partner, and we haven't taken the time to know and love ourselves so we can make the best decision for us. How do you know what you can accept FOR LIFE if you are misinformed on who you are and what you need?

I would venture to say that while society cites communication and finances as top reasons for divorce, the true common denominator is settling. We meet a nice man or woman, and we see potential, we see red flags that we lazily evaluate. We miscategorize sacrifices as compromises. One day, we wake up and realize oh this is FOR LIFE and we want out. We understand that we settled, but we believe the settling was in who we chose when it actually began when we decided to choose without ensuring we were healthy healed and whole. We settled on choosing from a broken place on being a taped up version of ourselves in a relationship.

If we took the time to really know ourselves and understand what works for us to be our best self, we could make informed decisions. We wouldn't try to force square pegs into round holes or try to make nice people, life people. By knowing yourself when you are choosing a spouse, you can see them with your eyes wide open. You can say that even if they never change, I can commit to this FOR LIFE from a clear heart and mind. As the song says, "Take your time. What's the rush?" Some extra time alone is much more peaceful than spending years wishing you were alone.