The Council for Sustainable Healing

10/17/2024

I have a daily morning and evening "Quiet Time/Prayer/Meditation/Contemplation" Practice.

One of my morning readings today was just so beautifully wise I am choosing to share. 💞

On this day I have been gifted a full, open and tender heart in the midst of bitter/sweet memories of the past, acceptance of the present challenges and hope in Christ for the future. 🕊

And for this most joyous of blessings I am grateful! 💖🙏 🥰

For Me: At-One-Ment = At-One-With = All-One = Alone = Freedom 🕊

"Changing Inside

As we greet co-workers or friends, we feel that we are changing inside. We begin to recognize a power inside we had not known before." BigRedBook p. 273

Regularly taking a quiet time helps us to grow up emotionally and spiritually. How we take it depends on our choices. At first, we spend time by ourselves when we need to, letting others do what they will to take care of themselves. If they spend it getting drunk and high, we let them, but we no longer seek that outlet for our pain and suffering, if that was how we previously coped. Later, we see that we actually enjoy spending time alone. We don't fill ourselves up with others just to pass the time and keep us numb. We no longer pretend to be excited when we're not. We seek those we can truly connect with and enjoy. We talk not just about superficial things, but about who we are and what's important to us. People respect us more at work and elsewhere because we don't seek constant approval as we did in our families. We no longer do things we're uncomfortable with just for the sake of fitting in. As we become more genuine, we allow others to find their own paths; instead of labeling them, we now make room for our differences. If some don't like the new us, we have to let them go. We adjust our list of whom we can trust.

On this day I will own my power to be genuine and feel how comfortable it is to focus on being myself."

02/14/2024

So many couples - married and single - get scared when the romance settles and decreases...assuming "oh no! Something is wrong!" A little more space, patience and compassion in that moment can go a long way. Thanks to LDS Living for the invitation to write this week about a mindful approach to romance.

A moment of feeling less romantic excitement can be uniquely challenging—even terrifying—for both dating and married couples today. That’s because so many of us now take for granted, as one writer says, that “if human love ever wanes, then it wasn’t love in the first place.” In one study...

02/09/2024

One lasting impression I take away from this story is the joy and peace I saw on Mike's face, who I interviewed for this story on incarcerated men and women who are finding new lives and hearts. I know many who will never experience a real (physical) prison who have nowhere near the light and brightness he has; it honestly shocked me. (Mike now helps other men and women find the same mighty change from addiction @ https://mightychange.org/)

Grateful to Glen Mills and administration at the Utah State Correctional Facility and the leaders at the Great Salt Lake District of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, especially Elder Clarke and President Callan, for their openness and support to me and Marielle to make this story possible. https://www.deseret.com/faith/2024/2/7/24056792/ministering-to-the-most-marginalized

After being released from prison, the formerly incarcerated can face fear and rejection. Reminding them of their value is the mission of religious ministries at the Utah State Correctional Facility

01/09/2024

Thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law Lauren Halliday Hess for allowing me to share this glimpse of your life in the most bitter of the winter season - and what you've learned from Danish and Scandinavian practices. Appreciations to Dr Stephen Ilardi for the interview as well.

Some Utahns are beginning to experiment with Danish winter practices bolstered by new scientific findings that they can help to counteract seasonal depression.

12/31/2023

Happy New Year’s! This weekend, I’m thinking about the many amazing men and women (of all backgrounds - old and young, believing and questioning) who are struggling to step away from po*******hy. If that includes someone you love, please consider sharing this new monograph I just finished, which should provide some new hope. If you’re in the same situation, maybe spend some time with this too. It's been such a thrill to work on. May 2024 be "The Year You Found Freedom."

So many wonder today: how does anyone find deep healing and real, lasting freedom from compulsive-addictive po*******hy use? Here's what I learned from 50 people who have actually found it.

08/22/2023

The highest and most elevated expression of love is honoring agency. The highest and most elevated expression of honoring agency is choosing love! 💖

Live and Let Live...Love and Let Love! 💞

06/28/2023

"There are as many ways to grieve as there are people who are grieving." 💞

06/25/2023

10/18/2022

Reparenting

"With the Steps and by reparenting ourselves, we can further remove the ‘buttons' that have been pushed by others to manipulate us or to get a reaction out of us." BRB p. 326
As children, others manipulated us at will. Sometimes it seemed we were born to be used by others. We showed up for horrible people who sucked us dry of our courage and strength, because that is what we learned from our families. That's what they told us we were meant for by the way they treated us every day.
As adults, we now know we can set boundaries with those who abuse us. When we find that we have recreated an unmanageable situation at work, we get new jobs. We change our living arrangements when we find that we are once again living with addicts who keep us awake at night and need us to look after them.
In recovery, we make space to feel the anger and shame that were handed to us in our childhoods, and we heal. We may even detach from abusive family members permanently if that's what it takes to maintain serenity.
On this day I will write down what I want my life to be like as a way of turning things over to my Higher Power

08/13/2022

Language

"We recognize a spectrum that transcends language and trauma. We recognize the light in ourselves and others." BRB p. 438
In our dysfunctional families, many of us held our heads down because we consistently heard language that was meant to shame us. We were told things like, "I'll give you something to cry about," "Who do you think you are - something special?" "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all!" "What are you - stupid?" and "Can't you do any better than that?" These negatives became so ingrained in us that we still hear them inside our heads from our critical inner parent.
In ACA, we learn to hold our heads high as we hear different, affirming messages, like "One Day at a Time," "First Things First," "Easy Does It," and "Keep It Simple." They remind us to be gentle with ourselves.
As we recover from the hurtful language of our childhoods, we start by acknowledging the harm it has done. We affirm that we are not defined by these shaming words as we tell ourselves that crying is okay, that we are special human beings, that we don't have to be perfect, and that we all make mistakes - it's what makes us human. These positive assurances help us finally explore who we were meant to be. And as we heal, we are able to provide similar assurances to others.
On this day I will make a conscious effort to think only positive things about myself and my abilities as I learn to undo the damage of the past.