09/06/2025
Stop giving “good men” a pass just because their abuse doesn’t look like the stereotype.
Just because it doesnt leave marks, scars, or bruises doesnt mean it isnt abuse.
So many women tell me: “My husband isn’t mean. He doesn’t yell, he doesn’t tell me to shut up, he’s not controlling.”
And on the surface, that might sound like he’s a “good man.” But here’s the truth: abuse isn’t always loud. It isn’t always physical. Sometimes it’s silent. Subtle. Dismissive.
He may not tell you to “quit nagging” or even yell at you about it.
But he gives you the silent treatment. He walks out of the room while you’re talking. He scrolls on his phone while you’re pouring your heart out.
He may not say, “No, you can’t go out with your friends.”
But when you come home, the kids are unfed, the house is a disaster, and you’re immediately put back in crisis mode. Or he calls and texts you the entire time you’re gone so you can’t relax for a single second.
He may not forbid you from pursuing hobbies or dreams.
But his indifference, apathy, and lack of follow-through make sure you’re too exhausted to ever chase them.
This is abuse, too.
It doesn’t leave bruises, but it leaves scars. It erodes your confidence, your joy, your sense of self.
And just because it doesn’t look like abuse from the outside, doesn’t mean it isn’t harmful. In fact, the invisibility of it is what keeps so many women doubting themselves — wondering if they’re “overreacting” or “asking for too much.”
You’re not.
Silence, apathy, and indifference are not neutral. They are controlling. They are destructive. They are abuse.