TCF #1114

08/23/2026

Today's heart was found at my sister's in Anacortes, WA. This Tuesday August 24th at 7 o'clock is the 4th Tuesday meeting. Let me know in the DM if you need the zoom link.

New resources that we talked about at the last meeting are:

Home - COPE Foundation https://share.google/4fufMwIDVvxQkzbKA

Speaking Grief | Public Media Documentary and Awareness Initiative https://share.google/hJQeBEGqeKPmo64Mb

08/11/2026

Tonight is our 2nd Tuesday of the month zoom meeting at 7 p.m.. DM for the link.

Each month we meet to honor our children, who have gone too soon. At the last meeting we talked about reminders and looking for them throughout the last two weeks.

Re-minder:
a: something that calls a memory or thought to the mind
b: something designed to prompt or aid the memory

That something shows up in many ways. Common reminders include most frequently through vivid dreams, sudden familiar scents, and repeating numbers or symbolic animals.

How to Notice and Interpret Them
Stay Open: Pay attention to your immediate surroundings and quiet your mind instead of forcing a logical explanation for every small event.
Look for Patterns: Notice if a specific theme, word, or symbol keeps showing up in different parts of your daily routine.
Trust Your Gut: Reflect on how a potential sign makes you feel emotionally; true guidance usually brings a deep sense of clarity or a gentle inner nudge.

We may not get reminders directly but others might notice things and share.

07/31/2026

Beautifully, bravely written…and so true.
(Parentheses my words)

“People talk about grief all the time (but still not enough!).
We share beautiful quotes about carrying love and learning to live alongside loss.

That’s what child loss steals.
Not just your child.
It steals your sense of safety.
It steals the innocence of believing tomorrow is promised.
It steals the quiet confidence that your children will come home.

The hardest part?
Making sure your fear doesn't become their burden.
Our surviving children deserve freedom.

Because parenting after child loss (and just LIVING after child loss) often means looking calm on the outside while your nervous system is screaming on the inside.

We don't talk enough about the trauma.
The PTSD.
The way your body reacts long before your rational mind has a chance to remind you everything is probably okay.”

BRAVE 💙
Shared from River's Gift
Written by our CEO, Alex Hamilton | Bereaved mother of River aged 4 months old

Parenting after child loss is hard.
Not because I don't know how to parent. Although, if I'm honest, I questioned every part of myself after River died.
It's hard because my brain doesn't know how to trust the world anymore.

Last week, my 13 year old daughter, Shiloh, went on a school ski trip.
She was excited.
Her friends were excited.
The other parents were excited.

I was terrified.

Not because skiing is dangerous. But because when you've chosen a coffin for your baby, your brain never quite works the same again.

I don't see a bus heading to the snow.
I see icy roads.

I don't see chairlifts.
I see accidents.

Not just passing thoughts either. My mind plays them out in vivid detail, as though they've already happened.

I don't see a phone call.
I see the phone call.

People talk about grief all the time. We share beautiful quotes about carrying love and learning to live alongside loss.

But we don't talk enough about the trauma.
The PTSD.
The way your body reacts long before your rational mind has a chance to remind you everything is probably okay.

Every time my phone buzzed, my stomach dropped.
The only thing that got me through was repeating the same sentence over and over...
No news is good news.

Not because I thought something had happened.
Because I know something can happen.

Before River died, I genuinely believed terrible things happened to other people.
Now I know they happen to people exactly like us.

That's what child loss steals.
Not just your child.
It steals your sense of safety.
It steals the innocence of believing tomorrow is promised.
It steals the quiet confidence that your children will come home.

The hardest part?
Making sure your fear doesn't become their burden.
Our surviving children deserve freedom.

School camps.
Sleepovers.
Ski trips.
Overseas adventures.
First loves.

They deserve to experience life without carrying the weight of what happened to their brother.

So I packed her clothes.
Double checked everything.
Hugged her a little tighter than usual.
Told her to have the best time.
Waited until she she said "See you next week, Mum. Love you..."

Then I cried.

Because parenting after child loss often means looking calm on the outside while your nervous system is screaming on the inside.
..and she came home beaming, having had new experiences, learning new skills and having seen snow for the first time. How could I deprive her of that?...

If this is you too...
If every school camp, every flight, every late-night drive or unanswered phone call makes your heart race...
You're not overreacting.
You're not failing.
You're living with a brain that has learned, in the hardest possible way, that the unthinkable can happen.

And some days, simply letting your child walk out the front door feels like the bravest thing you'll do.
- Alex Hamilton

07/16/2026

I will talk about you forever because loving you didn’t end when you died. Because there’s no way I’m letting the world move on without you. Because forgetting you was never an option. Because it’s the only way I k ow how to keep you alive. And as long as I keep doing that, a piece of you will always be here too.

And I want to do that. I want to talk about you forever. Not because I’m stuck or in denial or unable to accept they’re gone, but because I refuse to stop loving you out loud. I refuse to let that love disappear just because the world kept spinning. So I mean it when I say, I’ll talk about you forever. On the good days, the hard ones, the overwhelming anniversaries and the ordinary days where I miss you so quietly that mo one even notices.
- prettypainfulgriefbook
Artist Credit: via Pinterest

07/15/2026

Elephants return to their deceasd loved one years later
Orca mothers won’t let go of their calves who have passed away
Crows circle their fallen
Coyotes have mournful calls into the night for their mates
Geese will stay beside the one they loved and visibly mourn for years, possible to never mate again
and humans?
Humans ask if we’ve moved on yet & maybe that’s the reminder we need in a world that moves so quickly:
creation has never rushed anything it has loved, into being forgotten, and we don’t have to rush ourselves into forgetting our grief either.
- Jessie raelyn
Artist Credit: Pamela Williams via Pinterest

07/10/2026

I lived in the joy of loving you, and now that love has taken the shape of grief. It’s not a burden but a deep, everlasting reminder of what once was. Grief may be heavy, but it’s the weight of love that has no place to go. I will carry it because it connects me to you, because it is love still, just changed. Even in its pain, it’s not something I resent; it’s the continuation of the love we shared, the way love transforms but never really fades. Grief is love’s echo, and I will hold it with the same fierceness as I once held you. Love never dies. ❤️
Artist Credit: Amanda Cass via Pinterest

07/07/2026

Grief becomes the filter of our soul, the gatekeeper of our hearts, through which everything must pass. - TCFV

After someone we love dies, we don't simply return to who we were before.

How could we?

The person who once believed life was predictable now knows it can change in a single moment. The heart that once loved without hesitation has learned the unbearable cost of loving deeply. That knowledge cannot be undone.

Grief begins to shape the way we move through the world. We notice what others don't. We become more aware of how fragile life really is. We become more protective of the people we love and ourselves. More careful with who and what we allow into our lives, and often less tolerant of things that once seemed important.

Grief is the reason for our pain. It is born from a love that is no longer has a physical presence. But perhaps it also becomes a quiet protector. Not by shielding us from heartbreak, because nothing can do that, but by changing us. It teaches us to recognise what truly matters. It asks us to guard our hearts more carefully, not to love less, but because we now understand the weight that love carries.

Is it possible to live in the after without being changed?

Perhaps not.

Perhaps grief becomes part of the lens through which we see the world. Every decision, every relationship, every goodbye, every joy passes through it. It doesn't erase who we were, but it forever alters how we experience life.

The pain remains because the love remains.

And maybe that is grief's greatest paradox. The very thing that wounds us so deeply also quietly reshapes us, helping us protect what is precious, because we know, more than most, what it means to lose it.
Artist Credit: Unknown via Pinterest

07/04/2026

07/03/2026

I will carry you with me into everyday you've never lived and
every year you've never known.
- Molly Mattocks

“I will carry you with me into every day you’ve never lived and every year you’ve never known” isn’t a promise made lightly. It’s not poetic comfort. It’s the reality of grief after the numbness wears off, when loss settles into the long stretch of living. You carry them into mornings they never woke to, seasons they never aged into, changes they never witnessed. Every milestone comes with a quiet awareness: you’re stepping into something they were meant to be part of.

Carrying someone like this isn’t sentimental. It’s heavy. It means making room for them in a life that no longer holds their body, their voice, their future. It means holding their memory alongside new experiences, knowing they don’t cancel each other out. Joy doesn’t replace grief. It coexists with it, often uncomfortably.

This is what it means to keep loving someone who didn’t get to keep living. You don’t leave them behind as time goes on. You take them with you, into days they never lived, into years they never knew and you keep going, not because it’s easy, but because love made them part of who you are and always will be.
Artwork Credit: Unknown via Pinterest

07/01/2026

Bereaved Parents Awareness Month is recognized throughout July, dedicated to shedding light on the profound grief parents experience after the loss of a child. This month emphasizes the crucial need for compassionate support and understanding. Discover ways to offer comfort, connect with vital resources, and honor the enduring love for children gone too soon.

Bereaved Parents Awareness Month - National Today https://share.google/QpEjHbfO39KtDwCBQ