TCF #1114

05/26/2026

Tomorrow (Tuesday the 26th) we will have our regular 4th Tuesday zoom meeting at 7 p.m. DM if you need the link.

May Newsletter -

05/25/2026

On this Memorial Day, TCF is thinking of our families who have lost a child, grandchild, or sibling in service to their country.

05/24/2026

grief weeds out your circle. it’s always the ones who haven’t experienced true loss that are the quickest to judge. you don’t owe anyone an explanation for
surviving the unimaginable.
- makayla de boer
Grief has a way of showing you who can sit with pain… and who only knows how to judge it from a distance.
When you are surviving unimaginable loss, your world changes completely, but many people still expect you to behave as though it hasn’t. They become uncomfortable with your sadness, your anger, your withdrawal, or the way grief has changed you. Not because you are grieving wrong, but because they have never had to carry that kind of pain themselves.
The truth is, grief often weeds out your circle. Some people disappear when your loss no longer feels “recent” enough for them. Others offer opinions about how you should cope, heal, move forward, or behave. But loss changes a person forever, and there is no neat or comfortable way to survive it.
You do not owe anyone an explanation for how hard this is.
You do not owe anyone proof of your pain.
And you do not have to shrink your grief just to make others comfortable.
Sometimes surviving the unimaginable means disappointing people who expected you to stay the same after your world fell apart.
Artist Credit: Unknown AI modified via Pinterest

05/18/2026

Someone needs to say this out loud...

You are allowed to grieve however you need to grieve.

You are allowed to cry in public and not apologize for it.

You are allowed to laugh at a memory and not feel guilty about it.

You are allowed to be angry without explaining yourself.

You are allowed to talk about them every single day for the rest of your life.

You are allowed to not be okay two years later.

Five years later.

Ten years later.

You are allowed to skip the party.

Leave early.

Say no to things that hurt.

Protect your peace without justifying it to anyone.

You are allowed to grieve loudly.

Or quietly.

Or both on the same day.

You are allowed to fall apart on a Tuesday for no reason anyone else can see.

And you are allowed to put yourself back together on your own terms.

Not theirs.

Society did not love who you lost.

Society did not sit with them.

Laugh with them.

Hold them.

Miss them in the specific way that only you miss them.

So society does not get to tell you when to be done.

How to do it.

Or what it should look like when you're healing.

You get to decide that.

You always did...

Give yourself the grace to grieve the way your love actually feels.

Not the way the world is comfortable with.

Your grief is yours....

Honor it.

05/16/2026

Lynda Boucugnani-Whitehead shares in her article, "The Experience of Grief." Visit our website to read the full article.

05/12/2026

Meeting tonight (Tuesday, May 12th). I can't believe it's May already. The tree is from my parents neighbors yard. DM if you need the zoom link for tonight's meeting at 7:00 p.m. (PST)

05/04/2026

BEREAVED MOTHER'S DAY 2026
Today is Bereaved Mother’s Day – a day that holds deep meaning, but also deep pain.

For many, this day is not filled with flowers or breakfast in bed, but with aching hearts and quiet reflection. It's a day for the mothers who hold their children in their hearts instead of their arms. A day that recognises the love that continues long after loss.

For many bereaved families TODAY is the day they choose to go out for lunch, light a candle, or spend time with others who understand. For others, it’s a time for solitude and self-care.

Next week – Mother’s Day – may be too overwhelming for those who have lost a child, while social media fills with smiling families and celebratory posts, many bereaved mothers are simply trying to get through the day.

To all the mothers grieving their child, in any way or at any age – we see you. We honour you. Your love, your motherhood, your grief – all of it matters.
Artist credit: Unknown via Pinterest

04/25/2026

Grief has seasons.

Not the kind you can track on a calendar.
Not winter, spring, summer, fall.

But the seasons of the soul.

There’s the early season—the stormy one—where everything is loud and raw and sharp. Where tears come without warning, and the pain sits on your chest like a weight that won’t move.

Then comes the quiet season. The outside world seems normal, but you feel like a stranger in it. People think you’re okay again. But inside, it’s still gray. Still empty. Still aching.

There’s the angry season, too. The one where you're mad at everything and nothing. Where you snap, retreat, question everything, and silently scream at the unfairness of it all.

And the numb season—when it doesn’t hurt as much, but you also don’t feel much of anything. You float. You function. You wonder if this is healing or just surviving.

And maybe, eventually… the tender season arrives. Not a season without sadness, but one where the memories bring more warmth than sting. Where the love feels alive, even in the absence.

But here’s what they never told us:

These seasons don’t come in order.
They don’t stay for a set time.
They loop.
They repeat.
They collide.

One day you’re okay.
The next, you’re not.
And that’s not failure.
That’s grief.

Grief doesn’t follow the rules.
But it does follow love.
And love, real love, lasts forever.

So, if you’re in a hard season right now, hold on.
Another one will come.
Not easier… just different.
And eventually, you’ll learn to live in the rhythm of them all.

Written by: Aimee Suyko - In Their Footsteps

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04/21/2026

Feeling this today

Grief never lets me land anywhere for long. Sad, angry, exhausted, lonely, hurting… it feels like I’m somewhere in between them all. Somewhere that doesn’t have a name yet. Somewhere that changes by the hour and makes absolutely no sense to anyone who isn’t living it.

And the hardest part is being asked how I am when the honest answer takes too long and sounds too complicated and usually ends with me reassuring the other person that I’m fine, actually, don’t worry, I’m fine. When really I’m somewhere between fine and falling apart and I’ve been there for so long I’ve started to think this is just what I am now.
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03/21/2026

We are very pleased to bring you the Spring 2026 online issue of "We Need Not Walk Alone," courtesy of The Compassionate Friends! Visit our website to read the latest issue.