10/15/2026
💜 October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month 💜
There is something I wish more people understood about domestic violence.
You do not have to wait until someone physically hurts you to acknowledge that you are being abused.
Abuse doesn't always leave bruises. Sometimes it leaves fear, anxiety, confusion, shame, and a person who no longer recognizes themselves.
Being followed from room to room when you've asked for space.
Being screamed at, belittled, humiliated, intimidated, or threatened.
Having someone control your finances, monitor your whereabouts, isolate you from loved ones, or dictate your decisions.
Being pressured into sexual intimacy until giving in feels safer or easier than continuing to say no.
Being made to question your memories, your feelings, or your reality.
These are forms of abuse, coercion, manipulation, and control. And they deserve to be taken seriously.
Can we also change the way we respond when someone is experiencing domestic violence?
Instead of asking, "Why didn't they just leave?"
Let's begin asking better questions.
What happened the last time they tried to leave?
Did they have access to money, transportation, or somewhere safe to go?
Had they become financially dependent on their partner?
Had they been isolated from family, friends, and other sources of support?
What threats were being made behind closed doors?
Were there children involved whose safety and well-being weighed heavily on every decision?
What fears, barriers, or circumstances made leaving feel impossible?
Because leaving an abusive relationship isn't always as simple as walking out the door.
Sometimes it means trying to find housing, childcare, transportation, financial stability, and safety while living under tremendous fear and emotional stress.
Sometimes the nervous system is operating in survival mode. Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses can influence how someone reacts, makes decisions, and attempts to stay safe.
Survival doesn't always look the way we expect it to.
Someone can love their partner and still be afraid of them.
They can defend the person hurting them and still desperately need help.
They can leave, return, and leave again and still deserve compassion, dignity, and support.
They can recognize the abuse and still struggle to believe they deserve something different.
And please understand this:
A person's response to abuse does not excuse the abusive behavior.
No one has to be perfect to deserve safety.
Having an argument, raising your voice, making mistakes, or struggling emotionally does not give another person permission to intimidate, threaten, control, or harm you.
We don't have to understand every decision someone makes to care about their safety.
And when someone trusts us enough to share what is happening, we have an opportunity to make a difference.
Listen without judgment.
Believe them without demanding proof.
Ask what they need rather than telling them what they should do.
Offer practical support when it's safe to do so. A ride, help finding resources, a safe place for important documents, or simply sitting beside them while they make a difficult phone call.
Respect their privacy. Don't turn someone's pain into conversation or gossip. Their suffering is not a story for others to share.
And remember that pressuring someone to leave before they have a safety plan can sometimes increase the danger they face.
Our responsibility is not to control their next decision. It is to help them recognize that they are not alone and that support is available.
💜 And to the person reading this who quietly recognizes their own circumstances...
You do not have to explain your pain publicly for it to be real.
You do not have to have everything figured out before asking for help.
You do not have to minimize what is happening simply because someone else may have experienced something worse.
You are worthy of love that doesn't require you to live in fear.
You deserve relationships where your boundaries are respected, your voice matters, and your dignity is protected.
You deserve a home where you can breathe peacefully without listening for footsteps, anticipating someone's mood, or wondering what might happen next.
You deserve safety. You deserve support. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
And whether you are ready to leave, still trying to understand what is happening, or rebuilding your life after abuse, your story matters.
There is hope. There is help. And you do not have to walk through this alone. 💜
Ladies only Celebrate Recovery at Hope Tri-Cities every Monday night from 6pm to 7pm
700 Comstock Street-Richland ❤️
