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Fear-Fighting Thoughts, Rexburg, ID (2026)

11/03/2021

One semester, I had a past student (who became a friend) enroll in a subsequent upper-level class of mine. In the previous class, I saw him make remarkable progress in tackling a new subject and overcoming his fears.

After pondering some of the fear-fighting thoughts we discussed in the next class, he came to my office with a question.

“What do you do if some of your old fears start to come back?”

I was surprised by myself as I was able to give him four suggestions that came as inspiration in the moment. I don’t know if these will apply to everyone, but I think they were applicable to him (and me). I will share these four points as individual posts.

4/4 Life is “ridiculously unfair.”

What if the thing we fear actually happens? What if the one thing that is non-negotiable to us is something we suddenly have to give up? Do we have faith to not get what we want? Can we accept what might seem like a worst-case scenario? If we can accept God’s will and give up our will to Him, then a miraculous transformation can occur. The gaps will be filled and we will see how, in the end, it is actually “unfair in our favor.”

Jennie Taylor, whose husband (and mayor of North Ogden, Utah) Brent Taylor was killed in Afghanistan, explains:

"… Now in terms of this infuriating unfairness—another thing God has told me quite clearly is that the Plan of Salvation is ridiculously unfair. But when we get through it, we will find it is unfair in our favor, and that is one of my greatest takeaways. We pray for the miracle. We look for the miracle to cure cancer, we look for the miracle to stop the bullet, we look for the miracle to swerve at just the last moment and avoid the car accident, and all of us have stories where the miracle comes. We all know the time that we fasted and prayed for a child in our ward who was dying, and then they were miraculously cured, and we all know the time we slammed on the brakes and didn’t die, but almost could have. We have those stories.

"But I’m learning that some of the greatest miracles God sends are the miracles that come after the miracle we thought we needed didn’t come. The greatest miracle in my life is that I know Brent still exists. I know God can take this horrible mortal tragedy and work it into something beautiful beyond compare. I don’t always like that. I’ll admit, in the immediate hours after my husband died, my wonderful stake president — he’s such a wonderful man — gave me a blessing. He counsels with me still all the time, checks in on us, and he kept reminding me: “Your best days are ahead. Your best days are ahead, Sister Taylor” That’s the last answer I want. I want my best days with [Brent]. I don’t want my best days without him. I don’t want my best days with him not seeing that 1-year-old become a 20-year-old or a mother or whatever future things haven’t happened.

"And I think that’s where the Lord’s gentle love and guidance has helped me realize how wrong I am. My best days are ahead, and it won’t ever be without Brent Taylor. Not at all. There’s not a day I live without him, or I hope my children feel the same way. This infuriating unfairness is countered with the incredible compensatory blessings of heaven. I can’t understand them because I am mortal, but I have felt enough of a glimpse of them to know they are real.

"The Atonement of Jesus Christ is bigger than that unfairness. The love of God is bigger than that unfairness, his trove of blessings is bigger than every shortchanged experience we’ve had in this life.

"And so that doesn’t mean it’s never sad. That doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes sit in feeling very shortchanged or brokenhearted or even just devastated, but we can have faith in the fact that that infuriating unfairness will be turned to our favor. The blessings God sends will not be able to be measured. We’ll be able to see that He did not cause everything horrible in this life, but He’s promised everything in this life can work for our good: the good, the bad, our own stupidity and mistakes, the heartache someone else causes in our life, the bitterness, the betrayal, Heavenly Father has promised all of that can work together for our good if we’ll simply let Him help us see how.”

https://www.thechurchnews.com/podcast/2021-07-06/episode-38-jennie-taylor-infuriating-unfairness-revelation-patriotism-218764"

09/13/2021

#3/4...
One semester, I had a past student (who became a friend) enroll in a subsequent upper-level class of mine. In the previous class, I saw him make remarkable progress in tackling a new subject and overcoming his fears. After pondering some of the fear-fighting thoughts we discussed in the next class, he came to my office with a question. "What do you do if some of your old fears start to come back?"

I was surprised by myself as I was able to give him four suggestions that came as inspiration in the moment. I don't know if these will apply to everyone, but I think they were applicable to him (and me). I will share these four points as individual posts.

#3
What you FOCUS on, GROWS.

This point is very tightly coupled with the previous post, "Don't Feed the Bears." However, it applies to both sides of the coin. We can choose to focus on fears or on positive attributes, and either will grow as we do.

This is why gratitude is so powerful. This is why service to your fellow humans is so powerful. These are the paradoxes of life. As you move your focus away from your problems, they tend to shrink! As you focus on gratitude, love, and hope, they grow! Isn't that counterintuitive? It is, but it is a beautiful truth and a divinely crafted one. Anxiety tries to tell me I should focus all of my efforts and each waking moment on my problems, so I can make them go away. I'm here to say that has been debunked as a lie in my life. The more I feed the bears, the more they grow. Focus on good instead. Focus on others and find relief. Focus on gratitude. "Seeds of despair cannot take root in a grateful heart."

Please share if you think this post can help someone.

09/07/2021

#2/4…
One semester, I had a past student (who became a friend) enroll in a subsequent upper-level class of mine. In the previous class, I saw him make remarkable progress in tackling a new subject and overcoming his fears. After pondering some of the fear-fighting thoughts we discussed in the next class, he came to my office with a question. "What do you do if some of your old fears start to come back?"

I was surprised by myself as I was able to give him four suggestions that came as inspiration in the moment. I don't know if these will apply to everyone, but I think they were applicable to him (and me). I will share these four points as individual posts.

#2
Don't Feed the Bears!
(Give Your Fears NO HEED.)

When I was going through my most challenging battle with depression and anxiety, a dear friend and mentor pointed out something very valuable to me. He pointed out that although Jesus was faced with temptations, he "gave no heed unto them.” I will be clear that he wasn't suggesting that fears and temptations are the same. However, they are both intruders and unwanted. Just like a bear (this is my twist)…

When the bear of fear comes roaring at my side, it wants me to cower. It wants me to hide. Sometimes, I can't make the bear go away. But I can give it "no heed." It eventually gets bored and wanders off to the next campsite. Does this mean it is gone permanently? Nope. It may come roaring back the next day. I have found it a useful trick to acknowledge the presence of the bear, but not to feed it. We can choose to give our fears NO HEED.

Please share if you think this post can help someone.

09/03/2021

One semester, I had a past student (who became a friend) enroll in a subsequent upper-level class of mine. In the previous class, I saw him make remarkable progress in tackling a new subject and overcoming his fears. After pondering some of the fear-fighting thoughts we discussed in the next class, he came to my office with a question. "What do you do if some of your old fears start to come back?"

I was surprised by myself as I was able to give him four suggestions that came as inspiration in the moment. I don't know if these will apply to everyone, but I think they were applicable to him (and me). I will share these four points as individual posts.

#1
"As Thy Days May Demand, So Thy Succor Shall Be…"
Means we receive help as we need it. One day at a time. Not weeks, months, or years in advance. ASK for, LOOK for, ACCEPT, and be THANKFUL for the GRACE given THIS DAY.

Often, we wish for our challenges to be resolved completely and in advance. We want to be DONE with them. Unfortunately, the baggage of yesterday and the twists and turns of tomorrow remain. We don't get to see how all of our current and future needs will be met. But what we DO get is the gift of grace each day.

We just need to know where to look for it. We need to let it empower us. We need to choose to accept the daily gift and see how it changes us as we do. And as we string together many of these "todays," we can look back and see how grace worked in our favor. That we had the succor and help to make it through the tough times, one day at a time. This, in turn, gives us the hope that those daily gifts will continue to come. I don't know how and in what form. But they will be there. Every day. As they always have been.

Please share if you think this post can help someone.

03/12/2021

Someone told me recently that life is full of beautiful paradoxes. I think one of these paradoxes in my life has been the tendency to over-focus on my own fears and desire to control outcomes. I find that this pattern of hyperfocus always produces more stress and doubt. It is a cycle that can lead to obsessing over things, particularly when money is involved.

When we can let go and lay down those desires to be in control, peace returns. This, to me, is true meekness. It's okay to set down our demands. Sometimes, that's what my fears and doubts really are - demands. Things don't have to go according to our own plans for us to be happy. We can choose happiness and peace in the moment by laying down our demands and doubts and focusing on gratitude and loving those around us. This is a paradox. What you focus on grows. And focusing on myself makes my anxiety worse, not better.

(Lyrics in post from Nathan Pacheco )

01/07/2021

One thing I have told myself and my students: Your current, weakened state does not define you. Whatever you may be facing, whether it be from your own choices, the choices of others, or unfortunate circumstances… there is hope. Worries fade as perspective changes and you look toward where He sees you can be. It isn't about the scattered pieces all around you. It isn't about where you are now. It is about where you can be when you acknowledge Christ's sacrifice which allows you to put the pieces of your life back together with his help.

09/25/2020

Life's personal trials stretch far beyond the current COVID-19 pandemic. Enduring life's trials requires us to fill our personal storehouses with faith, trut...

09/02/2020

I'm just thinking about where my heart is at lately. This is not a political post, please try to read it generally. There has always been a war for our souls, and it is now playing out on a digital battlefield. Every choice, every click, every tap, has meaning in the battle. With these clicks and taps we can swing the mighty sword of truth and disarm the darkness as it closes in on us, or we can tap and click our way directly into the enemy’s territory and find ourselves surrounded by it, making escape very difficult. We can even innocently tap our way into the fields of distraction, as if catching butterflies within digital kingdoms, only to look up and find ourselves far away from the company of those we desire most to connect with and fight alongside with. We should pray that our use of technology will lead us to light and goodness. We should pray for discernment to see the difference. We pray, almost habitually, that we will drive home safely when operating vehicles. We should also be praying constantly that we can operate a much more significant vehicle safely… the vehicle of our smart phones and devices. I invite you to join me in praying that we can use our devices "safely" each day. These are my thoughts after reflecting on Randall L. Ridd’s address, ‘The Choice Generation.’

07/17/2020

This week, when discussing fighting fears with my classes, the topics of grace and trust came up. I then reflected on these lyrics. I love them because the imagery is beautiful and also familiar. I know what it feels like to think the bridges are burned down and things are beyond repair. Yet, nothing is ever beyond repair! It can all "be made new" through the grace of God. He loves to fix broken things (and people) and turn them around for the benefit of all.
We just need to trust that he is capable of this renovation. Someday, we will look back and marvel at how it all unfolded. I was so impressed with this quote one student shared in response:
"[Mortals] say of some temporal suffering, 'No future bliss can make up for it,' not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven. The Blessed will say, 'We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven.'" - C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce
Please share if you think this post can help someone.

05/25/2020

My family is facing one of those trials we all hope never to face. We now have another baby we will have to wait till the next life to hold, to know, and to cherish. I would like all to know that we HAVE felt the prayers and I am so thankful for them. This Memorial Day, our loss has been lightened, our hearts have been comforted by your prayers, and a spirit of peace has rested over our home. I have also found power in reflecting on these thoughts that I journaled… When I think of my level of trust in my covenants, I imagine Jesus asking me to consider if I really trust him. I imagine a scenario similar to his discussion with Peter, when he called him by name and asked three times, “Lovest thou me?” I imagine him calling me by name then asking, “Trustest Thou Me?”
I believe I would answer ”Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I trust thee.”
He might answer, “Then let go of your doubts.” And again call me by name and ask “Do you trust me?”
“Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I trust thee.”
And he might say, “Then let go of ALL of your fears.”
And then a final time calling my name lovingly and asking, “Trustest thou me?”
“Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I trust thee.”
Then I think he may lovingly and encouragingly reply,
“Then believe me when I covenant with you that I will do things beyond the wildest possibilities you could imagine to keep my promises to you.”
And then, like Enos, I hope I can say, “I knew it would be according to the covenant which he had made, wherefore my soul did rest.”
Please share if you think this post can help someone. God Bless!

05/15/2020

Henry Ford, one of the most successful innovators we’ve known, understood the balance between doing what was in his power and leaving the rest up to God. We need to know and accept that we cannot control life. However, it is a natural and primitive instinct to try to do so. I believe if we pray specifically to have discernment regarding this balance, it will be given.
Realizing that we can’t control outcomes will either open the door for fear or for grace. We get to choose which. When we realize we are not in control, we can let the spiraling worries and fears take over our minds and freeze us from action. Or, like Henry Ford, we can realize that not being in control can be comforting if we trust that the grace of God will fill our lives with what we need most. This is not to say things will be easy. But maybe we do not need easy. Whatever we need, whatever we should experience, the sum of these experiences will fill the cracks in our spirits and bring us to a higher level. I am thankful for this grace.
Please share if you think this post can help someone.

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