Remembering Maxwell T. Holden

12/18/2025

11/30/2025

Time Sensitive! This week, we have a critical opportunity to help save the lives of children with cancer.

On Monday, Dec. 1, the House of Representatives is scheduled to vote on the Mikaela Naylon Give Kids a Chance Act. Your voice can make all the difference.

This legislation is named in honor of Mikaela Naylon, a brave osteosarcoma warrior who traveled to Washington D.C. to advocate for this very bill just months before she passed away. Mikaela wanted to make a difference for other children fighting cancer, and now we have the chance to help fulfill her wish.

Here's how you can help:

Please take a moment to contact your House Representative and urge them to vote YES on the Mikaela Naylon Give Kids a Chance Act. It only takes a few seconds, and your message will show Congress that we stand with children with cancer.

Click here to write to your Representative now:

https://www.congressweb.com/KVC/14/

Let's honor Mikaela's legacy and give every child a fighting chance. Let's get this bill passed!

10/23/2025

Happy 9th Birthday Max! I never got into the “Forever 3”…. Too hard of a stop for me. I’ve never been able to fully accept it all… but we don’t have full control over life.

Lennox has been so excited for your birthday today, but he said he didn’t think you were coming 😰. He talks to you too, like we all do. He said he wanted to get you a fire truck.

Every fiber of my body hurts today knowing you’d be older and I can’t hug you. I woke up today just crying because it’s another year of a long life without you.

I took Cole to breakfast at one of your favorite places today and we had your favorite wings for dinner.

We sang Happy Birthday to you and we all ended up crying and couldn’t get through it. Poor Lennox doesn’t understand the weight of your absence yet.

I keep looking for signs, but you haven’t been sending them. It’s probably like I always say, maybe I can’t feel your presence because I’m consumed with your absence.

I love you. As Lennox passes milestones you never got to reach, it gets harder to understand.

09/08/2025

Children are supposed to have a future and be our future… then why do they not receive the best possible treatment options? Why are we not researching more to give our kids the best?!

In the first month or two of treatment, I remember being given paper of the drugs he was going to receive at that time. I always read the side effects because to me he was having a future and it mattered. This particular drug said he could suffer some hearing loss. This is not ok, but they said we had no other choice. This was protocol.

Max was 16 months and he was growing and learning. He was learning how to talk. We were not sure if he was just saying things the cute ways that toddlers would, or that he possibly couldn’t hear some of the sounds.

We got him tested and realized that he did have a mild hearing loss. So on top of everything else already going on, he needed hearing aids.

Max needed hearing aids because his treatments options have failed him.

We NEED to do better for our kids.

We once had a Dr in a very large children’s hospital tell us that we shouldn’t worry about side effects when we won’t know if he will have a future.  You can’t think that way. You can’t dream that way.

Our kids deserve more than 4%.

09/04/2025

09/01/2025

Today is September 1st.  September is Pediatric Cancer Awareness month. While everyone is getting their children off to school we are thinking that we should sending off a 5th grader, 3rd grader and a pre-k student this year.

 Cole always dreamed of walking his brother to class and picking him up at the end of the day - because that’s what big brothers do. He never got that chance with Max.

Pediatric cancer is so grossly underfunded. Some days it seems like it’s becoming more underfunded and so much research is being halted.

More research means more birthdays.

Below is a picture of Cole going to Pre-k the Fall after Max was diagnosed in 2018.

As always, if you want recommendations on the best places to donate to, just ask.

03/24/2025

5 years ago today I had the worst day of my life. 7 years ago this month, the nightmare started. Every year my body feels raw and even numb at times in March. Every cell of my body aches for the loss of Max. We’re supposed to be raising our children, not burying them.

I think of Max every day. Every day he is missed and I wonder how it would feel to hug him again. What would an 8 year old Max look and sound like?

We all feel the loss the size of a hole, that sucks us in at times. Cole misses his best friend that he would play with all day. He’s always wondering what they would do together. I always think of what wouldn’t they do together. They had the brotherly bond that I’ve never seen growing up. They truly were best friends.

We talk to Lennox all of the time about Max. I’m not sure what he can understand even though he is so incredibly smart. He knows Max is his brother, but sometimes he thinks pictures of Max are him. So does my iPhone. It’s constantly making videos of “Max” living past 2020, and it’s Lennox. I know to share this love, I have to share the pain.

It’s been 5 years and it doesn’t hurt any less. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, some loss is too great. March is a month of lingering headaches and feeling the electricity of every cell in my body.

I’ll never forget the series of events that happened that day. Or how fast it spiraled from having months of promised time to minutes. Of being completely out of control of my body when I had to say goodbye. There was no warmth left in your body and I knew our time together here had ran out. Everyone’s prayers fell on deaf ears.

I will always proudly say I have 3 children and will talk about you to anyone who will listen.

I love you Maxwell 💔

10/04/2024

Wow… just wow!

This book was something I wrote a bit ago because I felt there was void in the world of grief books. I wrote it from Cole’s perspective which was incredibly difficult.  I realized how hard it must be for him because he not only lost his brother, but he lost his best friend.

 Thank you so much to everyone who liked, commented, shared and purchased my book. Never did I think it would be considered a “Top New Release” on Amazon.

Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤️

10/02/2024

At the beginning of our grieving process we received many thoughtful books. Almost every book carried the belief that once we lose someone , they are gone until we reunite in Heaven. This just wasn’t our reality. Through mediums and our belief in afterlife, we knew Max was still here with us, just on another vibration. Cole being only 5 at the time was able to connect with his brother, almost daily. They shared moments, laughs and stories. Max told Cole things, there was no way he could make up.

The grief books didn’t match our reality. So I wrote my own.

Hoping we can make someone else feel normal of their bonds in the afterlife. Link in the comments.