11/23/2022
Here's something I'm really really really proud of and grateful for.
This May, when Rich and I came back from Hawaii, I knew that I wanted to run groups again. I was deeply heartsick from the pandemic isolation and definitely withered inside from seeing people mostly through a video screen or behind a mask for the last two years.
So, I restarted SpeakUP, my version of Authentic Relating games, which I created in 2015 in Dallas and had lead in Port Townsend until the pandemic began.
You could say that I attempted to come back. Not knowing if people would show up, but knowing as a matter of survival that I needed to breathe life back into my own soul, and trusting that others needed it, too.
Notably, when I had this notion, I did not know that I was pregnant.
The first SpeakUP happened on June 2nd. Almost 20 people showed up to sit in a circle and get present to the yearning and loneliness which we were all, just barely, emerging from as well as to share the enormous, uncontainable joy at gathering again.
It was a wild night. I was blown away by the intensity in the room, nearly shaking when I opened my mouth to lead after nearly two years of growing rusty. Even at the start of the evening, I was clear this must continue.
During July and August, I lead two more groups that were each well attended. My skills were coming back and my belly was also growing steadily. I knew that I had a limited window during which I could continue to help grow this fledgeling community.
So in the fall, I lead groups twice a month. But for the autumn series, I did it a little differently.
I invited community members to lead with me.
Each session, I worked closely with one of the other facilitators to help hone their offering and design a collaborative evening of connection games. In the end, four talented, brave and generous team members emerged.
Last week, at the final SpeakUP, we all lead together. They took the first half, I took the second. It was a rich, playful, flowing and delightful medley of offerings.
The evening ended with joy, laughter and a farewell for me as I head into the final weeks of this pregnancy.
But here's the awe inspiring news. SpeakUP isn't ending, just because I am leaving.
My hope all along in co-leading this fall was that the other group leaders would feel confident and motivated enough after leading with me to continue the groups on their own, though that was not a condition of the collaboration.
Turns out, it worked.
They are calling it, "SpeakUP Jams". The first one is already happening in less than two weeks, on December 1st. For the first time, I won't be there. But the community will.
This is a long time dream come true. To know that the spirit of my vision - to create a space where relationships are revered, where adults can practice relating in conscious, guided ways and where play abounds - came alive during this six month stint enough to light others on fire, too.
This is a testament to the efforts of many, not just my own. Thank you Kirsten Elfendahl, Evelyn Cilley, Larz Saquasohuh Man Hitchcock and Carol Anderson for all your energy, labor and love this season. It was a deep joy to learn with and through you and lift up your gifts. Thank you Erin Reading for your collaboration, fire tending, and generous sharing of your resources to give our group a home. We couldn't have done this without you. Thank you Emily & Mikula for arriving early and faithfully every time you could to set up the room and hold ground throughout the evening. And to community members too numerous to name, thank you for showing up, playing heartfully every time and making yourselves matter enough to take the risks we invited you into.
Baby is due in just over six weeks now. As I turn my attention to becoming their mama, the community mama in me is deeply gratified. I can't wait to rejoin connection groups some time next spring.
For those who are interested in hearing more about SpeakUP Jams, please post your name and email address below (or PM me if you prefer), and one of the group leaders will send you the info! All organizing for the jams is happening on Signal.
Wishing each of you the blessing of community, whether you create it or find it or both. May we each be flavored by the soup of connection as we head into winter and beyond.🍂🧡🍂
