10/14/2026
Regarding the lunatics at Sunset Locomotive Works who concealed eight plastic bags of farfalle inside a legitimate donation of archival boxes and shipped them 1,129 miles to our corporate office, apparently in response to our September 2nd post:
TOYX has always maintained that farfalle is an affront to pasta engineering. Its pinched center remains undercooked while its flimsy extremities disintegrate into a gelatinous catastrophe. It is a triumph of aesthetics over functionality and, frankly, an insult to generations of Italian culinary achievement.
Sunset has escalated our scientifically defensible criticism of farfalle's structural integrity and questionable legitimacy as a pasta shape into an unprecedented act of aggression. Evidently threatened by these indisputable truths, Sunset orchestrated a clandestine operation to infiltrate our offices with these abominations. This was a calculated act of pasta-based terrorism.
Therefore, effective immediately, TOYX hereby declares a formal STATE OF WAR against Sunset Locomotive Works and all accomplices, individuals, and organizations knowingly facilitating the promotion or distribution of farfalle.
Peace is possible only upon Sunset’s acceptance of these nonnegotiable terms:
1. Acknowledgment that farfalle is fundamentally defective.
2. A public apology for weaponizing archival supplies.
3. An end to carbohydrate-based aggression.
4. Reparations payable exclusively in structurally competent pasta.
Until then, TOYX reserves the right to retaliate through increasingly aggressive social media ridicule.
We urge the railroad preservation community to recognize the gravity of this moment. Today, farfalle was concealed among archival boxes. Tomorrow, fusilli may be hidden in locomotive parts, orzo could be infiltrating artifact collections, or pallets of penne might be masquerading as traction motor parts.
If this outrage goes unanswered, no railroad museum will ever again be safe from unsolicited pasta. We must band together to end this macaroni madness.
- Issued by the TOYX Office of Carbohydrate Command -
P.S. Thank you to Sunset for the acid-free archival boxes. They will be a tremendous help to our museum.