05/02/2026
May is Foster Care Awareness Month. This blog will hit close to the heart for current foster parents. If you have ever considered being a foster parent please feel free to message us privately and ask any questions that you have. We have loved this blog and we are happy to share our knowledge so you can make an educated decision to join the foster care community.
You don’t get to judge foster parents
when you’ve never held a child who won’t look at you
because every adult before you taught them that eyes aren’t safe places to land.
You don’t get to critique the way we parent
when you’ve never sat under fluorescent hospital lights at 2 a.m.
holding a child who cannot tell you where it hurts
while you beg someone, anyone, to listen
because there is no history, no file, no voice
just pain sitting in your lap.
You don’t get to say we’re in it for the money
when love has cost us more than any check could ever cover.
When we have stood in checkout lines doing the math in our heads
choosing between what is needed and what is necessary.
When we have given, and given, and given
until it wasn’t extra anymore
it was sacrifice.
You don’t get to say, “They chose this life”
like it is something light.
Like it is something easy.
Like it does not come with grief that sits in your chest and refuses to move.
Because you have never watched a child pack in silence
not because they are strong
but because they are used to leaving.
You have never stood in a courtroom
heart pounding, hands shaking
praying with everything in you that someone will finally choose that child
the way you already have.
You don’t get to roll your eyes at a wish list
when you have never opened your door to a child with nothing.
No bag. No blanket. No piece of “home.”
Just trauma and survival.
And somehow, you are expected to turn that into safety
overnight.
You don’t get to question the way we love across race
when you have never held a baby in a NICU
skin to skin
whispering life over a body that is fighting to stay.
When you have never been questioned in public
while that child clings to you
because to them
you are not a stranger
you are safety.
You have never felt the weight of eyes in a room
wondering how this love makes sense
when to you
it is the most natural thing in the world.
So no
you don’t get to speak on something you have never lived.
Because foster care is not a trend.
It is not charity.
It is not a feel good story you scroll past.
It is war.
It is bedtime stories whispered over children who flinch at soft voices.
It is therapy appointments stacked on top of school meetings
stacked on top of court dates
stacked on top of exhaustion.
It is loving children who do not know how to receive it
and choosing to stay anyway.
It is holding space for birth parents
while holding together the pieces of a child who is breaking.
It is saying yes
over and over and over again
even when the last yes shattered you.
So if you have never lived this
never loved a child who was not yours
and then let them go
never rebuilt your heart just to hand it out again
then do not pretend you understand.
What we need is not your opinion.
We need your prayers.
We need your kindness.
We need your meals on hard nights
and your messages that say, “I see you.”
We need people who will stand close enough
to feel the weight
even if they never carry it.
We did not say yes to be seen.
We said yes because they needed someone.
And we are still here.
Still showing up.
Still loving.
Still grieving.
Still fighting.
Still saying yes.
Not because it is easy.
But because they are worth it.
