07/25/2024
I wish to thank District 101 Toastmasters of Silicon Valley for inviting me to keynote their Leadership Institute last Saturday. Instead of offering one presentation I decided to go deeper with my audience and provide a second option.
In the morning I presented my "Banish Burnout: Move from Stress to Success" keynote. In the afternoon we gathered a unique group together to conduct a Deep Dive Banish Burnout Roundtable in which we unpacked the three key tools from the presentation:
We spent a lot of time talking about what to do when someone crosses your boundary.
📌 For example, one person runs a Dev Ops group (systems life cycle team) and she finds that people often come to her at 5:00 on Friday asking if she can install a major change over the weekend.
Hmm, that is so interesting to me for a number of reasons. But what we all agreed is “if it’s Friday at 5:00, the answer is no, unless it’s an emergency.”
📌 We also talked about the fact that there are those in our communities who may be neuro-divergent and cannot adequately understand our boundary. This can cause confusion and frustration. What we learned from this vignette was that when someone seems to be ignoring a boundary that has been clearly stated repeatedly, they may not be ABLE to absorb your need. We all learned to have grace and not assume the worst about someone who continues to frustrate you.
📌 Another issue that caused problems for one manager is her personal culture. She shared that in her culture one never says ‘no’ especially to family members. I, too was brought up this way. It took me and her many years to learn that not every request should be honored. Often there is someone else who can satisfy the request. We learned that ‘no’ is a complete sentence. We also learned that when someone says, “Sorry I can’t help you,” that is exactly what they mean.
📌 When it comes to bosses, how can we say ‘no’ to them? And when should we?
Well that depends. While we assume bosses know our workload, sometimes they have a lot on their plate. So when they come to you with an exciting new project, but you are overloaded, one possible answer is, “I simply do not have the bandwidth." Simple. Clear.
📌 Finally we learned from Improv Mistress Elaine Lung how the “YES AND” approach helps to overcome boundary issues.
What I am offering now to all of my clients is the opportunity to deeply engage with and absorb my teachings by experiencing a Deep Dive Roundtable.
Thank you to Bandanapudi, District Director, Garcia, Program Quality Director, and Wendy Fan, Club Growth Director.
