Labrys Empowerment Self Defense

04/16/2025

Today I’m thinking about Community and support. As ESD Instructors it’s still not uncommon for naysayers to dismiss, ridicule, and even shame us. This is happening to a friend and colleague of mine right now. This happens too to women who are considering taking self defense classes. It is often men that use these tactics and it’s very clear what this is about. It’s about fear, their fear. In many societies men enjoy a status and privilege that keeps them in a place of power. It’s the hallmark of patriarchy. When women seek to be on par with men in terms of rights or status, or to simply protect themselves from harm its seen as a challenge to male privilege and thus men become afraid and angry. They react with the above mentioned responses of dismissal, ridicule, and shaming. The goal is obvious, keep women subservient.

What is hard is that this can make us question ourselves. We feel uncertain, alone, and even ineffective. It can be difficult because it may force us to choose to let go of people and activities we treasure, but it also gives us opportunity for clarity on what is good for us and our understanding of respect and care for ourselves. This is where the community and support is so important. Finding those near and far that support and uplifts us.

01/18/2025

Empowerment Self Defense can help women and girls gain strength and aid in recognizing the red flags and behaviors that can later turn into abuse.

Consider that the people in our lives that we are the most intimate with; the ones that we love and whom have professed to love us are the most likely to abuse us and it’s usually male on female. There’s overwhelming evidence globally that men as a class engage in the majority of violent acts from intimate partner violence to the devastation of war.

It is estimated that of the 87,000 women who were intentionally killed in 2017 globally, more than half (58%) were killed by intimate partners or family members, meaning that 137 women across the world are killed by a member of their own family every day.

In a survey conducted across 27 universities in the United States in 2015, 23% of female undergraduate university students reported having experienced sexual assault or sexual misconduct. Rates of reporting to campus officials, law enforcement or others ranged from 5% to 28% depending on the specific type of behavior.

That’s probably made some of you men uncomfortable? Well, it makes women and girls more than uncomfortable, it makes us afraid. To quote Margaret Atwood, "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."

What accounts for this? Why do men abuse, sexually assault, and kill women?

Culture. I’m talking patriarchy. This dominant male behaviour is supported and rewarded. Po*******hy, human trafficking, sexual assault, domestic violence are all on the same spectrum. Patriarchal systems of governance have direct correlation to increased rates of violence for women and girls. Many countries right now are losing ground with backward trends on the overall rights of women.

So when men respond to these kinds of posts with “Not all men.” or “Men are abused too.” I challenge these assertions with true, and how do you move beyond your indignation and challenge other men to do better? How do you hold your fathers, brothers, and friends accountable? Because if at this point you shrug, then you are still enjoying the power, privilege, and entitlement patriarchy affords you as men, while the women around you are still living in fear. Patriarchy has favoured men with few allowances of women, but only if they conform and are obedient. Even when women restrict themselves to these social norms, there’s no guarantee of their safety, as the statistics suggest Violence against women has been rendered down to a non-issue or at least one that only deserves a passing attention. As women and yes, with some men we will continue to strive for equality and safety. As a whole, society would do well to consider the status of women and girls. It’s long past due to not just talk about the root of violence, but to turn our eyes upon the long standing pillars of patriarchy and envision a different way. I end this with a quote from From bell hooks for you to consider: "We have to constantly critique imperialist white supremacist patriarchal culture because it is normalized by mass media and rendered unproblematic."

The availability of data on violence against women and girls has improved considerably in recent years and data on the prevalence of intimate partner violence is now available for at least 161 countries. Please visit our research and data page to better understand how data is crucial to UN Women’s...

01/03/2025

I sometimes feel conflicted or more accurately, embattled teaching Empowerment Self Defense. One the one hand, it’s amazing to teach and be taught, to share the sense of awakening that happens. Good self-care and practical skills to preserve and thrive as oneself! Taking it outward to community...

One the other hand, WTF! That we must even resort to this! Our greatest risk might be from someone we know, never mind the ones we don’t.

Ok i just needed that little rant at the schism that makes it so that we even need self defense

I long for peace.

Onward...

01/02/2025

Let’s start with boundaries!

We all have them and how we assert them and how others respond to them is the beginning of cultivating healthy relationships, be it at work, school, or home. This is true for our professional, friendships, familial, and romantic connections.

In my experience, there are 4 types of boundaries

Material - your personal belongings, time, and services.

Physical - Your body, personal space,

Mental - your thoughts, values, opinions, and beliefs.

Emotional - Feelings, and moods.

It’s important to know where ours and other’s responsibilities lie.

I’ve been paying attention to boundaries, because through much of my life I’ve had so many challenges with them. I’ve learned my lessons around boundaries the hard way. I’ve made many mistakes and have at times caused pain to others and myself. In many ways, I wouldn’t change the lessons I’ve had to learn, but if a do-over was ever possible, I’d choose to learn a little easier.

However, there’s not often do-overs, so my best and bravest choice is to take those hard lessons and live fully with them. This means making amends wherever possible and embrace the lessons, strive to be my best self. This is thriving!

12/16/2024

10/20/2024

Join us for a free 2-hour Empowerment Self Defense Workshop

09/24/2024

Join us for our 13th year of being part of this event! Free and open to all.

07/19/2024

Boundary-setting is a key component of verbal self-defense, and verbal self-defense is a huge piece of the empowerment self-defense model.

Boundary-setting is an important piece of Empowerment Self-Defence (ESD) because it can help individuals avoid situations in which assault could occur.

Establishing clear boundaries is essential, whether you're dealing with unwelcome comments or unwanted physical contact. ESD empowers you to confidently define and protect your personal space.
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07/19/2024

Impact Boston is offering this very important class. Highly recommend for the young people getting out in the world to gain some skills.

Our Teen & Young Adult class is coming up Aug 3rd & 4th! This class is great for high schoolers who need a confidence boost, incoming or current college students or any young person embarking on a new adventure, and anyone aged 16-22 who identifies as a girl/woman, nonbinary, or LGBTQ who wants to learn self-defense skills.

Class is 12-6pm both days. Registration cost is $250. Full scholarships available.

This class only runs once a year, so register now! Go to https://impactboston.org/in-person-classes/ to register or contact [email protected] for more info.



{IMAGE: A flier for the class. Background is black, text is neon pink, purple, and white. Text says: “Teen & Young Adult IMPACT self-defense. An empowerment self-defense course for girls, women, nonbinary & LGBTQ youth ages 16-22. August 3 & 4 12-6pm each day. Students learn: how to use their voices to prevent violence & coercion, how to identify red flags in relationships, physical skills for dangerous situations, how powerful they are, & much more.” A photo at the bottom left shows a student setting up for a kick against the suited instructor on the ground, with the lead instructor in the background. At the bottom right the flier says www.impactboston.org}

05/30/2024

If you are interested in learning about Empowerment Self Defense and how it can improve our relationships with others, here’s a 3-part workshop series I’m offering. Time is of the essence though. This workshop needs 3 more people!

https://www.berkshirecc.edu/academics/community-education-and-workforce-development/workshops/self-defense.php

Healthy Boundaries: What are they? How do we set them? How do we keep them? The key to healthy relationships is healthy boundaries. In this interactive three-part series, we’ll learn some key strategies and exercises utilizing the Empowerment Self Defense Model.

June 8 – 22, 2024, Saturday, 11 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.
BCC Paterson Field House
$45

Learn how to avoid danger and de-escalate conflict; increase confidence in social and economic systems; build physical defense skills; and address violence that is most likely to occur in individual settings.

05/03/2024

A few things that people (fellas) seem to not understand about the bear vs man thing:

1. The scenario is, a woman is walking through the woods hiking alone.

Whilst hiking, would they rather come across a bear or a strange man?

The question is not:

Who would you rather get in a fight with?

It is not “A man you know vs a bear you don’t.”

They are not being asked to hug or provoke the bear or man.

They are just walking, in the woods, and come across either a bear or a random dude they do not know.

And most of the women in these comments, as well as the ones we have talked to, plenty of whom have gone hiking alone and who have come across both bears and men whilst doing so, choose the bear as a preference to run into.

Because the threat of the bear is a known quantity and thus a much more controllable one. A bear is more likely to just keep foraging and move on its way than outright attack you, unless under very specific circumstances.

The man is not a known quantity and whether he openly displays aggression or not, a woman cannot know for certain what his intentions are.

04/30/2024

This is for all the men who are big mad that women are saying they’d rather encounter a bear in the woods than a man.

For all the man screaming “this isn’t fair, it’s not all men!”

For all the men who are Stubbornly. Not. Getting. It.

First, we don’t care that it’s not fair. Second, you men are the whole reason this conversation exists. YOU made this problem. YOU.

🐻 A bear won’t hit you in the face with a brick if you won’t give it your phone number.

🐻 A bear won’t stalk you if it told you you’re pretty and you said you weren’t interested.

🐻 A bear won’t pretend to be kind to get you to lower your guard.

🐻 A bear won’t lock you in a basement for months to torture you.

🐻 A bear generally won’t bother you if you’re not bothering it.

🐻 If you encounter a bear, it will almost always retreat slowly because it means you no harm.

🐻 If you do get attacked by a bear and you say so, people will believe you.

🐻 No one will ask you what you were wearing that made the bear attack you.

🐻 No one will ask you how much you had to drink.

🐻 No one will ask you what you were thinking, being in the woods.

🐻 No one will ask you if you even tried to fight back.

🐻 No one will ask you if you led the bear to believe you wanted to be attacked.

🐻 No one will condemn you for not fighting back harder.

🐻 No one will arrest you for harming the bear.

🐻 No one will say you deserved the attack.

🐻 No one will ask how many bears you allowed to attack you before.

🐻 The bear won’t say you were asking for it.

🐻 The bear won’t say it was consensual.

🐻 The bear won’t try to convince everyone you’re lying.

🐻 The bear won’t get his buddies to maul you too.

🐻 The bear won’t threaten you to get you to keep the attack a secret.

🐻 The bear won’t show up at family reunions.

🐻 If you survive a bear attack, you don’t have to worry that the bear might be good friends with medical staff or the police.

🐻 You won’t have to hear that you’re making it all up to get attention.

🐻 You won’t have your reputation called into question.

🐻 You won’t get called a slut.

🐻 People won’t tell you you’re paranoid for being cautious around bears.

🐻 People won’t tell you that not all bears are dangerous.

🐻 If a bear attacks you, you won’t be told it wouldn’t be fair to ruin the bear’s future by bringing it up.

🐻 You won’t be told the bear is from a nice family and they don’t deserve the humiliation of an arrest.

🐻 IF A BEAR ATTACKS YOU, WE KILL THE BEAR SO IT DOESN’T HARM ANYONE ELSE.

👤👤👤👤👤👤👤👤👤👤👤👤👤👤

If you still don’t get it, consider this:

Many women in the woods carry bear spray…

…AND IT’S NOT BECAUSE OF BEARS.

And finally, ask yourself this: If you hear human footsteps near you in the woods, are you hoping it’s a man or a woman? Pretty much EVERY woman would be praying it’s a woman.

In 2020-2022, bears killed a whopping 8 people in North America. Even if all 8 were women, that’s not even close to the approximately 12,000 women who were killed by men in that time period.

Bears = 8
Men = 12,000

It’s a real head scratcher guys.

It’s a YOU problem.