01/26/2017
Ok
The 1st time I registered for the ALC ride was a few months after my partner Nicolas died. I needed to do something crazy and insane to make me feel alive and ok about life and have a reason to live.
The 2nd time I registered I was in the 'love bubble' and it's just what you do. Biker brain induced insanity. If you've done the ride you know what I'm talking about. If you've ridden any long ride you know what I'm talking about. You just say yes because you don't know how to process no when someone tells you to say yes and then later you say WTF did I just do but then you recover and you just do it again because hey, it couldn't really have been THAT bad could it????
The 3rd time I registered was because all my friends were riding (or I thought they were.... you know who you were you drop-outs...) I didn't want to be left here alone in Palm Springs while everyone else was riding so I signed up and it really wasn't that bad. It was actually kinda fun... for about 5 days....
The 4th time I registered was because I was riding my bike all the time and I was just in love with riding and since my bike is my sanity I thought hey, this will be fun. I'm in shape now and I'm not gonna hurt like hell after day 5 now and even though none of my 'friends' are doing it and I'm doing it 'alone' it's gonna be ok. I ride alone most of the time anyway..... then it turns out I 'met' (ok so I didn't really MEET them on the ride but got to know them) some of my best friends now that week and had the best ride ever, so good I even rode my bike 30 miles the day after I got home from riding 545 miles just because I wanted to.
I said I wasn't gonna do it again.
I've been doing other rides. Cancer rides, Diabetes rides, Long 2 day rides just because there was 2 beers and a 'party' at the end....
Then..... Trump happened.
All this happened.
I feel like my world has been turned upside down.
Like everything you thought could never happen has happened and I'm angry all the time and I just can't stop being angry because then I will just spiral into depression because it's all so fu**ed up.
So here I am even though I swore I wasn't gonna do it again and even though I have only 129 days left to train and I haven't ridden my bike in months..... here I am again.
Signing up for the 5th time because I have to do something radical again. Doing the only thing I know how to do.... riding for Justice, Equality, Freedom, TRUTH.
I have to do something GOOD.
I have to get my mind in gear to FIGHT this fight.
I have to BE THE CHANGE I want to see.
I have to cleanse my soul.
I can IMAGINE.
Rider #4680