UNITE, Inc.

10/05/2024

01/28/2024

01/07/2024

01/01/2024

Wishing you a gentle and peaceful start to 2024 and remembering your babies each and every year 🤎🌟

12/31/2023

You never leave them behind ❤️

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12/28/2023

“Would you like to hold her?” The doctor asked me after my daughter was stillborn.

Not ready to see who she was meant to be, but never would, I looked away the moment her 8 pound 12 oz lifeless body was placed on my chest. Skin to skin we touched for the first time from the outside when her scent of metallic blood mixed with baby powder found me. I’d waited for this moment for months, not ever imagining it would be like this. Afraid to look down and see that the baby I held in a cream colored blanket in the nook of my arm was a co**se. For I still held onto a dissociated hope that the doctors were wrong. She did not die inside of me. Her heart was still boldy beating I wanted to believe. The machinery, not her form, had failed.

Breathless. I didn’t think I could ever breathe again, but then my lungs filled with air while hers remained empty. This is not how it was supposed to be. I repeated over and over again in my mind. Squinting my already shut eyes tighter together I inhaled deeply one more time before summing the courage to turn my gaze towards her.

Don’t look, you’ll never be able to go back. I heard myself scream inside my mind. But on my exhale I opened my eyes and everything else faded away. I could no longer hear the blood pressure machine beeping or feel the doctor stitching me up. I didn’t mind that my skin was soaked with sweat and drenched in the dampness of bodily fluids. I could no longer smell the stench of antiseptic mixed with my blood that had spewed all over the floor or notice that my husband had stepped away from the hospital bed with his hand held over his mouth as tears streamed down his face.

All I could see was her.

In the place where seconds ago I could not look, I then found myself unable to not look away. Suddenly, mesmerized by my daughter I was so afraid to see. She was a beautiful baby, with long brown eyelashes and big dark black lips. I would never know the sound of her coo or the color of her eyes as they would never open and I couldn't bear to peek because I wanted to remember her like this. For even in death, she was stunning.

Never had I experienced love like this and I could feel it slipping away.

Wanting with everything in my being to pretend that her paleness just looked like Snow White and she was just asleep like Sleeping Beauty. But the kiss I placed on her stony forehead would not make her wake. Every passing second her body without breath became more tepid to my touch. But at that beautifully cruel moment, I did not notice. Because all I could see was her brilliance.

12/25/2023

Christmas is here. The season of joy and remembering the one who is not here and incorporating him in any way that we can.

12/25/2023

Wishing all those that celebrate a very peaceful and gentle Christmas. Remembering your babies today and everyday. ❤️

12/24/2023

Children have always been the centre of Christmas and when you are longing for a child, Christmas can be one of the most heart breaking times of the year. Imagine this... A 9-month walk of hope and longing. At the end of the journey an empty crib.