06/04/2026
Last fall, Randy and I planted tulip bulbs with the goal to allow them to multiply and dig them up after the foliage had died back , and replant in the fall. When they bloomed in April and early May…I wasn’t sure I would mess with them. Not only because it felt overwhelming, but also because putting my hands in the same soil we had touched together felt heavy.
Last year, I had spent time learning about growing tulips and allowing the bulbs to multiply. Prior I had been doing it incorrectly and I was always disappointed in the spring when they didn’t return as I had hoped.
Like grief, tulips require timing and patience. With tulips, if you dig up the bulbs too soon, the energy from the foliage is lost and the bulbs won’t generate new flowers. But if you don’t dig them up once the foliage has died back, you risk the bulbs rotting in the soil.
Grief definitely requires lots of patience. Moving through it too quickly it can manifest into insomnia and fatigue. It can affect your relationships with others and cause depression. However prolonged intense grief can lead to heart problems, weakened immune function, sleep disturbances, fatigue, headaches, digestive issues, and even accelerated cognitive decline.
Like tulip bulbs, grief requires careful attention. It can’t be ignored . It can’t be rushed. But also, not finding joy again in your life comes with a host of other problems.
I’m finding putting my hands in soil, being outdoors, and tending to tulip bulbs and other plants very healing. I scream in frustration, smile in my accomplishments , and often cry in the solitude. While I’m growing in my knowledge of gardening, I’m also growing in processing my grief. Summer is bringing its challenges. But I’m working through it with each passing day.
