Zippy Battles Stage 4 Cancer

Zippy Battles Stage 4 Cancer I have been in a battle with Stage 4 Cervical Cancer and want to share my journey.

03/18/2026

Growing up my whole life-- it was always full of people who believed and insisted that they would not have been one of the people who were involved in the holocaust, that they would be one of the people who hid Jews. But things have absolutely changed now-- were people are PROUD to be exactly at the place of Germans in the 1930's which led to the holocaust. The thing is-- Jews are really just, "a symptom." The problem is THE HEART OF MAN, and right now-- human's just LOVE EVIL. I see this when I am dealing with people, that Jews are not the core issue or problem. The problem is that they do not feel shame. The people I grew up with felt shame and wanted to prove to themselves that they wouldn't have been one of the people who handed over Jews. They cared about the status of their own soul-- the feared being a monster. These people don't fear being monsters, infact they are proud of it. They are proud to be total liars. They are proud to be driven by sadistic lust. They enjoy and get satisfaction out of harming and hurting others. Not just Jews, but you see them depriving such total pleasure out of hurting Erika Kirk. Where as a normal person just looks at it and is ashamed, dissappointed, embarrassed to see humanity behaving like this and ask, "why would anyone attack a widow?"... "what do you get out of such a thing?" Likewise, with Jews. You see Tucker in his everyday OBSESSION with Jews and you say, "Why doesn't he just go practice his own religion and apply the bible to his own life?" They actually derive pleasure from hurting and injuring the innocent. It is the same with demons. They were once Angels. Now they are just creatures that need to destroy. But how does humanity reach this point? It happened with the Germans and it is happening with Americans. They are not the same Americans of the past generations at all. I don't know exactly, but they tend to be "rallied up" by people like Hi**er, Candace, Tucker. They have been "rallied up" against the Jews and they have been "rallied up" against Erika Kirk. And History is full of such "witch hunts" which always have a "rallier." Of course, they couldn't be "rallied" if there was not already something wrong with the status of their heart.

Judaism is not really a religion that is big on, "Hell." This is partially because it is just not mentioned through the ...
03/18/2026

Judaism is not really a religion that is big on, "Hell." This is partially because it is just not mentioned through the Tanakh at all-- heaven or hell, as being a "thing" at all. And the other reason, is because Christianity is obsessed with it and basically condemns everyone to eternal suffering and torture, which is extreme. BUT then on the OTHER HAND-- when you see people like HI**ER and THE SUPREME LEADER who use their whole lives for SUCH EXTREME EVIL-- and MASS murder, torture, and oppression of humans, how can there not be a hell for such people. Candance Owens and Tucker too, there has got to be special place in hell for these people, that just use their lives for such evil and for the harm of so many people. There has got to be JUSTICE and ACCOUNTABILITY.

"Victim Card" is a way to silence people. The reason the holocaust is talked about is because the acts committed were so...
03/18/2026

"Victim Card" is a way to silence people. The reason the holocaust is talked about is because the acts committed were so horrific, that "talking about it" was a way of preventing it from ever happening again. They try to silence people and nullify the holocaust, so that they can have a reason and a pathway to DO IT AGAIN. They are driven by Sa**sm and Bloodthirst and, of course, the desire to eliminate the Jew. Why do they want to eliminate the Jew? Because they hate Prophecy-- they hate how the Story Ends. They don't want a world ruled by the Messiah who rules with Righteousness and Justice. They are in love with Evil. They don't want the reign of evil men to end. These are people who support murderous leaders, literally, like Maduro and The Supreme Leader and HAMAS-- people who mass murder and mass oppress humanity. You have to remember that even Hi**er was literally LOVED AND ADORED. The same people listen to Candace and Tucker who are literally, "possessed" and have other entities living in them-- Yes, people literally LOVE the voice of demons. It was the same with Hi**er-- people were absolutely captivated and smitten by Him. And he was possessed too. He went from being this completely shy, socially akward, person of no talents, and having no friends... to having this completely mesmerizing voice and gift for speaking-- totally possessed. And it's actually amazing how smitten people are with demons. It's an interesting thing about human nature.

Mayim La Mayim. Working on my Bucket List- writing the whole Tanakh. Sometimes I don’t understand the vowels. Why does t...
03/18/2026

Mayim La Mayim. Working on my Bucket List- writing the whole Tanakh. Sometimes I don’t understand the vowels. Why does there need to be three vowels for the sound “ah” and three for the sound “eh.” I have trouble remembering the vowels. I remember them while I’m working with them.. but if I walk away.. they leave my mind.

Well, I woke up feeling terrible today, so forgive me for not posting a picture of myself. I look terrible also. And sad...
03/18/2026

Well, I woke up feeling terrible today, so forgive me for not posting a picture of myself. I look terrible also. And sadly, its very terrifying for me to, "not feel good" because I become terrified that something bad is wrong. I live a scary life. Anyways, my daughter came over for 4 hours and it was a JOY and full SIMCHA to talk to her. We talked about how we are grateful to be girls, because how do you live with "extra body parts" hanging off of you? How do you not get your parts squished all the time? I couldn't cope with all of that. Plus my daughter said, "the life of a man is just too hard." Even is Judaism the men have to do so many prayers and just so much responsibility. It seems way too hard. For girls, everything is just optional. You can just pray when you feel like it and all the other things.

We also talked about how there is nothing else in the whole entire world like antisemetism-- where people just become completely obsessed to where its all they think about 24/7 and it becomes their whole entire existence. But it was strange, but when my daughter was a child, around 9 years old, the adults in the neighborhood did the same thing to my daughter-- they became absolutely totally obsessed with her-- just like what you see happening to the Jews. We talked about this and "how do you do that to a child." It all started because the adults in the neighborhood told her to put on pants when it was a little cold out and she said, "no." And when they knocked on my door I explained to them that I don't want my daughter, "listening to adults." I mean an adult could tell my daughter, "come to my bedroom so I can mo**st you." Why would I want my daughter listening to adults? I specifically trained my children NOT TO LISTEN TO ADULTS. Most ADULTS ARE BAD PEOPLE. Well, anyways, all of this made the neighbors absolutely and totally obsessed with my child. If she wanted to go to her friends house she had to walk totally around the backside of the apartment complex. Anyways, I have never seen anything like the obsession that antisemites have for Jews, except for what happened to my daughter. And still we ask, "how do you do that to A CHILD?" I mean becoming obsessed with a child like that and totally out to destroy a child. Because she wouldn't take orders from you to put on pants? Who does that?

We also talked about my other daughter who had a terminal illness and how so many people (adults) bullied her. Since I have had cancer I have never ever had anyone be cruel to me, although I kind of always am holding my breath with fear that it is "waiting around the corner for me," BUT IT WAS A DIFFERENT STORY WITH MY DAUGHTER WHO HAD A TERMINAL ILLNESS--- AND MANY, MANY PEOPLE VERY CRUELY ATTACKED HER.

My daughter told me to night so emphatically-- " I will NEVER, EVER, ATTACK a terminally ill child or a disabled child-- EVER!!" And it made me happy, because as you know, I worry about her having empathy and compassion, but she is and has always been VERY OUT FOR THE UNDERDOG!!! That comforts my heart. She was telling me something about Justice-- how she is just so Justice Driven. I always called her, "justice bound." She's always had a very strong since of Justice.

Like I said, I always kinda hold my breath, just because of the things that were done to my daughter. But I just have never every had anyone attack me for having cancer. But part of me always fears it because of the cruel things done to my daughter. In the end, when she died, she had lost her faith in humanity, and I really hate that because you could just see that it changed her and broke her heart-- for adults to do that to her.

We also talked about how every single person who attacked my terminally ill child-- ended up getting sick themselves and most of them died. That was the Justice of G-d. Because at one time I was COMPLETELY EATEN ALIVE BY THE NEED FOR JUSTICE-- IT JUST CONSUMED ME. And then G-d did actually give it to me-- and it did take that extreme intense need for Justice-- out of me-- and calmed my heart. There is just nothing in the world like having people attack your child and then to do it to a terminally ill child.

Which also makes me think of Erika Kirk and what they are doing to her-- just SO EVIL, and exactly why G-d hates more than anything-- attacking the widows and fatherless, because they are "unprotected" and they would never attack her if her husband was alive. I was reading the comments on Matt Walshes recent post, where thank G-d, He has the Character and Integrity to call out these attacks. Most of the comments were nasty and justifying the attacks, BUT there were a few people who said how they were so ashamed of humanity. How it was like a witch hunt. And how amazing that you think these "witch hunts" are like this 1500's type thing by some ignorant, backwards, pagans. And you like to think society is, "civilized" but it's not. People just revert right back to these really, very SICK and EVIL, "witch hunts" of the 1500's. Well, I will never ever, respect anyone who listens to Candace just for this reason. It would never have happened if not for Candace-- and this is exactly what Narcissist do-- they rile up a witch hunt and send their, "flying monkeys" after people. But regardless, people are responsible. My most beloved writer, Rod Serling, captured this "aspect" of "human nature" in his episodes of The Twilight Zone. Sadly human's are prone for this kind of thing. It makes you so disappointed and embarrassed for humanity though. And, of course, Jews have been the targets of many-ah-witch hunt through History. BUT it sure puts on a demonstration for G-D, where He can clearly see the FEW who stand against such evil and unrighteousness. They are always a minority. BUT I think G-D, needs things like this--- to REALLY SEE WHO IS WHO. In this life you can really only see who people are THROUGH ACTIONS. Even with all the attacks on Jews-- there are few that stand up against it. There are also people who DON'T TAKE PART in the attacks on Jews-- but they also just do absolutely nothing. And I imagine it was the same during the holocaust. People that just turned a blind eye and did nothing. It is better than being involved in the attacks and everything else, but still they will never put themselves on the line, so its cowardly. Even now when there are not any serious consequences for standing up-- people just don't. Maybe they care more about their reputation or business or whatever small things there are in life. BUT I ALWAYS THINK IT MUST BE AN INTERESTING SHOW TO WATCH FROM HEAVEN. It certainly separates people out like nothing else could. And in Ezekial G-d has the Angel go through and put marks on the foreheads of those who, "sigh and cry over the evil done in their midst." So I know G-d still does that- marks the foreheads, even if its not physically. But anyways, this is why we are alive on earth-- so G-d can see "who is who" and the horrible things of life and even atrocities-- force the hand-- to see what people are made of. Which is why G-d allows them.

The other things me and my daughter talked about-- was how when I beat cancer the first time-- I bought myself this HUGE CACTUS-- and I had planned it like, "If I beat cancer.. I am going to buy myself this huge CACTUS as a reward." So she things I should do that with, "Getting a dog." Try to get better first and then reward myself, so I have motivation. Actually, I had this dog named Abraham that was a Border Collie-- and I was so in love with him. I would love to have a Border Collie-- but I feel like I just cant handle a large dog right now in my condition. So that is why I was going to get a Chihuahua-- its something I could definitely handle in my condition, right now.

Well everytime she brings the dog-- I completely fall into complete LOVE, SIMCHA, JOY, TOTAL HAPPINESS. And its difficult for me to be alone all the time, so having a dog would be nice. But they cost $2,000 dollars. I also alternate between wanting a tiny dog that I could handle and ....... wanting a dog breed that I could actually train as a Medical Dog-- usually dogs that are highly intelligence. Of course, Border Collies are the most intelligent of all dogs. And I can get a pure bread for around $700. But then part of me also wants to breed dogs-- to have extra income-- which some people look down upon, but I am in a very precarious situation where I just don't have a lot of avenues where I can make income, just due to being so sick and disabled. It is just a very tough situation. Well, I don't see anything wrong with being a reputable and responsible breeder. But, of course, some people look down upon it and will start giving you hell. My daughter is one of them that is set against it and we got in a fight over it. She says if I get a chihuahua she wont let me use her dog as a stud.

Sorry, I know people don't want to read all of my BLA BLA BLA, but it helps me alot to write. So thanks for putting up with me.
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To help with my cancer journey and save my life.
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RE: LOST IN MY READING ADDICTION/BOOK OBSESSIONI had to blurr my peachFUZZ out of this picture because I ran out of CHAT...
03/16/2026

RE: LOST IN MY READING ADDICTION/BOOK OBSESSION

I had to blurr my peachFUZZ out of this picture because I ran out of CHATgpt hours with the free version. It showed up in this pic bad. s Well anyways, so completely in love with baby. I want a dog so bad, but so happy when he visits.

ON ANOTHER NOTE--- I have developed an obsession with READING and have finished 4 books in the last 3 days: Man's Search for Meaning--Viktor Frankl, The Happiest Man on Earth; the Testimony of an Auschwitz Survivor by Eddie Jaku, Incident in Vichy-- Arthur Miller, After the Fall-- Arthur Miller. When I was a kid my dad was always talking about Arthur Miller plays. So I have become captivated and have spent hours discussing these books with CHATgpt. I could never have a friend like this in real life. Neither one that would want to talk to me for hours about books nor one that could blow my mind with this level of insight into the book. Arthur Miller hugely incorporates the Holocaust into his books. ChatGPT tells me it was almost impossible not to at this time-- because the whole world was forced into this REALIZATION of what human's were capable of. People had never seen anything like this before. And furthermore, it was believed at the time that society was at it's highest level of, "Civilization" and that Germany was maybe the ultimate place of Civilization. I mean Jews were truly PROUD to be from Germany and truly believed they were in the midst of the highest level of Civilization that had ever existed and they were grateful for this. Well 80 years later, this have changed, and people are desensitized to Atrocity and thirsty to maybe do a worse atrocity. I hate to say that, but many are. But anyways, at the time it was extremely shocking and so much is literature is full of -- facing the idea of "what humans are capable of" and all these moral questions. Which made it a great time period for literature.

So I was completely blown away with Incident in Vichy-- it was about a group of guys brought into the police station who are full of extreme anixety as to why they were brought in and hoping it was just to validate their papers, but what it ends up being in the end, is they are looking for Jews and putting them on trains. So it explores all these things from the vantage point of living at the time when it was not even known if these rumors were true. In the very end this very wealthy man who rejected Na**sm, ends up handing his white slip to escape to the last Jew in the room, to show he was more than being, "just about talk" and he takes action to save the last Jew. When really what was happening was that indeed they were catching Jews-- questioning them and asking to see their P***s, to put them on the trains. Very moving story-- the last part.

Before the Fall, is patterned after Arthor Millers experience with Marilyn Monroe, and has deep psychological implications to explore. The character, a s*x symbol captures the main Character with her innocence, child-like, vulnerability and they way she looks at him as a god, a hero. He is obsessed with the idea of being truthful and honest, but after they are married, her honesty becomes a burden and emotional exhaustion. She is full of emotional immaturity, and emotional outbreaks and meltdowns. And he is no real hero. He doesn't have the ability to step up and do heroic things that she expects, so she just criticizes him and he tries to comply to get back to the relationship that they had. But it also incorporates the holocaust and trying to understand if it was autrocity or just the ultimate honesty. But in the end the reality is that truth without empathy is just cruelty. Even in his relationship were he tries to push for truth and them always being honest with eachother, it turns out that her telling the truth, is just criticizing him, so the truth that he asked for becomes a burden. but it shows how emotionally shut down people are attracted to emotionally liberal people and vise versa... and the old addage about "damsel in distress" and "night in shining armor" that creates attraction, degenerates into maybe just a girl who has extreme emotional problems and a man who wants praise for being a god or hero, over facing the realities of life. But, like I said, the ultimate take away was that TRUTH with no EMPATHY... is just cruelty, such as the case of the holocaust (to some degree) and as with his own relationship. Well, there are lots of people who declare themselves to be vessels of TRUTH like Candance Owens, and people follow them and go down "the rabbit hole" thinking they are on some mission to obtain the "real truth" but without empathy, any kind of truth is really just cruelty and evil. Ultimately, it's not even real truth since its all about conspiracy, but there is, of course, some elements of truth. And they say the best way to manipulate people is with, "half-truths." That is why I said the Holocaust had some elements of truth, "half-truths" that obviously appealed to the masses. But ultimately any level of truths, without empathy, is just cruelty in the end.

The first book Incident in Vichy, the rich aristocrat is hated by the N***s, because any kind of class insults them because they are vulguar. But he talks about how the world sees Hi**er as beautiful and he watched all the people in his life fall in love with Hi**er and think he was beautiful. That is something my mind can't understand, but I am fascinated to try to understand it from the stand point of that time period when it happened. It is so hard to understand, "what was the appeal." But anyways, this aristocrat escapes Germany knowing they envy him and will want to destroy him. He is always trying to show his love for the Jewish people in words. But in his last conversation with the last Jew standing, he realizes once he is taken in to be questioned, that his words are not enough, and he gives the white slip to the last Jew to escape and save his life. So that was a beautiful ending. Because the last Jew standing believes that all Gentiles secretly hate Jews. So he also needs to see ACTION. And the very ending of the book another set of people (Jews) is brought in and the process starts all over again -- the process of anxiety, wondering why they are there, and all the conversations that just happened with the first batch of people. Showing that the first group was just a drop in the bucket and there would ultimatey be millions of Jews who would go through all of this. Actually a clever double ending.

WELL continuing on my BUCKET LIST-- to read all the classics. And CHATGPT gave me a link to gutenberg.org WHERE I can get them all for free-- digitally.

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03/16/2026

This holocaust survivor was saying was saying when confronted with Holocaust denials she says, “yes and Hiroshima didn’t exist, WW2 didn’t exist.. etc.” and that she is not going to degrade herself by pulling out her arm and showing her number. Because the holocaust is one of the most well documented events in history. The US set out to document it from day one of finding out what happened at the camps— just for that very reason. But anyways she was saying there is no point in even talking to these types that deny the massive amounts of evidence— pictures, videos, N**i spread sheets, camps, and thousands upon thousands of testimonies from both sides. They are a special kind of people who chose lies and hate over facts and massive evidence. Which means they have a moral compass of zero or below. Even the N***s themselves went on trial and bore testimony and were hanged. In this movie Nuremberg, that just came out on Netflix, Herman Goring initially tries to plead that he had no idea what was going on in the camps, even though he was the head of them, but in the end when asked if he would reject what was done to Jews and and take a different course, he said, “no” and held out his hand in salute and said, “hail Hi**er.” Always, deniers alternate between denying and expressing approval for the pathway. The irony is that the only reason they deny, is to escape the guilt and they only reason they want to escape the guilt is so they want to do it again (because they want to finish the Final Solution). So on the one hand they are denying and the other they are pushing the same slander and conspiracy that started it all. Eventually they proudly declare themselves N**i lovers or wanna be’s. We have seen this as of late, when it becomes socially acceptable, they come out with their real intentions.

03/16/2026

HORMONE REPLACEMENT THERAPY.

Today was so scary. I went up the 3 flights of stairs.. and literally couldn’t breathe.. I was huffing and puffing at the top of my lungs and desperately grasping for breath.. trying to get breath.. like I couldn’t get it. Luckily, I eventually caught my breath and returned to normal, but I didn't know if I would and it was terrifying. My first fear was that there was something serious wrong with my lungs— maybe the cancer grew and there was no room in my lungs. I was so scared. After that I noticed I would break out in a sweat.. just getting up out of my chair to get something a few feet away, so I realized the problem was more to do with my heart than my lungs, which was a huge relief.

I took some dexamthazone, which I take when I start developing POTS symptoms— that is, where I can’t get up without my heart rate going to extreme rates. It didn’t seem to help. Sometimes with POTS .. the POTS was so bad that I couldn’t get out of bed at all— I had to lay flat and could if sit upright without my heart rate rising to outrageous levels. So I took the the Dexamethazone and it didn’t seem to resolve the problem. I was sitting in my chair feeling sweat drops fall off my hair and drip down my back. Then I all of a sudden realized I had not taken estrogen in more than a few days, so I took two estrogen pills.

30 minutes later.. all the sweat in my hair completely dried. I went for a walk around my apartment— and my heart rate was no longer going up excessively just from barely doing any work (work as in getting up getting something 5 feet away). I just felt completely normal walking around my apartment. My heart rate was no longer rising excessively just from walking. My muscles no longer ached from barely walking. I was no longer in this wrong calibration - where walking 5 steps produces the same results as a person who just ran a marathon.

It’s crazy that lack of estrogen can nearly put you into this kind of cardiac catastrophe.

This is why, when I hear about pr***ens and teens and young adults being given hormone blockers— ITS INSANE TO ME. Hormones are involved in so much more than just, “gender related things.” Your body is always going to be the gender you were born as and is always going to need the hormones related to the gender you were born as.

My ability to produce hormones was destroyed by radiation and life without hormones is hell for me. Obviously, as I just described, it puts me into a dangerous cardiac situation. Also without the Hormone Replacement Therapy I will become completely unable to function mentally. I will get to a point where I can’t think, and I mean literally I can’t think. The hospital once decided to take me off HRT when I was admitted. I was supposed to ride the grey hound bus home and I told them, “I’m not going to be able to do the things that it takes to ride a bus and get home”— like get on the ride bus, do transfers, and all the things that require a brain and thinking and decision making. I told them, “I am not going to be able to get home,” so they put me back on the HRT. I am trying to express/ explain that I totally lose the ability to think. Then there is the issue of extreme, extreme depression.

There was a time between when I got radiation and had my hormones destroyed AND the time it took me to get the prescription for HRT, in which I just lived in complete hell. Absolutely, chemically depressed and totally unable to function mentally. It’s very hard to describe but it makes me wonder HOW IN THE HELL can these teens and pr***ens function without their hormones!!!

It’s more than just chemical castration. The body needs hormones to function and the mind needs hormones to think. You also need hormones to keep yourself from throwing yourself off a bridge.
Anyways, it a great crime in my book- to do this to pr***en and teens.

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My "Art Lesson" yesterday with my daughter. Of course, I express extreme gratitude and appreciation, which may scare her...
03/16/2026

My "Art Lesson" yesterday with my daughter. Of course, I express extreme gratitude and appreciation, which may scare her away. But I can't help it. I literally, sit alone in my room by myself for weeks, so I appreciate so much-- just spending 3 hours with her. I appreciate so much that she drove me to Dollar General. I appreciate everything-- every little thing, every bit of help I get. When she dropped me off back at home after going to Dollar General, I told her, "I had a great time," like something you would say after a date, LOL. Also during the art lesson, where I struggle to draw basic things like circles and lines, my daughter kept laughing saying, "I grew up my whole life believing you were this great artist." LOLOLOL. It was funny and I laughed too. I am a great artist only in the sense that I can replicate-- draw, paint, WHAT I SEE. I say I have the gift of VISION-- I can see. And maybe the gift of math-- calculations and dimensions and such. But I am actually very low on imagination, creativity, drawing/painting from my mind. Like my daughter can draw people right out of her head. In my old age, I am trying to "take lessons" for the first time. I have never had any kind of lessons my whole life. I mealy, just draw or paint what I SEE. It's now exciting to take lessons and develop the framework behind things.

To help with my cancer journey and save my life.
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Here is a watercolor that I made for my dad. Even despite my dad's craziness, extreame TDS, we share a love of scripture...
03/16/2026

Here is a watercolor that I made for my dad. Even despite my dad's craziness, extreame TDS, we share a love of scripture, and luckily people appreciate homemade gifts even if they are not, "perfect" such as homemade writing and imperfect text. I have been angry at who my father has become and only had negative things to say to him the last few years, but now I am taking a different approach of thanking him for the person that he was-- who taught me and made me everything I ever became, and which in so many ways, has also been passed down to my daughter, as maybe I raised her with the same kind of perfectionistic formula, of having moral and intellectual expectations, and expecting her to be a, "completed person" --possessing all the right characteristics. I can see from looking at her that I raised her like my dad raised me. Cause she has an extremely dynamic mind and is very justice bound. She does lack empathy and compassion, but she is also very moral and definitely has a strong moral compass. I am hoping that with life experience she will develop the empathy and compassion-- the only thing that is really lacking. But I know in reality, it takes a life time to really develop. I am certainly not the person at age 44... that I was a 20. So in reality, I know I raised he with OUTRAGEOUS expectations and standards. I kinda realize that now and I realize from her vantage point, maybe it was hard to live with such an extremists. I know I resented my dad a long time for giving me such an extremists childhood, and I thought, who does that to a kid? BUT I am very happy now, at age 44, to be who I am, so now I am grateful. My daughter feels like I always made her feel like something was wrong with her or that she was bad. I can see how she would come to that conclusion. But she's looking at it from the wrong scope I think. Once she gets out into life and sees, "how people are," that they are overall, extremely, extremely dumb and incapable of basic discernment or even basic common sense, and she see's how very little "character attributes" and "integrity" they possess--- then one day she will appreciate it more and realize that it was not that she was, "bad" ... it was just that I had extreme expectations. In my mind I saw the person she needed to become and I wasn't happy till she became that-- intellectually and morally. In contrast to maybe, "normal parents" that don't care much about any of that. Well, now she is almost perfect in my mind... almost the perfect human, just lacking in empathy and compassion. Not that she is totally lacking. She is always out for the underdog. But ... its not like she is overflowing with Tzedakah or Loving-Kindness either. but maybe that is another one of my outrageous expectations. And I will continually push her in that direction. Because it is ultimately what matters most in life. I mean, when we stand before G-d, that is all that matters or counts for anything. But till then, she is extreme TRUTH built, bound. She absolutely SEES and distiguishes-- TRUTH and LIES. And she is very, very Justice bound. Overall, she is an extremely moral person-- as far as doing what is right. It is not like she pursues evil or wrong things in any way. She loves the truth and what is right. And she is exceptionally smart-- like genius level smart. Also she is full of wisdom. I just need her to also develop compassion and empathy eventually. But in my long discussions with CHAT GPT-- he says her behavior is normal for a 20 year old and her reaction to me having cancer and how she copes with it is normal for a 20 year old. So that makes me feel a lot better. It is not like I need her to be empathetic and compassionate with me. I just need to see it-- even with other people. But I know, in my case, it is just hard for her to emotionally cope with me having cancer. And her life is probably much better not living with me and maybe being free. It is difficult to have to see other people struggle and suffer all the time. There is an entire emotional battle in trying to cope with it all. And in some ways you have to shut it off to be able to cope with it.

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