Rise Above The Bully

01/10/2016

There's a lot of love around you too.

10/14/2015

Sing a long! ♥♥♪♪♫♪♫♪♪♪♥♥

Download this song on itunes - https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/album/love-yourself-single/id1031579351?mt=1&app=music www.kharitoure.com Follow Khari: Facebo...

10/08/2015

02/05/2015

02/01/2015

Food for thought

12/11/2014

THIS

10/18/2014

I know I have been a bit MIA (been super swamped with business) but the idea I had for this page was to keep it positive, to keep movement forward and this is a perfect example of what I want to spread....

She wasn't going to let them bring her- or anyone- down.

08/19/2014

Models often get judged for being too thin. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and it's not up to others to decide what is acceptable.

Kelli Kickham is "an athlete and avid runner with background in gymnastics and roller derby." and beautiful!

(c) RYDER Makeup Labs
HMU: Heather Murad
Photographer: Cindil Ashley
Designer: Tatiana Andrade

08/18/2014

"Revolution doesn't have to do with smashing something; it has to do with bringing something forth. If you spend all your time thinking about that which you are attacking, then you are negatively bound to it. You have to find the zeal in yourself and bring that out." ~ Joseph Campbell

Here's a little bit different way to see this. "If you spend all your time thinking about that which you are attacking (or scared of or mad at or worrying about or feel less than about) then you are negatively bound to it."

You can change your focus. I get it that things are coming in hard and fast at times. And I'm not suggesting you ignore the present world in front of you.

What I am suggesting is to give yourself breathing room when you can. To say "okay" to that inner critic - instead of engaging with it - when you can. To look at what options are in front of you and choose one that helps you look towards how you really want things to look like.

From the ever-wise Jo Pillmore

08/16/2014

So why do some kids (and adults) bully? We can never know for sure what motivates the behavior, but all actions are driven by needs. One of the very basic human needs is to feel loved and accepted. And from the time that we are very small, we learn how we need to be/act in order to get our need for attention met.

Depending on what is modeled in our family environment, this can vary greatly, but we usually end up playing one of three roles: bossy helpers (rescuers), blaming bullies (persecutors), helpless babies (victims). (I am using language developed by Lynne Forrest, who is a pioneer in overcoming victim consciousness).

This is called the drama/victim triangle.

***And anyone who is on the triangle is not a bad child/person***
...they are actually very creative and have learned how to get their need for attention met...it's a basic survival method.

And even though the attention is negative, it's still attention.

And here's the really interesting part: no matter which role you play, you will eventually play the other two roles. So if you're in the victim position, you will eventually become a rescuer (which is not a "hero" role but only perpetuates victim consciousness), and a persecutor.

Victim consciousness is a state of mind that prompts us to feel at the mercy of some­thing out­side us — or, prompts us to res­cue some­one else who we per­ceive as needy, mis­treated, or unable.

And this is where acceptance comes into play: by not judging victims, persecutors and rescuers as either good or bad, we can understand the dynamic and change it.

08/16/2014

This is Karen posting...

Tara asked me to come here and share my thoughts on how to handle bullying. I am a Life Coach and I've dealt with bullying pretty much my whole life. I grew up in a family of bullies, most notably my mother and stepfather.

Here's the most important, life-changing, transformational advice I can offer: accept that bullying happens. That doesn't mean we approve of it or like it...and it's equally important that we don't hate or resist it. When we say it shouldn't have happened, after it has happened, we only create pain for ourselves.

So what does it mean to really and truly rise above bullying? It means that we don't make it mean anything about us, even when it's happening to us. It's just a person speaking words, nothing more and nothing less.

And when we choose to see it this way, the bully loses his/her power. He/she is no longer in the "one up" position and we are no longer the "victim."

Thoughts?