06/14/2026
Would you force another adult to hug someone they didn't want to hug?
Then why do we force children to do it every day?
It dawned on me today while listening to a discussion about consent that we spend a lot of time teaching adults and teenagers about boundaries, body autonomy, and the importance of consent. But why do we so often ignore those same principles when it comes to children?
How many times have we seen a child clearly uncomfortable, hiding behind a parent, refusing a hug, or pulling away from a relative they barely know?
And what do we say? Don't be rude, give them a hug. You don't want to hurt their feelings do you?
I understand the intention. We want our children to be polite and respectful, but what lesson are we really teaching?
When we force a child to hug, kiss, or touch someone they don't want to, we are teaching them that other people's feelings matter more than their own boundaries. We are teaching them that they don't get a say over who has access to their body.
Children are not property. They are people. They feel fear, anxiety, discomfort, embarrassment, insecurity, and uncertainty just like adults do. The fact that they are young does not make those feelings less real.
We can teach respect without teaching submission.
A wave is respectful, so is a handshake or a high-five.
Consent should not begin at eighteen. It should begin the moment a child is old enough to understand that their body belongs to them.
Maybe it's time we stop telling children to ignore their boundaries for the comfort of adults.
~ Troy W. Green
Send a message to learn more
