10/21/2024
How does a Severe Panic Disorder feel like you ask?
Yesterday, I did some work outside getting ready for our upcoming hog roast.
Nothing too major...weed whacking, lopping some shrubbery and vines, raking, and wire brushing and cleaning on the smoker.
Not a problem...kinda painful with the Chronic Lymes Disease I also deal with that mostly affects my shoulders - but anyways...
This morning, as we all know after a workout or extra physical excursion...the body will be feeling it. Extra sore, pangs all over my shoulders, middle back, even in my chest (pecks), stomach etc.
To normal people this'll be like - well crap... that was a work out yesterday and I'm feeling it for sure today!
For me...I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not having a heart attack, blood clots aren't happening in my lungs, and cancer is not developing in my breasts or back. Every - single - twinge that happens, brings my brain up to a panic. I have to actually keep reminding myself....come on - Leisa, you know it was from yesterday and all the work you did (which I don't feel like it was much)... just more than my normal lately because of all the chronic pain I live with.
Panic literally makes you think you're dying...your brain automatically goes for the worse possible scenario. Better call the squad cause here I come Elizabeth kind-of-thing.
I can't help it, I can't control it, sobbing insues, I feel like a puddle of mess....then I remember to tell myself that I'm OK and I'm not dying. Even tho I know where I go when I die - my brain freaks the heck out and it takes an incredible amount of focus to get and keep myself together.
I don't have time for this....we got a hog to roast!!!
Be kind to those around you cause you don't REALLY know what each other is dealing with!!!