07/18/2026
"I'll carry you with me into every day you've never lived and every year you've never known"
-Molly Mattocks
This is the reality of grief, once the numbness wears off. The reality of life moving forward pokes through the cracks. You carry them through the mornings they never woke to, the seasons they never aged into and the changes they never witnessed. This is YEAR 5.....
For us, its the growing of her sweet boy into the spirited, loving, unique little guy who loves hard and feels deeply. It's the approaching weddings of her brothers that she will attend, only in tearful tributes and obvious absence. These are just a few of the countless celebrations and events that she should have been a part of. These hit hard.
Carring someone like this isn't sentimental, it's heavy. It's holding space for them in the everyday that no longer holds the body, the voice or the future. It's holding on to their memory alongside new experiences and knowing they don't cancel each other out. Joy doesn't replace grief, it coexists...often uncomfortably. You lose more than just your person, you often lose friendships, because this is tough to fathom if you are not walking in it. People don't want that kind of sadness in their life. As if THIS was ever a choice.
This is what it means to love someone who didn't get to keep living. You don't leave them behind, you take them with you in all of your days forward.
And you do it through the fears, the tears and the years. It is not easy and lives are forever changed, in ways unimaginable. There is one thing that remains the same....LOVE. That never ends.
We miss your smile, your goofy laugh, your clumsy walk, your scent, your loud music, your cleaning out my fridge/snacks, your leaving my car close to empty road trips, your messy room, your strong bear-hugs, your kisses on my face and your love.
We will never get used to saying you are gone, so for now we will say: We love you now and forever, we'll see you when we get there♡