04/21/2026
Most people believe that love is something that happens between two people.
That it depends on who the other person is. How they treat you. How much they give. How well they fit. And so they spend their lives searching for someone worthy enough to unlock it in them.
But there is a different way of understanding love entirely.
What if love is not something that exists between you and another person? What if love is something that exists within you, and the other person is simply the mirror that reflects how much of it you have allowed to flow?
Think about it this way. When you love someone deeply, what is actually happening? You are open. You are present. You are undefended. The walls are down. The conditions are suspended. You are, for a moment, fully alive in a way that ordinary life rarely permits.
That state, that openness , is yours. It does not belong to the other person. They did not create it. They created the conditions in which you allowed it to emerge.
Which means the love you feel for another person is first and foremost a revelation about you. About how much of yourself you have been willing to unblock. About how many of the barriers you have dismantled. About how open your channel has become.
The person who loves deeply is not lucky. They are open.
And the person who cannot love, who finds relationships always disappointing, always insufficient, always falling short, is not unlucky either. They are closed. Not because of the people they have met. But because of the walls they have not yet chosen to take down.
This means that working on your capacity to love is not about finding better people.
It is about becoming more of yourself. ✦
