09/22/2016
I am a mother first; a (black) mother, and now more than ever it is critically important that the difference be distinguished. I have had diverse friends all my life, many I love as brothers and sisters...with race not being an issue between us, for my part I have not had these conversations...I am saying it is time. For those who consider themselves my friends and see the news of what is happening in my community of color, no I am not immune..., nor some sub segment of black that an't them, because they had to have done something to recieve the treatment they are receiving...while we are not monolithic, though many try to corral us into manageable pods, and choose who we follow by who the media decides we do, or decides who is acceptable or to be demonized, ironically, though as my friend placing me in the "good black pod" racism is non-discriminatory...I have been called ni**er enough to at one point wonder if it were my middle name; I remember segregated movie theaters, and drinking out of our own special fountains as my parents tried to make it a more palatable game; my failure as a friend was in not discussing it with you, I didn't because you were not doing the it to me, My lack of understanding was as a child and adult loving you for who you were and not deeming it necessary. Because i look for my fault in things first and try to correct them before moving on to yours, i cannot fault you because i did not tell you...HOWEVER please listen because I am telling you now; like Beyonce who the world seemed to be "shocked' was black...I carry hotsauce in my bag, I sweat hay, and my son gets 2 seconds for a cop to react, to the 30 minutes your son is given...unlike being gay...where you might have to know a person, have "radar" or ask...before poison is spewed ---the reaction to me and mine is instant...not even 60 seconds of thought; the uniform I wear, the uniform my son wears...though he did not sign up for the military or to be a police officer where the risk is assumed...the uniform he wears is the black skin I and his father gave him, a conscripted soldier not of his own choosing...I did not bring him into the world for this, pour all my heart and soul into his life for this, did not hope, put my body on the line for him to reach his full potential for this, and I am tired, I am angry, i am focused and I am a force because I am his mother. If you in all the years you have known me...did not know this...you do now...I just told you...do with it what you will...i love you, but I love him more...i will hope as mothers you can feel me...as friends...what is happening in the world is now less remote and you find a point to relate, and as human beings say enough...not Aria's son, not anyone's son--mothers not only rock the cradle...we rule the world, when we have the will to.