10/09/2022
This week is
We struggled through two and a half years of unexplained infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss. 10 months of fertility treatment. Thousands of dollars and no answers as to why.
Every test came back perfect, we should have been fine. I was even approved to donate eggs three times to help other families struggling.
Those years were the darkest of my life. I felt surrounded by other pregnancies, lost friendships, cried my eyes out many times wondering why this was happening to us.
My first miscarriage was the hardest. I lost that baby the day after my first nephew was born.
Holding a newborn while your body is miscarrying your own baby is a deep pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
We fell pregnant again immediately, no cycle in between. I felt so much hope. The chances of two miscarriages back to back were so low. But my hcg wasn’t going up appropriately.
I began miscarrying in the middle of a family event the week of 4th of July. All I wanted to do was hide and cry but I was surrounded by people.
After that we didn’t conceive again for over a year, despite starting fertility treatments.
Each failed attempt hurt worse and worse.
We finally conceived again, on our 7th fertility treatment. This time we used follistim, the medication that unknowingly helped us conceived Lincoln. (I still had high amounts in my system from an egg donation) The one i kept telling myself would be what worked, and it did.
I lost that baby again right after my 2nd nephew was born.
I felt cursed that if another baby was born I would loose my own.
Right after that Colbys appendix burst, it felt like the world was against me.
On the last treatment we could afford, we fell pregnant. I got the strongest positive on Lincoln’s 3rd birthday.
Deep down I knew this baby would be okay, this is the one that will make it.
At 5w5days we saw four sacs and two little heart beats.
6w5days, four little heart beats.
The most magical sound ❤️
♡ ♡
