02/14/2024
Long story short even though I work full time and have insurance I don't make enough money to save the ability to use one of my fingers I severely cut at work making someone else rich. Oh and I haven't got paid for 2 months. Oh and I am an as***le. Nobody likes to read these weird rants. It makes them feel awkward and doesn't help engage the brain. I'm lonely as f**k. I'm hurt as f**k. I'm hungry and I'm cold. I'm scared. I'm tired beyond exhaustion and I have been for awhile now. I wish I had a mom and a dad I could lean on for a bit. I wish I could see me getting custody of my boys and live a happy life but I can't. I can't get off the couch and I don't even have a couch. I don't have gas money or toll to get to the shelter that never called me back. I'm sorry I get frustrated and I'm sorry my size and my tattoos make me scary to you or intimidating. I know that there is no way for anyone to know but I am a peaceful man. My only dreams involve living your life. My dreams include paying my bills instead of not never have being able to get to the point to acquire a bill. I have no rent, water, electric, sewer, car, insurance or anything other bill besides my phone bill that's already 2 months overdue. My predictive text didn't have to work hard to know that smh. I want to take my kids to school and buy girl scout cookies. I want to complain about how much taxes have been raised while honestly wanting for nothing. I want to know what life is without having lived in prison and jail for the majority of my life. I want to know what it's like for a justice system to acknowledge that I am truly not guilty. I want to be seen. I want to be hugged and I want to know what love is. I want to love safely and appropriately. I want to know what it's like to be alone in my own home wondering when the kids are gonna get home. I want to wake up and be able to stand up straight figuratively and literally. I want to be able to eat what I cook and my teeth not hurt cause mom never cared that I brushed my teeth regularly. I want to smell good when I get in the car I wanted to buy with the job that pays me enough to cover the bills and maybe put something in the savings so I can surprise my boys with things like a weekend vacation or a used car to work on together. Maybe help build tiny homes to help people who can't help themselves. I want to look at you in the store with a bit of dignity. I want to know I don't have to abandon my vehicle i bought with the back i break to make others rich and happy because I can't afford the tow and even if I could I can't take it to a home I don't have. I want to go to events put on by the community. I want to see you in the grocery store and know that you're doing well. I want to breathe and not cry.
"That just isn't possible."
-me
"I don't care"
Cumberland County Sheriff's Office
Congress
