Strive4Vexellence

08/21/2022

My beautiful son, through the ongoing pain and constant grief, because of you I find a way to smile. The thought of you makes me smile as much as it makes me cry. Today marks the day that one of the greatest, most charismatic, super talented and oh so handsome princes was born! That smile, OMG, THAT SMILE...Today I celebrate you and your beautiful life! I celebrate every bit of joy and happiness that you've ever given me! During your birthday week I received Good News and my blessings are pouring in which tells me your energy is just as strong now as it was while you were here on this earth! Your "Vexellence" will beam forever baby!! My son, my prince, you're beautiful light is shining on me and through me! I love you so so much and today I celebrate your beautiful being! Happy Heavenly Birthday my beautiful son!!

06/13/2022

In the midst of wiping off makeup, paid attention to the expression on my face and how it exhibited my thoughts. Thoughts of feelings and existence, reactions to my grief that I'm forced to grapple with daily after the murder of my son... Abandoned, Alone, Avoided, Defeated, Disregarded, Nullified, Judged, Excluded, Neglected, Dismissed, Isolated, Forgotten...

07/05/2021

RASHAWN, my beautiful beloved son it's 8 years to the date that your life was cut short and no, it hasn't gotten any easier. I cry with every thought of your murder. At times I don't recognize my own screams and cries because they're blood curdling & filled with so much pain!! I miss you so so much it's unbearable. I still feel ostracized and isolated for the pain I endure, and exhibit at times. I failed to protect you and I'm so sorry!! If I could have given my life for yours I would have instantly. Even though I pray everyday for the strength to pick myself up from the floor, for the strength to function, for the strength to just breathe; I question God and my faith because I just can't wrap my mind around this. You ARE BEAUTIFUL your LIFE was beautiful and deserved to be LIVED!!! I can't change that but I can ensure your legacy will go on your light will continue to shine!!! I WILL NOT stop fighting for justice for you!! There is no statue of limitations on murder which matches the NO limitations in my spirit for this fight!!! At times I feel your presence and I know your beautiful strong spirit is right beside me. I LOVE YOU SON FROM MY CORE AND I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH!! PLEASE KEEP WATCHING OVER ME, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR BROTHERS UNTIL WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN...♥️♥️♥️

01/29/2021

Poised, Classy, Beautiful, Iconic, Resilient!! Just a few words that come to mind when describing Ms Cicely Tyson! Inspired from the first time I saw Sounder!! My admiration for this incredibly talented remarkable woman has never ceased! Every one of her performances have left me in awe!! Thank you Ms Tyson for knocking down stereotypes and paving the way for so so many! Thank you for the encouragement and inspiration! I salute your life! Thank you for sharing such an extraordinary and remarkable journey with the world!! Sleep in peace Queen...

01/07/2021

01/01/2021

Goodbye to 2020!!

09/20/2020

Definitions of closure... This term is used more often than not when it comes to murder. For me there is no closure for murder. The holes and gaps are far to huge and wide to seal shut. You work around them, and through them but they definitely don't close. Some say you'll find it when the murder is solved. Again, NO... Perhaps I'll feel some closure when we have stringent and efficient gun laws. Perhaps I'll feel some closure when I don't wake up everyday to another young man being shot down in the streets because of his race, AND because of his race. That's what I said. Maybe I'll feel some closure when we start treating MURDER like it's MURDER!! Until I know I've done all I can, the feeling of closure doesn't exist for me. I'm WIDE OPEN!! I'm standing strong & fighting hard as I Strive4Vexellence...

08/21/2020

August 20, 1983 I gave birth to a King. The brightest most energetic charismatic gift from God! Although you were taken blatantly and senselessly, your spirit and your energy WAS NOT! It flows through me! As I mourn your absence I celebrate your life!! A life, a movement that I will continue to speak volumes of!!! I love you my beautiful King Rashawn Tarif Jackson, you truly are VEXELLENT!!! Continue to sleep in power son I love you with everything! ❤️❤️❤️

08/05/2020

My son, niece & nephew, 0n 7/5/20; paying tribute to Rashawn (Vex) on the 7th anniversary of his murder. Never envisioned this would be a Thing...

07/05/2020

Today marks 7 years that my beautiful son was murdered. Not enough words to describe the pain n agony felt from his murder! There is a huge hole in my life and heart where he's supposed to be. I woke up screaming how dare you take my son's life!! His life wasn't yours to take! As talented and amazing as my beautiful son was, his name and face should have been noted and recognized for the world to see! This IS NOT how I expected to see it...
I'm fighting for you strong and hard my beautiful son! I am asking young Brothers to please stop what you're doing! Find another way to solve your conflicts! Stand up and be the Kings you were meant to be. Live in and create your own greatness instead of being envious and jealous of that man across from you. Love yourselves, love and build each other!! PLEASE DON'T PLACE ANOTHER MOTHER IN MY SHOES...

06/21/2020

Happy Heavenly Father's Day my Rockstar! I'm so blessed & grateful for the time I had witnessing you as a father. I love you my beautiful son with all I have! Continue to SIP...