03/17/2023
The other day we posted about ghosting and how unfair that can be to the other person even if it feels easier for you. Communication when ending a fling (or relationship) is about being clear, direct, and honest (within reason aka this helps them understand why it’s no longer working for you, and it’s not hurtful).
Firstly I want to acknowledge these examples are all text messages, and the clear preference is in person or over the phone. But if we are going to text to end a fling, here are some samples on how to do it...
Option one is “good.", while this certainly doesn’t contain a lot of information, and the person could be left confused, they did at least reach out and say something. Saying something is almost always better than nothing at all. They did leave the door open giving the other person hope they could reconnect, and while you may say this to make someone feel better, it could mess with them if you don’t really mean it.
Option two is “better.”, here they apologize and take ownership if they miscommunicated their intentions. But it's still a bit vague just saying they don’t want a relationship anymore. They are also wishing them well for the future, and formally closing the door to the possibility of something, which is great closure for the other person!
Option three is the “best!”, this person took ownership that they weren’t clear in the beginning. They are admitting it sucks to do this via text, and are also giving clear concrete reasons why the situation isn’t working so the other person isn’t left asking questions and wondering. It’s also pretty kind for delivering some sucky and disappointing information.
Takeaways ✨
- be clear + end the situation (don’t leave the person hanging on to a flash of hope).
- be honest and admit it kind of sucks to do over text
- if you can, give the person a reason so they aren’t sitting there playing the what-if game or wondering what happened or blaming themself.