05/28/2026
📰 TELLICO GOSSIP — SPECIAL PROBATE EDITION
“BREAKING: Judge Spotted Near Calendar, Quickly Retreats”
“After 30 years in Tellico Village, my mother earned better than this probate circus. So here’s today’s episode of ‘The Judge Who Misplaced His Calendar.’”
Well folks, gather ‘round, because today’s update from the Probate Twilight Zone is a real treat.
After months of motions, filings, stamped copies, and enough paperwork to wallpaper the Yacht Club, we are still missing one tiny, insignificant detail:
A hearing date.
Yes, you heard that right. The probate judge — a man with an office, a robe, and presumably a calendar — has once again demonstrated his uncanny ability to avoid scheduling anything that might resemble actual judicial work.
So, in the spirit of community service, I’m filing a Motion for Scheduling Order, which is legal‑speak for:
“Your Honor, please pick a day. Any day. We’re not picky.”
Apparently, asking for a hearing date in Loudon County is like asking the HOA to approve a pink flamingo mailbox — technically possible, but emotionally traumatic for everyone involved.
Meanwhile:
The estate still has no EIN
No accounting
No inventory
No discovery
No answers
No urgency
And no hearing
But don’t worry — the Court assures us everything is “under advisement,” which is Tellico‑code for:
“We’ll get to it right after we finish not getting to the last thing.”
So yes, the Motion for Scheduling Order is going out. Not because I enjoy paperwork, but because someone in this county has to act like time exists.
If the judge grants it, fantastic — we’ll finally have a date. If he doesn’t, even better — the appellate court will get a front‑row seat to the world’s slowest probate case.
Stay tuned, Tellico. At some point, something in this case has to move. And if it’s not the Court, it’ll be me dragging this circus into daylight one motion at a time.
“For my mother — a thirty‑year resident whose dignity deserves more than probate limbo.”
https://zorrow.org/horion-family-treachery