07/28/2025
Join me as I share the story of my grief: loneliness. My story begins at 10, when my want for a sister turned into a serious need. I felt misunderstood by my parents and was afraid of being hurt by those misunderstandings. So, it remained unspoken and daily I would struggle. Loneliness is a mental battle and it starts by telling yourself that you are alone. Although I had people who loved and treasured me, I told myself that no one cared or loved me. Loneliness is a mindset, not truth. But it creates convincing lies: no one loves me, no one cares about what I am going through, I have no friends, and I don’t fit in. These self-deprecating thoughts seep into the core of your being and consume you.
Loneliness is subjective: what caused me to feel lonely might not make you feel lonely at all. Psychology Today cites being in an unfamiliar place, your ethnicity, race, religion, beliefs, handicaps, or feeling unloved, overthinking relationships, losing someone close to you, or not having a significant other. It all boils down to thinking you are alone. Feeling that you are not connected and supported by those around you. Everyone feels lonely from time to time.
The New Republic shared, “Psychobiologists can now show that loneliness sends misleading hormonal signals, rejiggers the molecules on genes that govern behavior, and wrenches a slew of other systems out of whack. They have proved that loneliness not only makes you sick; it can kill you. A partial list of the physical diseases thought to be caused or exacerbated by loneliness would include Alzheimer’s, obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, neurodegenerative diseases, and even cancer.” Mental effects of loneliness outlined by verywellmind are depression, increased stress, decreased memory and learning, altered brain function, antisocial behavior, poor decision-making, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts. At 12, my life felt empty. When I connected with someone, the lies started: she didn’t truly care about me, just using me to make friends. It hurt my friendship with her, made me mistrust others, and made me miserable.
Come back Wednesday for part II!