Veterans of Foreign War Post 2153

Veterans of Foreign War Post 2153 Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Veterans of Foreign War Post 2153, Nonprofit Organization, 1, Moline, IL.

06/19/2026

What do u call a fish with a bow tie? So*fish*ticated.

- What kind of wreaths do fish hang on their doors? Coral wreaths.

- What do you call a fish you haven't put on the scale yet? The one you gotta weigh.

- I bought the love of my life some fish from Washington, but she dumped me immediately afterwards. Oh well, there's plenty more fish in DC.

- Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper water would make them sneeze.

- Why did Noah have so much difficulty fishing on the ark? He only brought two worms.

- If I go on a discount fishing trip and I lose the worm off the hook of my fishing line ... am I entitled to a rebait?

- What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.

- What do you call a Polish fisherman? A fishing pole.

- "Hello, I need to make an insurance claim, a fish has damaged my car."
"... a fish? We'll have to inspect the vehicle first. Where is it parked?"
-"In the lake."

06/18/2026

Why did the female crocodile leave her husband? He had a reptile dysfunction.

- What was the most rampant STD in the crocodile community in the 1980s? GatorAIDS.

- Why should you never play poker with a crocodile? You will lose every hand.

- Two crocodile-themed cars were driving right behind each other. They were tailgators.

- What is a crocodile’s favorite party game? Swallow the leader!

- It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while, whereas the other will see you later.

- What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush? You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.

- How do you bid farewell to an Islamophobic Crocodile? See ya later, Allah-hater!

- Why can't Egyptian crocodiles get through the 5 stages of grief? They keep getting stuck in de Nile.

06/17/2026

THE BREEDING FARM
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia and decided to visit a crocodile breeding farm.

Unfortunately, they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.

The female ate the Frenchman.

The Czech was in the male.
++++++++++++++++

"Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep ... in a giant blender." - Homer
++++++++++++++++

SLOW CROCODILE: Later gator.

06/16/2026

- What is wind? Air in a hurry.

- What is the fastest type of wind? A Hurrycane.

- How does wind get fit? Air Conditioning.

- I'm obsessed with watching cornstalks being pollinated by the wind. I obviously have a cornography addiction.

- I went outside today and saw the most magnificent windstorm. I was just blown away.

- I prefer driving with a strong tailwind. But my wife says that's not what the term means, and all I'm doing is making the car smell like rotten eggs.

- What do you call creepy wind chimes? Stranger Tings.

- My house was so windy that it blew my window open, and I struggled to get it to close. It was a huge pane.

- I bought an umbrella with the brand name of Napoleon. On a strong windy day, it got blownapparte.

- What do you call a bald man on a windy day? Fortunate.

06/15/2026

There are three kinds of people: Firstly, the ones who shower, secondly, the ones who take baths, and thirdly, the ones who sit next to me on the bus.

- I just dropped my phone in the bath ... and now it's syncing.

- Wife asked me to get her "bath stuff" for Christmas. Hope she likes her toaster.

- Life is like a nice, hot bath. The longer you're in it, the more wrinkles you'll get.

- My Mum and Dad make me have a bath in Australian lager. They're my foster parents.

- What did the philosopher say after he took a bath? "I stink, therefore I swam."

- My wife asked me to get her a bath bomb. She's been giving me the silent treatment ever since I gave her that Francium.

- Usually, when I get naked in the bathroom, the shower gets turned on.

- What happens when you take a bath with a toaster? The answer will shock you!

- Why must people sun-dry after bathing in Afghanistan? There's a towel ban in Afghanistan.

06/14/2026

Subject: Latin Phrase

The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase,
"Tuti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind.

A women's rights group approached the Pope the next day. They
noticed that the pope blessed all Mankind, but not Womankind

The next day, after His sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tuti
Homini, et Tuti Femini" - Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.

The next day, a gay-rights group approached the Pope. They said
that they noticed that he blessed man kind and woman kind, and asked if
he could also bless gay people. The Pope said, "Sure".

The next day, the Pope concluded his sermon with,"Tuti Homini, et
Tuti Femini, et Tuti Fruiti."

06/13/2026

WHO IS THAT WOMAN?
Adam and Eve are walking through the Garden of Eden for the first time. They marvel at the beauty. Waterfalls, beautiful plants, trees, and animals, and an incredible sky are the things they look at and enjoy.

Adam looks past God and sees a woman standing there. With Eve next to him, he wonders who it is. He asks God, "Who is that standing there?"

God turns, and Queen Elizabeth II smiles and waves at him.

God turns back to him and says, "I have no clue. She was here when I got here!"
++++++++++++++++

"A w**d is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows." - Doug Larson

06/12/2026

- Who is the leader of the corn army? The kernel.

- What did baby corn ask mommy corn? Where is pop corn?

- Corn makes everything better. It's a-maize-ing like that.

- I said to the woman at the deli, “I’d like to buy a corned beef and pastrami, with pickles.” She replied, “Sorry ... we only take cash or card.”

- Why did the corn cross the road? Because it was being stalked.

- How much does corn cost in Tampa Bay? A Buccaneer.

- What do you call a single kernel of corn? A uni-corn.

- Did you hear about the Russian plane that had to land in the middle of a corn crop? Don’t worry, that pilot is the best in the field.

- What's the difference between corn and potatoes? One has ears, the other has eyes.

- A corn stalk sits down at a bar.
The bartender says, “Want to hear a corny joke?”
The corn stalk replies, “I’m all ears!”

06/11/2026

The doctor told my wife that she cannot touch anything alcoholic for the next three months. Now I’m not allowed to go near her.

- What is an alcoholic Mexican's favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird.

- Did you hear about the nun who was an alcoholic? Last I heard, she was trying to kick the habit.

- Being the son of an alcoholic genie was pretty tough. He spent most of my childhood in the bottle.

- I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, I go to parties.

06/10/2026

- A man rushed into the doctor’s office shouting, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" he said.
The doctor calmly replied, "Now settle down, you'll just have to be a little patient."

- Patient: "Doctor! Doctor! You have to help me! I keep dreaming that I'm a deck of cards!"
Doctor: "I'll deal with you later."

- "Doctor, doctor, I've swallowed my pocket money."
"Take this, and we'll see if there's any change in the morning."

- Doctor, doctor, "I keep thinking I'm a dog."
"Sit down and tell me about it."

- "Doctor, doctor, I've broken my arm in three places."
"Then don't go to those places."

- "Doctor, doctor, since the operation, I can't feel my legs."
"That's because we've amputated your hands."

- “Doctor, I think I might need glasses.”
“Sir, I think you are correct, since this is a bank.”

- Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a woman that delivers babies!”
“Don’t worry, it’s just a midwife crisis.”

- "Doctor, doctor, I can't stop singing Tom Jones songs; is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

- "Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing into the future."
"Really? When did this start?"
"Next Tuesday."

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1
Moline, IL

Telephone

(309) 764-3344

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