05/25/2026
It's OK to Say Happy Memorial Day: A Message from our Founder Christopher Kolenda
It’s OK to Have a Happy Memorial Day
The Memorial Day scolds come out annually. You can honor the day in your own way.
Today, I will be remembering the six paratroopers from my unit killed in action in Afghanistan. Their names are Private First Class Chris Pfeifer, Sergeant Adrian Hike, Specialist Jacob Lowell, Staff Sergeant Ryan Fritsche, Captain Dave Boris, and Major Tom Bostick. I invite you to watch this video about their service and sacrifice: youtube.com/watch?si=JsvmSg6-bRy2cV5_&v=AL9hDm2wSoE&feature=youtu.be
They died in places I directed them to go, following the orders I gave. One of the sacred responsibilities of combat leadership is to put your people in a position to succeed, knowing that the enemy acts of their own will and that you cannot control outcomes. You, alone, carry that weight, and yet, you do not have to be alone in carrying it. Each loss tore a hole in my emotional heart.
I’ll also be remembering those who have died from the effects of their wartime service – the diseases, suicides, overdoses, and other deaths of despair. Like nearly every combat unit, we’ve lost more to those causes than we did to enemy fire. Those deaths tear holes and leave scar tissue, too.
I’ve discovered another heart – a spiritual one. It was always there, but I’d kept it locked up and carefully guarded behind walls. I didn’t know that I was slowly suffocating it. Getting the right support cracked open those walls and gave me the courage to tell the sentinels to stand down.
I discovered my spiritual heart is a fire. Flames ignited in the fresh air when I opened up the walls. I call it my burning heart. The brighter those flames burn, the more warmth and light they produce.
Cultivating that flame provides the power to hold the sadness and joy, to remember the past but not be controlled by it, to honor the fallen and support the living. To me, Memorial Day is about that, too. The Saber Six Foundation is an expression of that burning heart. So is my personal and professional life.
Today, I will remember those who gave their lives defending our country and way of life. I will also enjoy the happiness of spending time with my family and friends, and reminiscing with my comrades. I can do all of these things, freely, and commemorate Memorial Day in my own way because Americans like these have defended our right to do so.
I invite you to hold Memorial Day and give it to others in a way that works for you. A memorial, by definition, is an act, symbol, observance, or place dedicated to honoring and remembering those who died in service to the nation. There’s no mandate for the emotions you are supposed to feel.
You have sovereignty. You are free, to paraphrase my friend and mentor Michelle Villalobos, to feel the emotions you feel and to cultivate the emotions you want to feel.
To Memorial Day.
-Christopher Kolenda
