We Are Team Anya

03/12/2026

Happy 24th Birthday Anya 🎂

On this day 24 years ago at 5:24pm you came into this world. I still remember you crying and then your dad started calling your name and you stopped crying. You were everything I wanted in a little girl. I had the perfect name picked out for you when I was only 15 wondering if I’d ever have a daughter.
You brought so much joy into my life and those around you. I have so many wonderful memories of you growing up and being your silly self.
Today I have to wonder where life would have taken you. You loved photography and had dreams of being a fashion photographer for Vogue Italia magazine. In my mind I often tell myself you made that dream come true and are out in the world living your life. I hope your brother and your dad are planning an amazing birthday for you. Here at the home front Daimond and I are celebrating with Stranger Things, Sloppy Joe’s and cheesecake a few of your favorite things.
I miss having you here with a house full of your friends and singing Happy Birthday.
To my beautiful daughter Anya, Happy Birthday to you 🎂 💙

12/02/2025

I haven’t shared much in a while but here’s how things are going.

It’s December 1st today and as the end of 2025 approaches I always dread a new year. For me it just reminds me of another year that Anya isn’t here. She was not able to celebrate her 18th birthday or even her 21st birthday, she never got the chance to learn to drive or even have her first car. I’ll never get to ask her how her job is going or life in general. I’m left wondering where life would have taken her.
I remember a conversation we had about her wanting to move to New York to go to a school for photography. Anya said it was supposed to be the best.
Just talking about her moving out was enough to make my anxiety go through the roof. I knew the world we live in is not the world I grew up in and it scared me to think I wouldn’t be there to protect her. Sometimes I feel okay knowing she is with her dad and I don’t have to worry about anyone trying to take advantage of her.
Still I’m sad that I couldn’t share her life as she grew up.
I didn’t ask for this life, I never even entertained the thought of a life without my kids, but here I sit. In a world where I’m left to wonder how different things would be if my kids were here.
There isn’t a day where I’m not reminded that Anya and Joe have passed on. Every day is a chore to get through, I’m expected to go to work and be cheerful for 8 hours as I handle calls from customers. I’m exhausted just from that every day pretending to be alive and happy.
I live in a world where I now have to see others enjoy watching their kids grow up.
Parents sharing milestones.
I really just pulled away from the outside world, it’s hard for me to interact with friends, there’s always the question of how I’m doing, so often I want to say sh*tty, I’m dead on the inside and life seems pointless.
I don’t have any interest in the things I used to love before.
Thanksgiving just passed and I thought about something I was thankful for, all I could think of was my dogs Pepper and Smokey and I was thankful that my husband and I didn’t get a divorce.
I don’t reach out to friends much anymore if at all, my days are always the same. I drag myself out of bed every morning, tend to my puppers, put on my happy cheerful mask and clock in for work, I play my role for eight hours, when I’m done I’m so exhausted after pretending all day. I immerse myself into shows on TV with multiple seasons just to focus on something other than my day. Then it’s off to bed only to do it all over again the next day.
I love to sit in Anya’s room every day, my mind likes to imagine she’s still here with me, her room is still the same, her posters on the walls and her clothes still hanging in her closet her dresser drawers are still full of clothes.
Nope, I don’t like it here.
I’m not even sure I want to learn how to live with this grief. Maybe I’m just not ready to move forward yet.
I just don’t want to know this pain anymore.

09/02/2025

September 2025

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month 🎗️

I haven’t checked in for quite some time…Not because I am trying to forget, because honestly this will forever be with me.

It’s been hard trying to come back from Anya passing on, every part of me left with her and now I’m trying to find who I am.

People say grief gets easier to handle as the time goes on but that is farther from the truth. I pulled away from life and friends as watching others enjoy time with family and friends is just to hard for me.
I want to also enjoy life being with my kids.

September isn’t just one month for me to care about Childhood Cancer Awareness, every day, every second, every minute of every hour is Childhood Cancer Awareness.

My life has been shattered and forever changed since those words back on September 19th 2017…

“Your daughter has cancer”

Nothing is scarier than watching your child go through treatments not being able to save them.

Now I’ll spend the rest of my life forever reminiscing on my memories with Anya 💙

02/23/2025

All are welcome to visit ❤️

Dedicated to the memory of Anya Walker

10/21/2024

‘When life breaks you, it is because you are ready to be put back together differently.

Every piece of you that feels shattered is a piece that will find a new place, a new purpose, a new meaning.

Trust that the cracks are where the light gets in. And sometimes, in our brokenness, we find our greatest wholeness.

We find the courage to rebuild, to reimagine, to redefine what it means to be strong.

You are not broken; you are breaking through.’

Writer unknown

10/10/2024

October is Anya’s favorite month, she absolutely loved horror movies and scary costumes. Every day I wake up wishing this was all a bad dream. 😔 I miss Anya so much.

03/12/2024

Thanks to Urban Cookies Bake Shop in Scottsdale AZ for the assortment of cupcakes for Anya’s birthday celebration

03/12/2024

Happy 22nd Birthday Anya,

At 5:24 pm on March 11 2002 you came into this world. My life changed the moment I held you for the first time. I remember you were crying and then your dad called your name and you stopped. He loved you so much and I’m grateful that you and him are together once again.
Every year it’s hard to find the smile that used to be on my face. Wishing you were here to celebrate with.
I loved going to the dollar store to buy blue balloons for every year of birth. I can just see it now my car filled with 22 blue balloons 😹 calling MaryBeth to have her make the cake you wanted for that year. Ordering Barros pepperoni pizza your favorite. Then having a house full of your friends. I lived for those moments in life. Watching you laugh and smile while you were chilling with your friends.
Now the house is empty, aside from Daimond and I, of course I’ll order Barros pepperoni pizza and then I’ll put on some Stranger Things to watch. This year I found a cupcake shop that we’ve never been to, it was in Scottsdale and yes I bought a dozen of assorted cupcakes to try.
You have a wonderful friend who stopped by and hung balloons in your area, I was totally surprised when I seen them it made me cry a bit. Just remembering all your past birthdays.
I’m left to guess the kind of person you would be today or what things you would be doing. How would we be celebrating your birthday and so many other things you had yet to do. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to have you here with us. I know your spirit is still here with me and I see all your ways to let me know you’re near. I just wish I could reach right out and hug you. I’ll try not to cry too much but I can’t guarantee that as I celebrate your 22nd birthday here.
Tell your dad I said hi and I hope he’s got something grand planned for you today.
I love you and miss you more than all the stars in the universe. ❤️
Love Mom

02/19/2024

I cry every year when this memory pops up, I remember the drive home like it happened yesterday, tears were just pouring down my face and all I could pray for is that she didn’t pass away on that ride home without me 😭 I was so scared, I remember it all so well. 😔

Great news, I’ll be taking Anya home tonight...She asked me yesterday and I did what ever I could to make it happen...I was able to have her bed moved into the living room so that I could lay on the couch next to her...Her and I will be connected at the hip...I feel she’ll be most comfortable there...Any family and friends please get in contact with me if you’d like to see her...She is most of the time sleeping with very rare moments of awareness...My beautiful sweet, silly and amazing kiddo gets to go home...🎉
We Are Strong
💛🎗💛

01/06/2024

Please send prayers for Naomi 💗

She is getting a lot weaker. They upped her meds and it still doesn't seem to be helping. We are starting to really see a big difference.

01/03/2024

From Team Anya, we want to send our deepest condolences to Hannah’s family and friends. I believe Anya will make sure to show her around and introduce Hannah to all the other children gone too soon.

Please send prayers of support and strength for Hannah’s family and friends as they navigate these next few weeks.

Today the most courageous amazing young lady won her fight against cancer. She laid her sword down and walked right through those gates of heaven feeling pain free with that beautiful smile on her face. Although our hearts are shattered we are at peace knowing she doesn’t have to suffer anymore. Hannah is forever by our side, I know I’m going to miss her something fierce 💔