06/03/2026
I understand covenant language. I will use it at times.
But I don't look at people and go, "I'm covenant with you and I'm not covenant with you."
I just look at all of them, value them for who they are. But I understand clearly the level of relationship that I can have with them.
Some people are just at a distance. So I don't look at them and go, "Oh, you're at a distance."
I'm still going to love them. But they don't have the deeper access to my life, and I have less expectations upon their life.
And I just have to be okay with that.
For others, I look at them like: they have deep access to my life, I have deep access to their life, and I have a much higher level of expectation in that relationship.
So I don't look at relationships as being in or out of anything.
I just understand that particular relationship and how I relate to it.
Therefore, I don't live this "inner circle / outer circle" mentality.
I do like clarity in relationship. But like The Well itself—we still have a membership. We have it very intentionally. It's a great value to us because it helps to clarify the levels of responsibility and expectations we can have in those relationships.
But on a gathering of people, I don't walk around thinking, "Oh, they are in and they are out."
But if I am mentoring or if I'm speaking into their life, I can look at that and say:
"Okay, because they became a member and we agreed to walk in a covenant relationship and a more formal process, I know I have this level of authority and responsibility to speak in their life."
While somebody else may be there, and I'm going to serve them as much as I possibly can. But I also understand they've not granted me the same level of authority in this relationship as this person over here has.
Here's the principle: different relationships require different boundaries.
Not because some people are more valuable than others, but because different levels of commitment create different levels of access and expectation.
You can love everyone equally while stewarding relationships differently.
The person who's made a formal covenant with you gets more access, more input, more accountability than someone who's just attending casually.
That's not elitism. That's wisdom.
Because if you try to have the same level of investment in everyone, you'll burn out and be ineffective with the people who've actually committed to walk with you.
Clarity in relationship protects everyone—you, them, and the mission.
đź’¬ Need help with relational boundaries?
Comment LEADERSHIP below.