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HEAL4U is an Advocate Monster Truck nonprofit program empowering survivors of abuse through strategic strategiey guidance (no legal advice).
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10/12/2026

Fact! Stand firm & Stay Savage Warriors!

If your child shows you something cruel on their phone, your first reaction matters.Imagine your child quietly handing y...
09/30/2026

If your child shows you something cruel on their phone, your first reaction matters.

Imagine your child quietly handing you their phone and saying, “Look what they’re saying about me.”

Before you start calling parents, messaging the school, demanding names, or telling them to delete the app, remember: they just trusted you with something they may have been scared or embarrassed to show you.

Start here: “Show me. You’re not in trouble.” Then resist the urge to immediately delete everything.

If it’s cyberbullying, preserve what happened first. Save screenshots showing the message or post, username, date and time when possible. Don’t respond to or forward the harmful messages. Once you have preserved the evidence, you can block the account and report the content through the platform.

We recommend these steps because online content can disappear quickly, while documentation can help parents report what happened.

And here’s something parents should be thinking about right now: this isn’t a tiny corner of kids’ lives anymore. The CDC’s newly released 2025 Youth Health in Focus data, published in September 2026, reports that about 1 in 3 U.S. high school students used social media every hour or more in 2025. That statistic does not mean social media causes bullying, but it does remind us how much of our kids’ social world can exist on a screen that parents never see.

https://www.cdc.gov/yrbs/yhif/files/2025/YHIF-2015-2025-Final-508.pdf

So make an agreement with your child before there is a problem: “If something happens online that makes you uncomfortable, you can show it to me. You won’t lose your phone just because you asked me for help.”

Because if children believe telling us automatically means losing their phone, their apps or all of their privacy, we may accidentally teach them to hide the very things we need them to bring to us.

The goal isn’t to monitor every second of their digital life. The goal is to make YOU one of the people they come to when that digital life goes sideways.

Stay Savage! 💜⚔️💜

You’re sitting in the courthouse hallway with your binder on your lap when your attorney asks, “What are the three bigge...
09/28/2026

You’re sitting in the courthouse hallway with your binder on your lap when your attorney asks, “What are the three biggest things you need the judge to understand today?” And your brain goes, Well…where do I even START? So you start with the missed exchange from last month, which reminds you of the school issue, which connects to that awful text from February, which reminds you of what happened at mediation…and suddenly you’re trying to explain three years of your life in six minutes.

This is one of the hardest shifts in family court: the things that hurt you the most emotionally aren’t automatically the things that communicate your case most clearly. When everything feels important, everything gets presented—and the strongest information can disappear inside the volume.

Before your next attorney meeting, mediation, or hearing, make yourself a ONE-PAGE case map. At the top write:
“What am I asking for?”
Under that: “What facts directly support it?”
Then: “What evidence proves those facts?”

That forces you to work backward from the issue instead of forward from the entire history. You’re not erasing what happened; you’re organizing it so another human being can actually follow it. Save this and build your first one-page map before you touch the giant binder again. If you’re learning how to turn years of family-court chaos into organized, usable information, you’ll find education, strategy resources and community my new community!

You finally stop replying to the 11:47 p.m. message that has absolutely nothing to do with an emergency…and then another...
09/26/2026

You finally stop replying to the 11:47 p.m. message that has absolutely nothing to do with an emergency…and then another one comes in. Then another. By morning it’s, “Wow. Guess you’re ignoring me now.” And there’s that familiar pull: I should answer so they know they didn’t get to me. But here’s the trap—positive attention isn’t the only attention that can keep a high-conflict dynamic alive. Sometimes anger, defending yourself, correcting every accusation, or sending the perfect five-paragraph comeback still gives the other person exactly what the interaction may be seeking: your attention, your emotional energy, and continued access to you. That’s why “narcissistic supply” is better understood as a pattern of seeking attention, validation, control, or emotional reaction—not as some magical substance every person with narcissistic traits needs in exactly the same way.

So before you respond, ask one question: Does this actually require an answer, or do I just feel compelled to react? If it concerns the kids, logistics, safety, or something genuinely necessary, handle the necessary part and leave the emotional bait sitting right where you found it. If nothing requires a response, silence can simply be silence—not punishment, not a game, not a strategy to make somebody chase you. Save this for the next time your nervous system tells you that you MUST answer immediately. And if you’re learning how to communicate strategically in high-conflict situations, you’ll find education, resources, strategy support and community inside Family Court Help⁠.

💜⚔️💜 Survivor Advocacy Briefing:1. Arizona family-court professionals just focused on new legislation and the family-cou...
09/19/2026

💜⚔️💜 Survivor Advocacy Briefing:

1. Arizona family-court professionals just focused on new legislation and the family-court/DCS intersection

Jurisdiction: Arizona
Type: Family-court training / emerging practice development
Date: September 18, 2026

The Arizona Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts held its 2026 Orientation & Training Conference yesterday at ASU’s Beus Center for Law and Society in Phoenix. The multidisciplinary training brought together judges, attorneys, mental-health professionals, mediators and other family-court professionals, with programming focused on recent Arizona legislative developments and the intersection of family court, dependency proceedings and DCS.

The timing matters because Arizona family-court professionals are now working under major 2026 statutory changes involving domestic violence, coercive control, parenting time and child safety.

Why it matters: Watch what judges, GALs, evaluators and attorneys are being trained to recognize. Survivors frequently experience family court, DCS and protective-order proceedings as separate systems even though the evidence overlaps. Your documentation should therefore be built so the same underlying facts—dates, conduct, child impact, police/DCS involvement and supporting exhibits—can be understood consistently across systems.

Sources= Arizona AFCC is also listing an upcoming “Safety First: Family Violence in the Context of Family Law” online program for September 29–October 1. https://womengiving.org/about/certification/

Arizona AFCC — events and training⁠: https://azafcc.org/events/

2. The 50/50 custody movement just expanded again — Louisiana and Mississippi are the newest states

Jurisdictions: Louisiana and Mississippi
Type: Enacted custody laws / national family-court trend
Latest report: September 18, 2026

Louisiana and Mississippi have joined at least five other states with laws establishing equal or approximately equal parenting time as the starting point in custody cases. Mississippi now requires courts to begin with equally shared parenting time; a parent seeking something different must present evidence showing why 50/50 is not in the child’s best interest. Louisiana changed its statutory wording so custody “shall” be divided equally rather than merely saying it “should” be.

They join Kentucky, Arkansas, West Virginia, Florida and Missouri in the growing shared-parenting movement. Judges can override the presumption when credible evidence supports another arrangement.

The survivor-safety debate is significant. Critics argue that starting with 50/50 can create an additional evidentiary burden for a protective parent who says equal time would expose a child to an unsafe parent. Supporters argue the presumption creates a neutral starting point and reduces custody conflict.

Why it matters: This trend makes pre-filing evidence preparation increasingly important. In a presumption state, “I don’t think 50/50 is safe” may not be enough. A survivor may need organized, admissible evidence showing why equal parenting time is inconsistent with the child’s best interests—particularly evidence of domestic violence, coercive control, threats, substance abuse, unsafe caregiving or measurable impact on the child.

SOURCE = WLRN/Florida Phoenix — More states embrace 50-50 child custody⁠: https://www.wlrn.org/law-justice/2026-09-18/more-states-embrace-50-50-child-custody-in-divorce-cases

3. Fresh Indiana custody decision shows why domestic-violence evidence and precise court orders both matter

Jurisdiction: Indiana
Type: Court decision — Green v. McDaniel, 26A-DC-526
Decided: September 17, 2026
Status: Memorandum decision; persuasive rather than binding precedent

The Indiana Court of Appeals affirmed a custody modification that gave the father legal and primary physical custody after evidence showed the children were being exposed to domestic violence in the mother’s household. Evidence included GAL testimony, a probable-cause affidavit, reports of repeated volatile arguments and testimony describing an incident in which the mother’s partner allegedly threatened to kill her while she was holding a child and she suffered visible injuries.

But the appellate court did something equally important: it reversed the contempt finding against the mother. The trial judge had held her in contempt for exposing the children to domestic violence and failing to exclude her partner from the home. The appellate court found that the existing orders had not actually required her to exclude him. Without a clear order commanding that conduct, the court said she could not be held in contempt for willfully violating it.

Why it matters: There are two strategy lessons here. First, exposure to domestic violence can materially affect a custody determination. Second, courts cannot simply turn a generalized “best interests” obligation into a contempt command after the fact. When requesting protective conditions, ask for specific, enforceable language—who may be present, where exchanges occur, what contact is prohibited, whether supervision is required and exactly what each parent must do.

SOURCE = Green v. McDaniel — Indiana Court of Appeals decision⁠: https://law.justia.com/cases/indiana/court-of-appeals/2026/26a-dc-00526.html

4. California has a package of survivor and victim-support legislation sitting on the Governor’s desk

Jurisdiction: California
Type: Proposed legislation — not yet enacted
Status update: September 17, 2026

The California Victim Compensation Board’s newest legislative update identifies several victim-related bills now awaiting gubernatorial action. AB 2297 would require courts to order restitution for a victim’s economic losses even when a defendant enters a diversion program. AB 2247 would establish the T.H.R.I.V.E. pilot in Los Angeles County to fund mental-health and counseling services for young survivors of gun violence. SB 891 would establish a Missing and Murdered Indigenous Persons Justice Program within the California Department of Justice.

California has already enacted related funding this year: AB 109 includes $12.5 million for Trauma Recovery Center grants, including funding for Flexible Emergency Cash Assistance.

Why it matters: Survivor safety is not just about restraining orders. Economic loss, emergency cash, trauma treatment and access to coordinated services can determine whether someone can actually remain separated from an abusive situation. Advocates should watch which of these bills the governor signs because they could create additional referral and recovery resources.

SOURCE = California Victim Compensation Board — September 17 legislative update⁠: https://victims.ca.gov/legislative-update-9-17-2026/

5. Two live DOJ opportunities are especially worth putting on the survivor-advocacy radar

Jurisdiction: Federal / United States
Type: Funding opportunities
Deadlines: September 29 and October 8, 2026

The Office on Violence Against Women currently has its Disability Grant Program open through September 29. It funds training, consultation and improved services addressing domestic violence, dating violence, stalking, sexual assault and caregiver abuse against people with disabilities and Deaf people. Eligible applicants include qualifying victim-service organizations and certain nonprofit organizations serving people with disabilities.

A second opportunity is particularly interesting from a court-access perspective: the Electronic Service Protection Order Court Pilot Program, open through October 8. It funds state, territorial and Tribal courts working through multidisciplinary partnerships to develop lawful electronic methods of serving protection orders.

Why it matters: Electronic service could address a very practical protection-order problem: an order provides limited protection if the respondent cannot be served promptly. And for nonprofit planning, the Disability Grant is another signal that accessibility should be built into survivor programs from the beginning rather than treated as an add-on.

DOJ Office on Violence Against Women — current funding opportunities⁠: https://www.justice.gov/ovw/funding-opportunities

Survivor Advocacy Briefing — September 9, 2026(Related States: ARIZONA & ILLINOIS)ARIZONA: #1. Arizona expands parental ...
09/09/2026

Survivor Advocacy Briefing — September 9, 2026
(Related States: ARIZONA & ILLINOIS)

ARIZONA:

#1. Arizona expands parental rights during DCS investigations on September 12

Arizona HB 2661 is enacted law and takes effect September 12, 2026, Arizona’s general effective date for the 2026 session. The law changes what parents must be told when Department of Child Safety workers first contact them during an abuse or neglect investigation.

The new law specifically adds that parents may temporarily delegate guardianship of a child and may file a complaint or notify juvenile court if they believe their rights have been violated. DCS must also ask parents to identify relatives or other adults with a significant relationship to the child who could provide safe placement, and must document that information. A parent’s failure to sign an acknowledgment does not waive the underlying rights.

Why this matters: Parents involved with DCS often feel they have no choice but to comply with every request made during the first contact. Arizona law already recognizes important limits on what DCS can require without consent or a court order; HB 2661 makes the notice and documentation process more explicit.

Arizona Legislature (HB 2661 summary): https://www.azleg.gov/legtext/57leg/2R/summary/H.HB2661_012926_HOUSEENGROSSED.DOCX.htm

#2. Arizona will require electronic monitoring and no-contact conditions in certain felony DV cases

Arizona SB 1723, Chapter 242, is enacted law and also takes effect September 12, 2026 under the general effective-date rule. The legislation changes both protective-order law and pretrial release requirements.

For defendants released while charged with a felony domestic-violence offense resulting in physical harm, the law requires two release conditions where applicable: electronic monitoring and no contact with the victim. It also expressly allows judges determining release conditions to consider the results of a domestic-violence risk or lethality assessment presented to the court.

The same legislation adds another survivor-protection tool after a protective-order hearing: when a defendant has a prior history of harming the plaintiff and withholding identifying information could create a risk of physical harm, the court may require the defendant to disclose information such as residence, employment or vehicle information.

Why this matters: Release from jail can be one of the highest-risk periods in an abuse case. This law moves Arizona closer to treating release planning as a victim-safety issue, rather than simply deciding whether a defendant will return to court.

For survivors, it makes risk evidence especially important: threats, strangulation, fi***rm access, stalking, escalating behavior and prior order violations should be documented in a way that can be communicated quickly when release decisions are being made.

Read enacted Arizona SB 1723 (Chapter 242): https://www.azleg.gov/legtext/57leg/2r/laws/0242.htm

ILLINOIS:

#3 Illinois has enacted statewide lethality assessments for high-risk domestic-violence cases

Illinois Gov. JB Pritzker signed SB 3048 into law on August 18. It becomes effective January 1, 2027 and establishes statewide safeguards for identifying intimate-partner-violence victims at elevated risk of serious injury or death.

The law requires development and use of domestic-violence lethality-assessment procedures, with specialized law-enforcement training. Victim participation is consent-based, officers must document when an assessment cannot be completed, and survivors are to receive referrals to domestic-violence services. Assessment records are protected from ordinary public disclosure.

Why this matters nationally: This reflects a broader shift away from asking only “Did an assault occur?” toward asking “What is the risk of serious or lethal violence next?”

That distinction is enormously important in family court too. A history containing strangulation, escalating threats, weapons, stalking or obsessive control may indicate a risk profile very different from what a single police report reveals.

Illinois Governor’s Office: (newly enacted survivor protections⁠) https://gov-pritzker-newsroom.prezly.com/gov-pritzker-strengthens-protections-and-access-for-survivors-of-domestic-violence-and-sexual-assault

#4 Illinois also modernizes protective orders for digital stalking, doxing and deepfake abuse

A second Illinois law, SB 3020 / Public Act 104-0754, was signed August 7, 2026 and takes effect January 1, 2027. It expands the state’s domestic-violence and protective-order framework to recognize modern forms of technology-facilitated harassment.

The law covers conduct including repeated electronic contact, electronic tracking or surveillance, doxing, nonconsensual distribution of intimate images, and threats involving AI-generated or altered sexual images. It also requires courts statewide to make remote protective-order hearings available, absent good cause to deny the request.

Why this matters for post-separation abuse: Coercive control increasingly happens through technology. An abusive person does not need to physically follow someone to create constant surveillance; location tracking, repeated digital contact, fake sexual images, public disclosure of personal information and third-party messaging can accomplish many of the same objectives.

For evidence strategy, survivors should preserve more than screenshots. When possible, document:

DATE → PLATFORM/DEVICE → CONDUCT → HOW YOU KNOW IT OCCURRED → SAFETY IMPACT → ORIGINAL DIGITAL RECORD

That makes the evidence much stronger than a folder containing disconnected screenshots.

Illinois Governor’s Office (SB 3020 enacted protections⁠): https://gov-pritzker-newsroom.prezly.com/gov-pritzker-signs-legislation-ensuring-women-and-domestic-violence-survivors-are-seen-and-safe

09/07/2026

New investigation raises serious questions about Arizona DCS oversight of group homes

A fresh Associated Press investigation published September 4 examines the death of 9-year-old Jakob Blodgett while he was living in an Arizona group home operated by Sunshine Residential Homes. The child had Type 1 diabetes, and reporting describes missed insulin and serious failures in recognizing and responding to his medical condition.

Despite those failures, the provider reportedly did not receive significant licensing penalties related to the death. The investigation also describes broader concerns about DCS oversight, provider leverage, political donations, and the state’s dependence on large group-home operators. Arizona officials have acknowledged deficiencies in staff training, while criminal investigations and civil litigation remain ongoing.

Why this matters: This is more than a tragic individual case. It raises a core civil-rights and child-welfare question: What accountability exists when the state removes a child from a parent for safety, then places that child into a system where basic medical care fails?

For advocates working with dependency families, this is also a reminder that placement should not be treated as the end of the safety inquiry. Families can document concerns about medical care, medication administration, training deficiencies, missed appointments, placement conditions, and DCS responses.

Note: Associated Press investigation on Arizona group-home oversight⁠

09/07/2026

This looks amazing! Unbecoming who you were that was created from trauma can be life changing… opening up your soul to release it is scary because for awhile it becomes our identity!

Transforming your pain into purpose takes grit & determination!

09/07/2026

Arizona’s new kinship-placement law takes effect (September 12)

Arizona HB 2035 is enacted law, not a proposal. It was signed in June and becomes operative on Arizona’s September 12, 2026 general effective date. The law significantly changes how courts and the Department of Child Safety approach placement of children removed from their homes.

The law creates a presumption that placement with an adult relative, extended family member, or person with a significant relationship with the child is in the child’s best interests unless the evidence shows otherwise. It also requires courts at preliminary protective hearings to make written findings and expands DCS obligations to identify and evaluate family connections.

Why this matters: This shifts the starting point in dependency cases. Instead of relatives effectively having to prove why they should be chosen over institutional or unrelated foster placement, the law puts greater weight on maintaining family and relational connections—subject, importantly, to child safety.

For grandparents and extended family members, documentation becomes critical early: relationship with child → caregiving history → ability to meet needs → home/safety information → availability for immediate placement.

The Arizona Supreme Court has also adopted emergency juvenile-court rule amendments to implement the new placement legislation, effective the same day. Those rules are open for public comment through October 1.

Arizona Legislature — HB 2035 text⁠

09/06/2026

It’s ok to sit still… you are worthy of peace!

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