Am I The A’hole?

Am I The A’hole? you're the as***le
(2)

08/26/2026

AITA for refusing to loan my girlfriend’s dad $8,000?

I’m a 23-year-old guy who has had a decent-paying job since graduating college. I’ve been dating my girlfriend, whom I met in college, for about four years, and we moved into a townhouse together about a year ago.

Her dad, Frank, is self-employed and works a blue-collar job. He was recently out of work for about a month because of health issues, but he has since returned to work.

Last night, Frank randomly texted me, asking me to call him. When I did, he explained that they had a serious problem with their upstairs bathroom. The shower wall had been damaged, and after looking at it, he initially thought the shower needed to be replaced.

They got a second opinion, though, and apparently discovered much bigger problems. Some of the plumbing had been installed incorrectly by the builder, and the plywood underneath the bathroom floor had also been damaged.

What started as a shower repair has apparently turned into a major renovation costing around $8,000.

I offered to help with whatever work we could handle ourselves, but Frank said most of it needed to be done professionally.

I thought that was the end of the conversation, but then he paused and said, “I hate asking you this, but is there any chance I could borrow most of that money from you?”

He explained that work had been slow and they didn’t have the money to cover the repairs.

I was honestly shocked. I told him I wanted to help if I could, but $8,000 is a pretty significant amount of money and I needed time to think about it.

He then pointed out that I had recently bought my dream car and taken my girlfriend on a nice vacation, basically implying that because I could afford those things, I should be able to afford the loan.

I didn’t agree to anything.

When I told my girlfriend about it, she was actually furious at her dad, not at me. Apparently, this isn’t the first time Frank has borrowed money from family and failed to repay it.

Her brother, who’s around 20 and currently in college, is still owed roughly $2,000 from Frank for a truck repair. When her brother asked about getting the money back nearly a year later, Frank apparently responded by bringing up how much money he’d spent raising his children and implying that this somehow outweighed the loan.

Frank also has poor credit, and their car was repossessed a couple of months ago.

So while I genuinely have the money and lending him $8,000 wouldn’t put me in financial difficulty, I’m extremely uncomfortable with the idea of loaning him that much.

I care about Frank and his family, and I expect that my girlfriend and I will eventually get married. I also understand that this isn’t some unnecessary luxury. They need a functioning bathroom.

But I don’t think buying a car or taking my girlfriend on vacation means I’m responsible for financing her parents’ emergencies. More importantly, based on his history, I have very little confidence that I’d actually get the $8,000 back.

I’m also worried that if I help this time, I’ll become the person everyone calls whenever there’s a financial emergency.

I don’t want to abandon someone who genuinely needs help, but I also don’t think I’m obligated to loan someone thousands of dollars when I already know they have a history of not repaying family members.

AITA for not wanting to loan my girlfriend’s dad the $8,000?

08/26/2026

AITA for asking my husband not to use my office’s break room as his personal office?

I rent a single office in a shared office space with four other individually rented offices. The lease is under my name, and the space itself is fairly small.

There’s one tiny break room with a table that can comfortably seat only two people, as well as a small waiting room with four chairs.

My husband and I run a business together. I’m the primary person who uses the office because I meet with clients there. Since he was laid off, he works from home handling calls, scheduling appointments, and other administrative tasks.

Because I’m meeting with clients from around 9 AM to 7 PM, I usually keep my office door closed to maintain privacy.

One day, my husband drove me to work and asked if he could sit in the break room for a little while to answer some emails. I agreed because I assumed it would be a one-time thing.

Since then, whenever he drives me to work, he has started using the break room as his personal workspace. He’ll sit there for one or two hours at a time, make calls to clients, and do his work until I eventually ask him to leave. Honestly, I have no idea how long he would stay if I didn’t say anything.

I told him that I don’t think this is an appropriate use of such a small shared break room. There are other people renting offices in the building, and they may need to use the room to eat, take a break, or simply have somewhere to sit.

Nobody has personally complained to him, but he argues that what he’s doing is perfectly acceptable because the room is labeled “Staff Room” and he’s technically my staff.

I told him that, regardless of the label, using a tiny shared break room as his office for hours every day is inconsiderate to the other people who share the space.

I’m not saying he can never use it. I just don’t think he should be occupying it for hours at a time on a regular basis, especially when I’m already using the office to meet with clients all day.

AITA for asking my husband to stop using the shared break room as his personal office?

08/26/2026

AITA for cutting my sister off from my streaming subscriptions after moving out?

I’ve been living with my sister for about 10 years. For the first two years, I was underage, but for the past eight years, we’ve split the rent between us.

We always had an agreement that I would handle the utility bills, including electricity and water. That arrangement continued until about four months ago.

My sister has three children, and at some point, she also moved her boyfriend and his two children into the house.

My sister has paid for the internet for the past 10 years. On the other hand, I’ve been paying for pretty much all of our streaming subscriptions, including Amazon, HBO, Hulu, Netflix, Paramount+, Peacock, etc.

I’m moving out soon, and I’m taking my own furniture with me. My brothers and mom have suggested that I should also change the passwords to all the streaming services I pay for once I move out, especially since my sister will no longer be paying for the internet.

Part of me feels like that’s a bit of a dick move. I’ve always allowed other family members who don’t even live with us to use my subscriptions, and I don’t want to punish my nieces and nephews because of the situation.

At the same time, I’m starting to feel like I shouldn’t continue subsidizing my sister’s household after I move out. She has a boyfriend now, and he should presumably be contributing to the household expenses as well.

I’m not trying to cut my nieces and nephews off or be petty. I just don’t think I should continue paying for services in a household I no longer live in.

I’m considering changing the passwords and letting my sister know that if she wants to keep using the services, she can start paying for them herself.

AITA for cutting my sister off from the streaming services I’ve been paying for now that I’m moving out?

08/24/2026

I'm single, and I regularly reply to a few girls on Twitter, online friends sort of. It's nothing serious, i reply to them, they reply to me, all on public accounts, nothing in secret.

My best friend (who has a boyfriend, and pretends to not use twitter) recently got mad at me for talking to these girls, she made an account i guess to stalk me or something?

I'm confused because I'm not in a relationship, and neither of these girls are people I'm committed to, nor have I met any of them or vice versa, I don't see why me talking to other girls should be a problem, especially since she has a boyfriend herself.

I haven't been hiding anything or lying about who I talk to.

One thing i should mention: Known her for 4 years, about a year ago i confessed to her that i have feelings, 3 months later she got a boyfriend (a guy she knew i hate) though i respected her decision, and moved on.

Now, AITAH here, or is there something I'm missing?

Edit: I do realize in terms of being a gentleman or a respectful and respectable man, i shouldn't be talking to that many women, but it's not like flirting, or hanging out, just online friends and a few replies every now and then.

08/24/2026

AITA for telling my brother I think his parenting is awful?

I (28M) have a brother (40M) whom I only met about two years ago. There’s a very long story behind that, but I won’t get into it here. Because we didn’t grow up together, we’re naturally not very close. We get along well enough, but we definitely don’t have a typical sibling relationship.

Honestly, my brother can be pretty arrogant. He often acts like he’s better than everyone else and, in general, isn’t the easiest person to be around.

He has three children: a 17-year-old son, a 15-year-old daughter, and a 14-year-old son. From what I’ve seen, they don’t have many rules at home and the kids generally do whatever they want.

They don’t seem particularly interested in school, extracurricular activities, or spending time together as a family. They often eat separately, usually in their bedrooms while watching TV. They can also be quite rude and sarcastic toward other family members and constantly demand money from their parents.

I’ve always gotten the impression that my brother is afraid to discipline them, although he’d never admit that.

That said, they aren’t my children, so I stay out of it. I don’t tell my brother how to parent, especially because whenever parenting comes up, his response is usually, “Wait until your kids are older.”

I have two children of my own, a 3-year-old daughter and a 1-month-old baby, so obviously I’m still in the early stages of parenting myself.

Yesterday, we were all having dinner at my sister’s house when my 3-year-old had a tantrum and hit me.

I immediately set a boundary and told her that hitting wasn’t acceptable and that if she couldn’t calm down and be kind, she’d have to have a time-out.

She ended up having a three-minute time-out. Afterwards, I sat down with her, explained why what she did was wrong, and she apologized. She gave me a hug, and we moved on with the evening.

My brother then came over and told me I was being way too soft with her.

He said I needed to raise my voice and be stricter because otherwise I was going to raise disrespectful children.

I tried to brush it off because, again, I don’t want to get into a parenting argument with him.

But he kept going.

After several minutes of him criticizing my parenting, I finally told him, “You’re probably the last person I’d take parenting advice from.”

He asked what I meant, so I explained.

I told him that I don’t think his parenting is particularly good and that I’ve witnessed his kids being disrespectful toward other family members on multiple occasions. I told him that he doesn’t really have the right to criticize my parenting when his own children have very little discipline or respect for other people.

He then asked, “So you think my parenting is awful?”

I said, “Yes.”

Then I walked away.

He hasn’t spoken to me since, and honestly, I’m not particularly interested in reaching out either.

My sisters, however, keep telling me that I should apologize and that I’m being immature and unreasonable.

I don’t regret what I said. I never criticized his parenting before this. He was the one who decided to lecture me about my parenting after seeing one interaction with my daughter.

At the same time, I know I was pretty blunt and probably could have handled it more diplomatically.

So, AITA for telling my brother that I think his parenting is awful after he repeatedly criticized mine?

08/23/2026

No, I don’t think you’re the as***le here.

You both agreed on 8:00 AM, but when he didn’t wake up until around 9:00, you had already waited roughly an hour. Going for a short walk nearby while he slept is completely reasonable. You weren’t abandoning him—you were on a trip and wanted to actually experience Madrid.

The Barcelona situation is even less convincing. You agreed to meet at 20:00, and at 19:45 you were literally just outside the hostel, 20 steps away, calling your parents and smoking. You weren’t even late.

What stands out is that he seems to have an expectation that you should remain physically beside him whenever he’s asleep, even though no such agreement was made. Calling your behavior “shameful” and repeatedly confronting you over something so minor is disproportionate.

That said, there was one thing you could have handled better: in Madrid, you could have sent him a quick message like, “I’m going for a short walk nearby while you sleep. Let me know when you’re up.” That would have removed any ambiguity. But his reaction still seems excessive.

And you actually seem to have been accommodating him quite a lot you went along with the early alarm, waited for him, avoided major attractions without him, went along with the distant stroller shopping, and tried to make sure he was awake.

A trip with a friend doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking minute together.

Verdict: NTA. He may have different expectations about traveling together, but instead of communicating those expectations, he seems to be treating your normal independence as disrespect. That’s the bigger issue.

08/23/2026

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 7 years. We both have a child from a previous relationship, and her ex passed away a couple years ago so her son is basically mine.

I've been raising him since he was about 5. Great kid, and always gives 100% effort for his team. I drive him to every practise and game, pay for food and hotels on tournament weekends, and pay for private training on a regular basis. She has covered his season fees which have recently grown to around $1300 for the year as his level has increased.

I have always paid a little more on our expenses - if rent is $2500/month, I pay 1300. If groceries are $200, I pay $120. I pay for most of our gas, though we split our car payment equally. Insurance and utilities I've volunteered to pay considerably more. When it comes to lifestyle, she funds her own discretionary spending but I pay for almost everything else. From eating out to drinks on the weekends, it's all me.

Over the years she has managed to save up almost $50k. This is awesome, and I'm proud of her. When she gets a bonus at work it goes straight into her savings, no questions asked. I, on the other hand, have only managed to save a few thousand, despite making much more than her (80k vs 130k).

I also take her out constantly. If she's ever offered to pay for a dinner she invited me to she will offer only to pay for herself, and I never let her. She's been very open about not wanting to work and wanting to be a stay at home mom. I support this in theory, but I don't make enough for her to do it yet. I'm also not sure what's in it for me since she technically doesn't have my child and we split all housework. Sometimes I think I'm being selfish when I feel this way, but with the disparity growing in our savings accounts I wonder if I'm not being selfish enough.

This morning it sort of reached a head when she said the fees had to be in today for the new season and asked if I could pay for half. I asked her why she couldn't take it from her savings and she asked me why I couldn't. I told her I only had a few K in there and I'm trying to save up and she scoffed at me, saying I never contribute for his sports. I asked her if the roles were reversed would she be paying for half of my daughters' sports and she said no because I have a co-parent who contributes and she doesn't.

We didn't get into a fight, but she left the conversation by saying she will never ask me to pitch in again. This really left a bad taste in my mouth - I do contribute, a lot and more than she does for our shared expenses. Her money is her money, but my income has increasingly become our income. This has allowed her to become more financially secure while I have done the opposite.

AITAH here?

08/21/2026

AITAH for using a discount code when replacing my girlfriend’s curling iron?

Yesterday, I accidentally broke one of my girlfriend’s curling irons after I knocked it onto the floor. I immediately apologized and went online to replace it.

I found the official TYMO website, ordered the same curling iron she had, and also decided to surprise her with a nicer upgraded Gold Plus model.

After placing the order, I showed her what I bought. She noticed that I had used a discount code.

She got upset and said that using a discount made it seem like I wasn’t genuinely sorry. According to her, if I were actually sorry, I would have paid full price instead of looking for a deal.

I was honestly confused. She was getting the exact replacement for the one I broke, plus an upgraded curling iron that I was buying for her as an extra gift. The discount didn’t change what she was receiving at all.

I explained that I didn’t understand how paying more money for the exact same products would somehow prove that I was more sincere. If anything, I thought getting a discount was the smarter thing to do.

We argued about it for a while, and eventually I got so frustrated that I canceled the entire order and reordered everything at full price just to end the argument.

But now I’m sitting here wondering if I’m missing something. Is using a discount code when replacing something you accidentally broke actually cheap or insensitive? Would paying full price really make the apology more meaningful?

Edit: Thanks for all the responses. I haven’t been able to reply to many comments because I was busy writing a breakup text. The whole situation became so ridiculous that I genuinely started questioning whether I was the problem, so I really appreciate everyone’s perspective.

Edit 2: I canceled the original order, but I ended up using the discount code on the replacement anyway. I’m giving the new curling iron to my mom instead. I’m pretty sure she’ll appreciate it.

08/20/2026

My fiancé and I have lived together for almost two years. Before we started dating, he usually hosted Thanksgiving because he was single and didn’t have kids. He and his mom also enjoy cooking together, so Thanksgiving has always been something they did as a way to bond. His mom also doesn’t get along very well with his older brother’s wife.

Last year, we hosted Thanksgiving at our apartment, and honestly, it was a lot for me. His mom stayed with us for about four days, we paid for professional cleaning, he and his mom basically took over the kitchen, and we had multiple guests coming in and out for hours.

By the end of it, Thanksgiving felt more like work than an actual holiday.

This year, I told my fiancé that I don’t think hosting Thanksgiving should automatically fall on us every year. I suggested that his brother host this time since their mom is the one traveling from out of town.

There wasn’t a huge argument, but I did get some pushback. The main reason was that his mom doesn’t get along with his sister-in-law, so having his brother host apparently wouldn’t be ideal. I was also told that because his mom lives out of town, it’s simply more convenient for my fiancé to host the entire family like he has in the past.

But my issue is that this is now our shared home. I pay half the rent, and I feel like my opinion should carry equal weight when it comes to having overnight guests and hosting a large family gathering.

I’m not saying his family shouldn’t celebrate Thanksgiving together, and I’m not saying his mom shouldn’t visit. I just don’t think our apartment should automatically be the Thanksgiving location every year simply because that was the tradition before I lived here.

The way this has been framed makes me feel like I’m somehow disrupting a family tradition by asking someone else to host this year.

AITA for asking that Thanksgiving be hosted somewhere else this year?

UPDATE: We actually moved into a new apartment after getting engaged, so the apartment we’re discussing is a completely new space for both of us.

Also, I’m not just contributing financially this year. When Thanksgiving was hosted at his apartment before we lived together, I paid over $300 for wine and spirits. Last year, when we hosted at our apartment, I paid for the professional cleaning service as well as the wine and spirits.

His brother and his wife do attend Thanksgiving, so his mom and his sister-in-law are capable of being around each other for a few hours. Their issues are mostly the typical family stuff—his mom disagrees with their parenting style and thinks her son could have “done better.” Nothing dramatic, but they don’t get along.

08/19/2026

AITA for refusing to replace my roommate’s air fryer?

My roommate had an old air fryer with a damaged cord near the plug. I pointed it out several times because the cord would get extremely hot while he used it, and once I even smelled what seemed like burning plastic.

He always brushed it off and said he’d replace it eventually.

Last weekend, he left town and the air fryer was still plugged in on the kitchen counter. When I went to make coffee, I noticed the plug area was warm even though the air fryer wasn’t running. That genuinely scared me, so I unplugged it and eventually threw it away because I thought it had become a serious fire hazard.

When my roommate came back, he was furious. Apparently, his dad had given him the air fryer when he first moved out, so it had sentimental value that I didn’t know about. Now he wants me to replace it.

I understand that it was his property and technically wasn’t mine to throw away. But I warned him multiple times, and the damaged cord was showing signs that made me genuinely concerned about a fire.

I have enough money to replace it, but I don’t feel like I should be responsible for replacing something I believed was dangerous and had already warned him about.

AITA for refusing to replace it?

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