Am I The A’hole?

Am I The A’hole? you're the as***le

10/04/2026

**AITAH for leaving my family home and taking a break from college?**

I’m 21F and the middle child in a Filipino household. I have an older brother, 29M, a younger sister, 13F, and our mother, 50F.

About two months ago, I moved out of our family home and took a break from college because I felt like I couldn’t continue living the way I had been.

My brother left for college when I was 9, and because my mother was busy working, I became responsible for helping take care of my younger sister. While my brother had financial support from his father and was able to attend college far from home, I never really had that same opportunity.

Growing up, I often had to go straight home instead of joining activities or spending time with friends because I was expected to look after my sister. As I got older, I continued to feel like I was carrying responsibilities that I never chose for myself.

Whenever my sister got into trouble, I was often blamed because I was the older sister. Over time, I started feeling frustrated and resentful.

My relationship with my mother also became difficult. She would frequently criticize the way I dressed and tell me that I was trying to get attention from men. I wanted to be able to dress up, wear makeup, and express myself without feeling judged.

There was also a period when I struggled significantly with my mental health. A school counselor became concerned about me and contacted my mother. Instead of feeling supported, I felt criticized and blamed, which made things even harder.

When I started college as a nursing student, the pressure became overwhelming. I was trying to balance school, clinical duties, studying, and responsibilities at home. I had always been a strong student, so losing my motivation was very unusual for me.

My brother was helping pay my tuition, and I genuinely appreciated everything he was doing. That's also part of why I felt guilty about eventually stepping away from school.

But after years of feeling responsible for everyone else, I reached a point where I needed some space for myself.

I found a job, started saving money, moved out, and decided to take a temporary break from college.

My brother became disappointed and angry, saying that I was wasting my education. He also told me that I should let our mother "live a little" because she was finally getting the chance to enjoy her own life.

That really upset me.

I understand why my family is disappointed, and I don't expect them to completely agree with my decisions. But I keep wondering why I'm expected to sacrifice so much of my childhood and teenage years for responsibilities I never chose.

Was I wrong for leaving home and taking a break from college to build some independence for myself?

I know there are probably things I could have handled differently, but after everything that happened, I genuinely needed a change.

09/23/2026

I'm 30F and currently back in my home country visiting my family, and honestly, it has been a complete mess of drama.

My family has always been complicated.

My parents divorced when I was 18, which, honestly, was probably the best thing that could have happened for their marriage. My dad wasn't a good father or husband. He cheated on my mom and gave her an STD that nearly took her life.

While my mom was sick, he went on holiday with his friends, and I was left looking after my mother and my younger siblings during my winter break.

The family situation became so toxic that when I was 13, I moved to another country to attend boarding school because I needed to get away, mostly from my dad. He would repeatedly threaten to kick me out of the house or hit me.

When I was 21, my dad started dating an 18-year-old, and she became pregnant.

I was absolutely disgusted by the situation.

The girl also wasn't particularly nice to me. She tried to act like my stepmother and even threatened to cut me off financially on my dad's behalf.

My dad also stopped taking my younger sister, who was 15 at the time, during his custody time.

I cut my dad off after that.

Eventually, I reconnected with him because I genuinely thought he had changed. Looking back, I realize that was probably a mistake.

The child my dad had with this woman is now 8 years old.

I have refused to meet him, and honestly, I don't consider him my brother. Neither do my other siblings.

My sister had contact with him for a while, but she doesn't anymore.

Every now and then, the child's mother contacts me and tries to guilt-trip me into meeting him. She says that he should know his siblings and our family.

For context, my brother and I are both married and have children of our own.

The child's mother is no longer with my dad, and my dad isn't really involved in his youngest son's life either. He's basically a daytime, weekend, and holiday dad.

I've been completely fine with staying out of this boy's life permanently.

But his mother has contacted me so many times and worn me down to the point where I'm starting to question myself.

I don't hate this child, and none of this is his fault. But I have never wanted a relationship with him, and I don't feel that I should be forced into one because of the circumstances surrounding his birth or because his mother believes he should know his siblings.

At this point, I honestly don't even know anymore.

09/15/2026

My brother got engaged about a month ago. His fiancée posted pictures of the ring and was telling everyone it was a family ring from our grandmother.

The problem is, it isn't.

I recognized it immediately because it belonged to my ex girlfriend.

When my ex and I split up last year she left a box of stuff at my apartment and told me to donate whatever she didn't come back for. The ring was in there. It wasn't an engagement ring, just an old gold ring with a small stone that her mom had given her years ago.

My brother saw it when he was helping me move and asked if he could have it. At the time he said he wanted to take it to a jeweler and maybe reuse the stone since he had some money saved from Moon but not enough for the ring he wanted. I said sure because as far as I knew my ex didn't want any of that stuff.

Apparently he just had it cleaned, put it in a new box, and invented the entire grandmother story.

His fiancée brought it up at dinner this weekend and my mom even went along with it. She said something like "your grandmother would've loved seeing you wear it."

I looked at my brother and he gave me this look like don't say anything.

So I said, "Mom, grandma never owned that ring."

His fiancée kept asking questions and eventually I told her where it actually came from.

She got really upset, mostly because everyone had apparently been letting her believe this whole sentimental story was real. My brother says I humiliated him over something that wasn't my business and my mom thinks I should've pulled him aside instead.

His fiancée hasn't given the ring back, but from what I hear they're now fighting about the lying more than the ring itself.

AITA for saying something at dinner instead of keeping quiet?

09/15/2026

So I‘m a dad. And my daughter, who is 16, got a scholarship to go to another country for a month over the summer. It was a great scholarship, paid for all the housing, food, etc. However the flight had to come out of pocket. I ended up paying for the whole thing which was 1500 dollars.

Everything went smoothly however on the trip back is where her connecting flight got cancelled and she was stuck in LAX airport for about 22 hours. The whole situation was pretty bad as she wasn’t given any of the accommodations she was supposed to. It was a mess.

Now, months later after sending in lots of emails the airline gave a full refund for the flight. I told my daughter I got the money back and she reacted like she was getting all of it. Which I explained to her that I paid for the flight so I would be keeping the money they refunded.

She did argue back and forth with me for a while but she eventually just gave it up. So am AITA?? Because right now I’m on the fence about whether I‘m making the right choice.

09/13/2026

So basically, my friends ( 4 people) and my sisters friends ( 5 people) all were hanging out and we decided to go out to eat, nothing fancy it was just one of those sit down restaurants in my area. We went there and asked if they had a table for 11 people which surprisingly enough they did but did add that an extra charge will occurs due to the party size . ( we didn’t mind that) now as we sitting down to eat 5 of the people we are with come from the same cultural background and we realsied that they probably couldn’t eat any of the items on the menu.

we asked our server if they would be allowed to get the kids meal ( it was just some fries with a veggie burger) there was no veggie burger option for the adults not sure why and we didn’t want them to just a small side of fries. We have been here before and their side of fries isn’t that much. The server told us that due to being adults we weren’t allowed to buy of the kids menu. Which of course we respected and we all kind of just wanted to pay for the drinks we had gotten and leave to find some place the other 5 can also enjoy. ( our drinks were literally just 2 glasses of coke) as we were trying to pay and leave the manger stopped us and asked why were weren’t getting anything, to which we told them about the whole thing of not being able to eat.

As we were getting out stuff like bags and getting to leave we saw our server being yelled at by the manger and we didn’t think it was to do with us. We left and my friend forgot her phone and went back to get it. When she came out apperently on her way out she was stopped by our server and got told that we shouldn’t have came if we didn’t want to eat anything and that now she’s getting written up because we left ???

I’m not quite sure how this is our fault? But maybe I’m not seeing something here. I guess we should have re looked online to see what they were serving, ( they change daily specials a lot) but I don’t think it’s our fault for leaving. We didn’t cause any issues and even tipped on the two glasses of coke.

Are we really the issue here??

09/12/2026

I have this old cookbook that belonged to my grandma. It's not some rare collectible or anything, but she wrote little notes all over it and added recipes on random pieces of paper between the pages.

A friend of mine has gotten really into cooking lately and asked if she could borrow it for a couple weeks. I said sure because I trusted her.

Went to her place this weekend to watch Kick and saw one of the recipes from the book literally taped inside her kitchen cabinet. I asked where she got it and she casually told me she cut it out because it was easier than opening the book every time she cooked.

Apparently she'd already cut out 4 pages.

I got pretty annoyed and took the cookbook home immediately. She thinks I'm massively overreacting because the book is already old and falling apart and offered to buy me another copy. The thing is I don't care about another copy. The notes are the whole reason I kept it.

She says I never specifically told her not to remove pages and that she assumed it was basically a working recipe book since I actually use it.

I feel like "don't take scissors to someone else's book" shouldn't need to be said though.

AITA?

09/12/2026

So I'm 22F and currently staying in an apartment with my friend of two years "Rachel" 24F and her boyfriend "Dylan" 23M. For some context, Rachel and I were staying in the same hostel for about 2 years then we moved out together about a year ago.

Initially, it was agreed that Dylan would sometimes stay over at our place and I was okay with it since he's my friend too.

But then after a few months, he moved in with us, it wasn't a big "oh I'll be staying with you guys from here on" or anything. Hello just gradually moved his stuff bit by bit and before i knew it, he was my roommate.

I still let it go because I thought, how bad could it be, I knew him, he is my friend, surely everything will be fine. Boy was I wrong.

He has never paid a dime, not in the rent or the groceries or anything else and every time I brought it up, he'd say he'd pay but then wouldn't. Rachel would take everything very personal like I'm attacking him if I ask him to contribute equally.

Anyways he has free loaded for 1 year because honestly I was tired of saying anything and just gave up.

Dylan never cooks, or does the dishes or anything ever. Apart from me feeling like I'm intruding on a married couple's apartment (They've been dating for 2 years now) where I pay half the rent btw, Dylan did something that made me really mad and honestly I can't take it anymore.

So Rachel has gone to her hometown because of some emergency and she isn't coming back before ten days at least. So Dylan's parents were visiting on their way back from a vacation and I didn't mind it. I was fine with it.

The day they went for their vacation, they had lunch over at our place and we dropped them off at the train station. But apparently they are staying for 4 more days.

I had a rather long week and I haven't properly rested for like 2 weeks because I had a lot of work at the lab (I'm studying Forensics) and i wanted to have a lil winding down this weekend.

I'm not very okay with his parents staying over for 4-5 days because that means I'll have to be conscious about how i look, what I wear, what I eat, where I go etc.

And I'm Asian, there are a lot of things you can do "wrong" as a woman that'll get you judged and I'm not comfortable with living with Dylan's parents while Rachel is gone too.

I told Dylan in every way possible but he just wouldn't listen. They wouldn't book a hotel or anything too.

Also, there is a festival coming up in my country so most of my friends are back home for the weekend so I can't crash at anyone else's place, i can't go home either because my home is like 2000 km away.

Everyone's saying that I should treat his parents like they're my parents and it's only for 3-4 days so it's okay. And that I can just stay in my room. But i wanna be able to move around the house in shorts with anyone giving judgemental glances. I'm so tired honestly. AITAH?

09/11/2026

I have a child with my ex, who got married recently.

About a month ago, our 13M child asked me if he could wear the suit I bought him for my wedding (a blue suit with matching pants) to his dad’s wedding, because he’s part of the entourage.

My reply: no problem, but you have to ask your dad if your suit would fit the color scheme for his wedding.

A month passed, there was no update.

Until a week before the wedding, my son forwarded the wedding colors: beige, pink, green.

So I told him, best not wear his blue suit as it wouldn’t go well with the colors. We ended up with a longsleeved dark green polo and black slacks, because that was the closest he had at home.

I even brought him a day early to his dad’s so they could buy an appropriate outfit as needed.

He sent us photos of the wedding. I was devastated for my son, because he looked like an afterthought at his own father’s wedding.

Everybody in the entourage wore suits and formal wear. EVEN THEIR DOG HAD A VEST AND BOWTIE. My son was the only member of the entourage wearing a different color, and who wasn’t wearing formal attire.

My son is 13. He’s very close to his dad even though I have him majority of the time. It wasn’t a big deal to him, but it was a big deal to me. If this is how they treat him at the wedding, what happens when they have a child of their own?

I talked to my son about it, and somehow he’s blaming me because I didn’t buy him better clothes for the wedding, or brought him to his dad’s way earlier so they could have a suit tailor-made for him like the rest of the entourage.

Thing is, nobody in his dad’s family even thought to ask me about having him over for suit fittings or any of the sort. I have full custody of him, but I allow him to visit whenever they ask. This time, not a peep. Just sent the dress code and that was all.

My family’s saying it’s his dad’s fault for not thinking of his son, while his dad’s family is saying I should have provided a better outfit for him, since they sent me the dress code earlier and he’s with me majority of the time.

09/10/2026

My sister turned 30 last weekend and I offered to take her out for dinner. I meant her and me. A few days later she sent me the reservation and there were 11 people on it. When I asked what happened she said she invited some friends and our cousins because "you said you were taking me out." She knows I have some money saved from myprize and I think that turned into me apparently having endless money in her head.

At dinner one of her friends thanked me for treating everyone. That was the first time I realized she had actually told them I was paying. I waited until the bill came, paid for my sister and myself then told the server everyone else was separate. My sister was furious and said I humiliated her in front of everyone. I told her promising my money to ten people without asking was what embarrassed her. My mom says I should have paid and dealt with it privately afterward because it was her birthday. I probably could have afforded the whole thing. I just did not want to after finding out like that.

09/09/2026

I live on a pretty tight narrow little street, not much road parking, if any tbh! Folk are very lucky if they can find a parking space on the road I live on. My next-door neighbour has an open driveway. Then there's a wall at the front (owned by me, not him, it isnt a shared wall), then our smaller entrance driveway. His girlfriend comes over every day and parks in front of that wall, which, I mean, she can. She's not over our drive.

Anyway, I passed my drivers test recently, and want to get my own car, I'm using my partners at the moment, but want my own, and i want to be able to put it on the drive. And figured if we knock that wall down, ill be able to, as it'll make our driveway bigger. So that's what we've done. Today, me and my dad were out front, knocking down the wall, and my neighbour comes outside looking all confused and asks what I'm doing. So I tell him my plans and he says his girlfriend now has nowhere to park. I asked why she can't park over his drive, he said when they go out they use his car, so it would be a pain in the ass.

I told him I was sorry, but this was my wall and this is what i want to do. He then basically reprimanded me and kicked off at me for "removing one of the very few parking spaces on our road, like our road wasn't s**t enough for parking." I again told him that I was sorry, but that wasn't my problem.

AITAH?

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