International Forgiveness Institute

International Forgiveness Institute We believe that forgiveness is a choice. In doing so, an amazing transformation begins. When you forgive, you may benefit the person you forgive.

The International Forgiveness Institute is dedicated to helping people gain knowledge about forgiveness and to use that knowledge for personal, group, and societal renewal. If you have been deeply hurt by another, you can choose to forgive rather than hold on to debilitating anger and resentment. The black clouds of anxiety and depression give way to enhanced self-esteem and genuine feelings of ho

pefulness. But you benefit yourself far more. By liberating yourself from the pain and sorrow, you can reclaim your life and find the peace that your anger had stolen. The founder of the International Institute of Forgiveness, Robert D. Enright, PhD, pioneered this thinking more than 25 years ago and created the first scientifically proven forgiveness program in the country. By using the Institute’s 20-step forgiveness process model, anyone—individuals, families, communities, even governments—can experience the extraordinary benefits of forgiveness. With the correct approach to forgiveness, we can all help restore healthy emotions, rebuild relationships and establish more peaceful communities around the world. The IFI has developed the foundation for this by creating forgiveness education curriculum guides aimed at children in Kindergarten through high school.

06/04/2026

"Sometimes I just want to give up because forgiveness is so hard to accomplish. What do you suggest when forgiveness is really hard like this?"

Forgiveness is never easy when the injustice is strong and the hurt deep. So, please know that you are not alone. There are several approaches you can take. First, you might want to start by forgiving someone else who is easier to forgive as a way to build your confidence. Also, are you expecting to be done with the forgiveness process in a short amount of time? If the hurt is deep, it can take months of steady effort to forgive. Finally, I urge you to look toward the fruit of your forgiveness: lower anger, more hope. As you see these as endpoints to your forgiveness, it might strengthen your will to persevere.

06/03/2026

The one who hurt you may not be elderly yet and so you may have to do an imaginary exercise here, but that is all right. Try to see the person who hurt you as he is approaching the end of life. What will that life be like if he does not seek forgiveness? Try to step inside his shoes for a moment and imagine the inner pain of a life in which he let his wounds rule him and be imposed on other people, including you. Can you get a sense of the burden he is carrying?

Enright, Robert (2015-09-28). 8 Keys to Forgiveness (8 Keys to Mental Health) (pp. 96-97). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.

06/02/2026

When you love another, that love can remain in the other's heart for the rest of that person’s life. The love then can be transferred to others so that the love lives on.

05/31/2026

“Forgiving is rediscovering the shining path of peace that at first you thought others took away when they betrayed you.” — Dodinsky

05/31/2026

"Is it possible to forgive someone who is deceased? If so, what would the forgiveness look like?"

Yes, you can forgive someone who is deceased. Forgiveness includes thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. One can think of the other person as possessing inherent (unconditional) worth. One can cultivate feelings of compassion for the person, not because of what this person did, but in spite of this. Even behaviors can be a part of the forgiveness. For example, one might donate to the deceased person’s favorite charity. One might say a kind word about the deceased to family members. Depending on one’s religious beliefs, the forgiver can offer a prayer for the one who died.

05/30/2026

"You talk about forgiveness as a process, one that can take time. I find that as I go along the path of forgiveness, that I slip into revenge-seeking. I do not mean anything violent, just some nastiness or even verbal disrespect. Do you think this will delay my forgiveness process?"

We are all imperfect forgivers, and so we cannot think of forgiveness as a straight line from the start to the finish. We go back and forth with forgiveness. At times, we see the one who offended us as possessing inherent worth. Then we might have a dream about the person, and we wake up angry and do not want to even think about the person. The key here is to understand that the process is not a straight line. Have patience with yourself. Try to have patience with the one whom you are forgiving. In time, this back-and-forth will even out, and improvements in forgiving are likely as you continue to persevere in the forgiveness process.

05/29/2026

Seeing Beyond the Tears

Sometimes when we are caught up in grief and anger, it seems like this is all there will ever be now in our life. Permanent tears. Permanent anger.

Yet, please take a look at two different times in your life in which you were steeped in heartache or rage. The tears came…..and they left.

Today it may seem like these will never end…..but they will.

Take a lesson from your own past. The pains were temporary.

They are temporary even now.

Forgiveness helps them to be temporary.

05/28/2026

Yes, someone may have knocked you down by unkindness or even cruelty. Don't stay down. Rise up with courage to face what happened. But I might fall again, you say. Forgiveness is your safety net to catch you in despair or debilitating anger. Stand up to the injustice.....with forgiveness.

05/26/2026

Power rarely lasts because it eventually turns inward, exhausting itself. Look at slavery in the United States, or the supposedly all-powerful “Thousand-Year Reich” of the N***s, or even the presence of the Berlin Wall, intended to imprison thought, freedom, and persons . . . forever. Love endures even in the face of grave power against it.

Enright, Robert (2015-09-28). 8 Keys to Forgiveness (8 Keys to Mental Health) (p. 100). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.

05/26/2026

On Self-Forgiveness

It is time to welcome yourself back to the human condition— no matter what others say about you . . . no matter what you say about yourself . . . no matter what. Persevere in this quest for self-compassion, just as you have done for others at some time in your life.

Enright, Robert (2015-09-28). 8 Keys to Forgiveness (8 Keys to Mental Health) (pp. 188-189). W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.

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