Lasting Hearts is here to help comfort parents, mothers in particular, who have lost a piece of their heart. Losing a child, whether in pregnancy or older, can be one of the hardest pains a parent can endure. We would like to raise awareness and show other mothers that they are not alone, that they are stronger than they realize, and that there are people out there who care dearly. Hopefully, our
story will move others to do just that. Just 9 months after giving birth to our first child, we were surprised and overjoyed to be welcoming another one on the way. We did what all parents with a growing family would do: told our close friends and family, looked into buying a larger home, and started planning for another life-changing event. We were elated to be bringing our sweet daughter another brother or sister. Our joy soon turned to heartache. We found out at our first ultrasound that we were set to have twins, however one of our precious babies had passed early on in the pregnancy. With heavy hearts, we tried to stay positive and prayed for the surviving twin to be a healthy baby. In our second ultrasound we were relieved and comforted by our baby’s precious heartbeat and left the doctor’s office feeling hopeful. Sadly, our fears became reality in our third ultrasound. After examining the ultrasound, our tech turns to us and asks, “Did you say you heard your baby’s heartbeat”? Instantly, we lost a piece of our hearts. Our lives were forever changed after losing not one but two of our babies in the same pregnancy. We sat in the examination room, completely devastated and broken, waiting for our doctor. She comes in and does her best to console us but nothing she says could ease the pain. Her clinical response of “25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage” or “there was nothing you could’ve done to prevent this” just fell on deaf ears. None of it satisfied the two questions that kept running through our heads – “How could this happen?” and “why did this happen?” As amazing of an OBGYN as she is, she just wasn’t equipped to comfort 2 people whose world had been turned upside down. The conversation continues to how best to proceed in removing the fetuses, a conversation that’s cold in stark contrast to how we imagined delivering our precious children. We were absolutely heartbroken. We kept our loss private for some time, not knowing how to express our grief and slightly afraid of the stigma that comes with miscarriages. It was too painful to speak of and too agonizing to share. One of the first people I reached out to was my dear friend, Amy, who had lost her son towards the end of her pregnancy and who knew the heartache all too well. I looked to her for her strength and for guidance on how she’s been able to continue to be a great mom to her young daughter after losing her infant son. A couple of days later I received a book from Amy, “You are the Mother of all Mothers” by Angela Miller. After only reading a few pages, I finally let myself accept for the first time that what happened to us was not my fault and that I did have the strength to continue to be a better mom and wife. The book’s encouraging message is conveyed in a way that is thoughtful, uplifting, compassionate and relatable. With a newfound strength, I brought this book to our OBGYN and asked her if she’d be open to distributing these to patients who had miscarried if we provided them. She agreed without any hesitation. The author, Angela Miller, has graciously agreed to offer 40% off the list price so that we may help those who are in the disheartening situation we were once in. I cant help but think of the mothers who don’t have support, don’t know where to turn, or just need to know that “No one else could carry this unrelenting burden as courageously. It is the heaviest, most torturous burden there is”. Please help us by donating or sending a sympathy card. If you would like to send a hand stamped card, here are some ideas of sentiments for the front or inside of the card:
Thinking of you
Hugs
Sorry for your loss
In my thoughts
In my prayers
The price of each book is a donation of $12. We would like to help as many mothers one book and handmade card at a time. Special thanks to Amy Jacobson, Angela Miller, Hernan Sierra, Jennifer McGuire, Hero Arts, Simon Says Stamps, Marco Garcia and all of the OBGYNs who have agreed to participate, and especially to all of you for caring enough to help.
