Powered by Trauma

04/05/2026

Sometimes people only see the reaction, not what caused it.
There’s a term called reactive abuse. It happens when someone is repeatedly pushed, ignored, or provoked until they finally react. That reaction might look intense, angry, defensive, or out of character -but it didn’t come out of nowhere.

The reaction is not the abuse.
Think of it this way: if someone keeps “tickling” you after you’ve said stop, after your body is overwhelmed, after your boundaries are ignored, -your response is your body trying to protect itself. Whether that looks like pulling away, raising your voice, or even physically creating space, it’s a reaction to being pushed too far.

Often, people only see that final moment. They don’t see the repeated discomfort, the ignored boundaries, or the buildup that led there. And that’s where the narrative gets twisted.
The person who caused the distress can point to the reaction and say, “See? They’re the problem.” And without context, it can be easy to believe.
But context matters. Boundaries matter. Consent matters.
If someone says “stop” and it’s ignored, that’s not harmless anymore. If they react, that doesn’t make them abusive. It makes them human.
Before judging someone’s reaction, it’s worth asking what led up to it.
Because sometimes the person who looks like they “lost control” is actually the one who was trying to hold it together for as long as they could.

01/20/2026

Let’s Fu***ng Talk About It.

CPTSD is like having a brain that thinks every mildly inconvenient moment is the opening scene of a true-crime documentary.

Someone sighs too loud and my nervous system’s like,
Cool. We’re dying today.

I can be perfectly safe, fed, hydrated, wrapped in a blanket, and my body still acts like I’m one unanswered text away from being emotionally hunted for sport.

CPTSD doesn’t care about facts.
It cares about vibes.
Bad tone? Red flag.
Neutral face? Definitely hiding something.
Peace and quiet? Absolutely a setup.

My brain doesn’t ask, “Is this dangerous?”
It asks, “How dangerous was this in 2008?”

People say, “You’re overreacting.”
No — I’m overqualified.
I survived environments where pattern recognition was a life skill, not a personality flaw.

CPTSD is being calm for three minutes and then immediately suspicious of yourself.
Like, who the f**k do you think you are, relaxing?

It’s not anxiety.
It’s not drama.
It’s my nervous system running Windows 95 while life insists we’re on iOS 20.

So yeah, I jumpy.
Yeah, I’m sarcastic.
Yeah, I see danger where there isn’t any.

But I’m also alive, self-aware, and funny as hell about it —
which honestly feels like a win.

F**k ’Em.


© Anthony Sellers (Riven Hale) 2026

12/19/2025

You're up!
Let's write a victim impact statement.
Polish it and send it to the person who really deserves to hear how you feel.

11/05/2025

Maybe... See you next Tuesday

09/30/2025

Your reaction is what they were looking for... Not you... Just your reaction.

Please understand that they wanted your reaction to their disrespect,

because then they could use your reaction to paint you as the problem and deflect from their own toxic and bad behaviours. This is one of the oldest tricks in the narcissist’s playbook. They know exactly what buttons to push, what words to say, and what actions will wound you deeply. They poke, provoke, and prod, not out of ignorance, but out of intention. The goal is to trigger you into an emotional response that they can later point to as evidence of your “instability” or “overreaction.”

This is what makes dealing with toxic people so exhausting. You can be calm, reasonable, and patient 99 times out of 100, but the moment you finally react—whether it’s raising your voice, crying, or walking away—they seize on that one moment and twist the entire narrative. Suddenly, the real issue—their disrespect, their lies, their cruelty—is erased, and all the focus is on *your reaction*. They’ll say things like, “See? This is why I can’t talk to you,” or “You’re so dramatic,” or “You’re the toxic one.”

And because they’ve likely been grooming others around them with their charm and false image, your reaction becomes even easier for them to weaponize. To outsiders, they’ll play the calm, collected victim while painting you as irrational or unbalanced. It’s a performance, and unfortunately, many people fall for it because they’ve only seen the mask, not the abuse behind closed doors.

But here’s the truth: your reaction does not make you the problem. Your reaction is a natural response to being repeatedly disrespected, gaslighted, and emotionally manipulated. Reacting to cruelty does not make you cruel. Reacting to lies does not make you dishonest. Reacting to abuse does not make you the abuser. It makes you human.

So instead of beating yourself up for the moments you reacted, remind yourself of the bigger picture. They wanted you to react. They needed you to react. Because without your reaction, they have nothing to deflect with. Recognize the trap, and then take your power back by refusing to play their game. Their actions speak for themselves—you don’t need to prove it by reacting.

08/09/2025

Recovering and healing a mental illness or brain injury is exhausting.
I don't want it either.

08/08/2025

15 years later...
I thought they'd be better off without me... I was lying to myself.

08/05/2025

If they didn't love you enough to treat you well enough, it isn't your fault.