10/19/2026
We spend a lot of time trying to understand the young people in our lives.
We notice their moods. We ask about their days. We make assumptions about what they're thinking or feeling.
But how often do we ask what they wish we understood?
Try this question:
"What's something you wish people understood about you?"
Maybe they wish adults knew how hard they're trying. That being quiet doesn't mean they're upset. That something important to them isn't just a phase. Or that they're still figuring out who they are.
Whatever their answer, resist the urge to explain, correct, or defend. Just listen.
You might follow up with:
"What would it look like for someone to understand that about you?"
Young people don't need us to get everything right. But they do need to know we're willing to learn who they are, not just tell them who we think they should be.
Sometimes feeling understood starts with being asked.