The Uncensored Stories of Lakeview Illinois

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01/08/2022

A hoe NEVER gets cold.

My business partner and I walking downtown near "The Bean" discussing business when we hear some commotion across the street. We look over and some citizen has his pants ALL THE WAY DOWN to his ankles, his boxer brief to his knees, using his chin to hold up his shirt, holding his dick in the palm of his hand as if he were weighing it, admiring himself says "God damn that's a big dick." Almost as if some one had handed him an unexpected gift hed never seen before.

"Whoa!"
"Oh, no!"
"Bro is that his dick?"
"Oh, no no no"
"This s**t wild bro."
"Bro its 12° out."

08/21/2021

N. Broadway & W. Patterson:

So my deaf female neighbor has a dude she f**k'n.

But you know me, all I do is mind my business and let the good lord do the judging (although I do have my opinions) anyway it was my 41st year of life when I found out that that deaf people be making all TYPES of sounds no words, just sounds when they be getting down.

I don't hear him too much every once in a while he'll let out a beast grunt but her! She has this echolocation pitch, white girl horror movie murder scream that she do and the faster he beat it up her screams seem go to the next frequency! And just when you think its over the headboard beating down the wall again, so hard got me standing in the doorways just in case the building collapse.

Now, I dont know how to sign "Ma'am can you please close your legs, cause Im tryn to sleep over here!" But at some point Imma haveta look it up. Should I do a wellness check? Way she be screaming I feel like somebody need to check up on her.

I could leave a note? But how do you say "You loud, and sound like you're Flipper when you gettin' fu**ed. Can you mute all that? Im try n ta sleep." While being nice and classy like myself?

80's Kids reflect:There was this episode of G. I Joe where Cobra Commander sent his snaklings to storm the U.S. Capital....
01/14/2021

80's Kids reflect:

There was this episode of G. I Joe where Cobra Commander sent his snaklings to storm the U.S. Capital.

Until chants of "hang Destro" filled the Senate halls prompting Destro to have a change of heart and finally calling in the Joes to save the day!

GOOOOOOOOO Joe!!!!!!

But as you have it, lost in the commotion of G.I. Joes retaking the capital Cobra Commander escaped to his lair underneath the White House. Realizing all is lost Cobra Commander orders Zartan the master of disguise to create a Youtube video to issue a public apology denouncing the snaklings attack on the capital.

Roll Credits

Written by: Zacary Shellman

Roll Theme Song

Yo Joe!

He'll fight for freedom wherever there is trouble,
G.I. Joe is there!

G.I. Joe...
A Real American Hero
G.I. Joe is there.

Its G.I. Joe against Cobra and Destro,
Fighting to save the day.
He never gives up, he's always there,
Fighting for freedom over land and air.

G.I. Joe...
A Real American Hero
G.I. Joe is there.

[spoken]
G.I. Joe is the codename for America's daring, highly trained, special mission force.
Its purpose: To defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

source:

01/12/2021

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