09/06/2026
Religion, toxic patriarchal religion to be exact, often confuses a covenant marriage with an abusive marriage, and treats divorce from an abuser like a covenant violation. It’s a lie. Divorce is a step that indicates a severe covenant breach that is injurious—mentally, emotionally and physically. Torment and trauma represent a covenant breach with a spouse and God. We often limit our thinking regarding covenant breach to the inured spouse but the truth is, Jesus said, “ I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me” (Matthew 25:40). Why is this so important? This is a long but necessary read…longer than a tweet but shorter than the Bible. Stay with me…
Often we hear religious blind guides offer the injured spouse pathways to suffering better, praying harder, taking up their cross, sanctifying the depraved, and walk in faith while being devoured by the antichrist. Yes, behavior dictates relationship with Jesus not words, titles and rituals: “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples” (John 15:8). Abuse is the fruit of the devil not the Holy Spirit. Abuse is the fruit of the depraved and rebellious. The root of abuse is hate…abusive hate toward a spouse is a severe form of domestic abuse where one partner uses deeply hostile, degrading language and behavior to systematically tear down the other's worth, safety and identity in Christ. Abuse is proof that they are committing adultery with a perverted, hateful spirit that God declares is equal to being a murderer: “Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him” (1 John 3:15). God said, “no murderer has eternal life, the Holy Spirit of God, abiding in him. They are the Antichrist serving darkness. This is the problem with the blind guides telling an abuse victim to stay and pray more, have faith more, love more, forgive more, submit more…
The confusion caused by the grotesque association of the abusive marriage with a covenant marriage is why we are constantly debating whether or not God permits divorce for abuse. Let’s be clear, an abusive marriage is not a covenant marriage, it is bo***ge created by darkness that delights in evil.
God didn’t join, or co-sign marriage between His child and a dark hearted murderer. The marriage is the sin, not divorce. The marriage is a violation of God’s commandment: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
The covenant marriage is not a civil union, it is not confirmed by “I do,” or wedding vows—Traditional Western wedding vows were created in 1549 by Thomas Cranmer, the Archbishop of Canterbury. Cranmer did not invent the words from scratch. He translated older medieval Catholic traditions. God doesn’t join His child together with wedding vows or “I do,” and neither establishes a biblical covenant marriage. Nor can they.
A biblical covenant marriage is a heart and behavioral agreement…and God searches the heart to validate the posture and surrender to His will for the mate. God knows the truth: Other people only see your outside actions, but God sees your secret thoughts and real reasons: “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve” (Jeremiah 17:10). God didn’t bypass His covenant agreement to search the heart because they said “I do”, because they said wedding vows, or because they said they were a believer. God doesn’t honor lip service, God honors fruit. Claiming you’re a believer doesn’t make you surrendered follower of Jesus Christ—any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car: “You believe that God is one. Good for you! Even the demons believe that—and shudder” (James 2:19).
A biblical covenant marriage cannot be established with darkness. A biblical covenant marriage is based on a heart and behavioral agreement that reverences Christ. The very first commandment and prerequisite for the biblical covenant marriage is this: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). “Out of reverence for Christ,” means heart posture and behavior represent a “deep and profound respect for Christ.” A dark heart, a hateful and murderous heart, does not have reverence for Christ and neither can God join His child together with the antichrist: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). We know God doesn’t join all people together because Jesus confirmed it with the woman at the well: “And the one you’re with now is not your husband”
You were not and are not covenant married to an abuser. That would make God a co-signer for His children throwing their pearls down before swine: “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces” (Matthew 7:6). If God said they will tear you to pieces, that means joining you together with them would make Him a liar and a breaker of His own covenant with His child: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). God’s covenant plans for His child means He cannot and will not join His child together with an abuser.
Why does this matter? There is no scripture in the Bible related to covenant marriage speaking to a union with the covenant abandoning antichrist except one: “But if the unbeliever leaves [abandons physically or behaviorally], let him go. The believing brother or sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace” (1 Corinthians 7:15). Abuse behaviorally abandons the covenant by tearing God’s child to pieces — which also abandons God in the same way: “Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a reprobate mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil…” (Romans 1:28-30).
An abuser is someone who cannot be a covenant mate, and never were. The abuser is the Antichrist, a God hater and unevenly yoked. An abuser behaviorally abandons the covenant, and abandonment is biblical grounds for divorce (1 Corinthians 7:15). Contrary to the doctrine of blind religion, divorce based on biblical grounds — abandonment or adultery, was confirmed by a Certificate of Divorce in the Bible. The biblical certificate of divorce is the equivalent of our modern day Divorce Decree. Both the Certificate of Divorce and the Divorce decree nullifies the marriage and restores all rights as an unmarried person including the right to remarry. The only biblical reference to a husband or wife committing adultery for remarriage is speaking about separation, not a legal divorce. The habit of unfaithful religious men in the Bible was to “put a wife away” or separate without giving the wife a Certificate of Divorce. under the law, not Grace, women were prohibited from divorcing men, which meant if the man put a wife away (separated) without a Certificate of Divorce, neither could remarry without committing adultery — because they were separated not legally divorced. That’s why a spouse would or could be bound for life, not because it was God’s will.
I’m going to do a Facebook Live and deep dive into divorce and remarriage next week. Every Christian couple, engaged/pre-married couple, and every divorced Christian needs to tune in for the unadulterated truth about abusing spouses, divorce and remarriage. Stay tuned, for the announcement for the date next week. There will also be a “Redemptive Divorce” masterclass scheduled following the Facebook live.
