12/18/2023
A tug of war…..
Watching someone you love, that has fought so hard to reverse their substance use disorder, throw everything away and sink back into a life that will most likely lead to loss of everything, jail or worse, death, is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Devastating, overwhelming, paralyzing.
You want to help them, guide them. You know this is totally out of your control.
You want to grab and shake them and say "What are you doing?!?!" But, at some point you realize that it wouldn't make a difference. You are dealing with the disease, not your loved one solely. You are dealing with the person that morphed into this fear-driven individual solely dependent on this brain hacker, rash decision maker, seemingly uncaring individual. Who can no longer comprehend, common sense flew under the dark origins of their hacked brain.
So you sit back and watch this unsavory tragedy unfold, again, as if you are watching a movie. Yelling at the screen. Holding onto hope, that this horror film will some how have that happy ending.
Loving this individual is not the hard part. The hard part is not walking away, kicking them to the curb. No, the hard part is staying, and keeping them in your life. It's like being on a team but yet you are sidelined and your input is not wanted. Even tho they know your advice is good, their playbook says differently. That instant reward-feeding dopamine tells them you must be wrong.
It's a tug of war! Between the individual and the substance.
Between the individual and their loved ones. A tug of war!!! On their side is doom. On our side is hope. In the middle is remission, recovery, and rebirth!
“It Takes a Village of Voices to be Heard (CaK)12/23