05/20/2025
This is one of the speeches I gave about Steve on Saturday evening, May 17, 2025.
My Warrior Husband
This is the second version of our story I wrote for tonight. A more brief and concise one. I knew if I read our first one, I would be getting all kinds of signals to hurry and wrap it up. He was famous for doing this or this to his staff and often me. Steve didn’t want anyone to give speeches about him. That is a promise I had to break. He needs his story shared. For many reasons.
When a friend or loved one reached any age ninety or above before they passed, Steve would always say, “Well at least they weren’t cheated.” One person in particular was our Dear Aunt Bea.
Y’all, Steve was cheated. We were cheated, in so many ways. I was just asking “Why?” again last night. Why was he taken? I don’t know yet. Maybe you can tell me why you think later.
I am so honored that you ALL are here to help celebrate his life. As I look around, some of you knew him as part of your family or knew him as a classmate, a neighbor, or as a boss or as a colleague or a combination of a couple of these. All of these categories made up the man Steve was. The various displays represent these various facets of what made Tedder, Steve.
His young life, his family, the beginning of Tedder through his work display, his love of playing various sports, his musical talent, his casual lifestyle, his fun side, the two of us, and his true pride and joy gifts from God, Julie and Liam.
Just for fun, raise your if you were:
A classmate of Steve’s
Had Tedder for a Boss
One of Tedder’s Bosses
A colleague
Family member
Neighbor
Guest in one of our homes here on Coy (Loy) Hall Road
A combination?
You. You all helped shape Steve into the man he was.
You may have seen where I refer to him as my Warrior Husband. Caregivers of loved ones who suffer through the terminal journey of PSP, call who they care for their warrior.
You may also be wondering why we have various hummingbird feeders, houses and charms around the property. First, hummingbirds are a universal symbol for those with his PSP. When specific scans of the brain show a hummingbird-like image, this usually helps confirm the diagnosis.
Hummingbirds are also one of the strongest creatures. They can lift a large proportion of their body weight, far exceeding the capacity of larger birds like eagles. There is also a certain species only in, where it is the national bird. We were married nearly 25 years ago on a beach in Jamaica.
Steve lived well, worked hard, and played just as hard. He was a man of great character and unwavering principle. Even if that cost him. He fought for what he believed in and you always knew where he stood. To know him was, for most, was to love him. And even though he didn’t say it, he loved each of you here this evening.
PSP - Progressive Supranuclear Palsy - a rare Parkinsonian disease that is called Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. Like Parkinsons, PSP, includes a dopamine deficiency in the brain, which leads to motor control problems. For caregivers of those with PSP, it is more accurate to describe PSP to ALS. A known terminal condition that takes away every aspect of what makes up the patient. Getting this diagnosis totally crushed Steve’s spirit. Julie and I both didn’t want to believe this diagnosis. I can’t tell you how many combined hours of research we did to find another cause for his decline.
Those with PSP basically follow the same hellish journey. For Steve his first symptom was a change in his handwriting. If you worked with Steve you know it took a very skilled eye to be able to read his doctor like handwriting to begin with. Then typing even became a challenge.
The next sign of something wrong was his speech. For a man like Steve who talked for a living, this was horrific.
Like Parkinson’s PSP patients are a fall risk. I always knew he was a bit clumsy but he suffered at least three significant head traumas from falls. Two to the back of his head and one total face plant at Jimmy V’s in July, 2023. Dizziness and balance instability were an early symptom. The dizziness improved, but the balance led to complete dependence on the use of a walker.
At this point in 2023, his vision had already begun to decline. He couldn’t focus on the left side of a page or the computer screen. Steve read everyday. Not books, but the newspaper, emails, research for his job. This was such a frustrating symptom for him. The problems with his vision also included the inability to open his eyes. They would involuntarily shut. And he became extremely sensitive to light. We had to live in, what I call, cave-like conditions. He even wore special sunglasses in the house. Vision issues led to his inability to have the independence to drive. Another crushing symptom. But the man was determined he would mow! With my Dad’s engineering ingenuity, he built a system for him to use his walker to get to the golf cart to drive to the barn to use handrails to get on a platform to step onto his mower. He was determined to get out each day if only to mow one field each day. I knew the last day he mowed would be his last. That was a very sad day.
Often PSP leads to cognitive decline and forms of dementia. Steve never suffered from this. He was as brilliant as ever, even on his last day.
Like ALS, PSP patients will lose nearly all muscle control and eventually the death of the muscles to control movement. Steve lost almost total control of his dominant right side. Eventually, his legs wouldn’t do what he wanted them to do. He couldn’t walk at the end. And we all know what a proud man he was. Even though we had an electric wheelchair, he only used it two times. He refused to be dependent on it.
Another horrible symptom that happens with PSP patients is the loss of your throat muscles. Patients are at risk of choking even just sipping water. Like dementia patients, the cause of death with PSP patients is complications due to falls or aspiration pneumonia. I was determined neither would happen to him. When he couldn’t swallow his liquid medications, we had no choice but to go to the Hospice home.
February 26, 2025, at 5:45am. I lost my Warrior Husband. While I know he is whole again, able to freely move, see, and speak and once again in the company of his parents and our pets, including Daisy who passed just a couple days after he did, his loss has left a deep hole in my heart.
Steve was cheated. We were cheated. PSP is one of the worst imaginable conditions one can suffer from.
A few weeks before he passed, I told him I had to go see someone but I didn’t tell him who or why. That person was the Chief of our nearby Sauratown Volunteer Fire Department, Wayne Barneycastle. This is the same position and title that Steve’s dad, Ira held years ago as a founding member of the department. Ira trained Wayne. That was Ira’s call truck. I asked Wayne for a big favor and he didn’t hesitate to say yes.
What some of you don’t know is that Steve held the title of Chief of the Water Quality Section in the Division of Environmental Management for many years under the leadership of our dear friend, Preston Howard.
When I got home I told Steve that the hell we had gone through would not be in vain. I told him his legacy would live on to help others. He was touched to the point of tears when I told him I was starting the Chief Tedder Rescue Foundation. While I can’t bring awareness to PSP like it so desperately deserves, what the foundation can do is help those in need who can’t speak for themselves. We will start in Stokes County and see how far our help can reach.
Steve wore these three devices each day for his last year. This chain was the first thing he put on each morning and last thing he took off to charge each night. It gave us both peace of mind knowing that help was only the push of a button away. And it worked! One day, I came home to EMS vehicles down at the barn because he fell getting off the mower. He didn’t have his phone so he pushed the button and they came to help him up. Another time, when he was supervising me, Julie, Liam splitting wood, he passed out and slowly fell to an awkward position on the ground. Chief Barneycastle was the first to respond followed by several other volunteers and then the EMS truck.
One of these devices has a QR code that when scanned has all Steve’s emergency contacts, medications, information of his disease, and insurance cards. Wayne had never seen such a device. He couldn’t believe all that information was stored within a tiny QR code. Together, Julie, Liam, Chuck, Chief Barneycastle and I make up the board of the Chief Tedder Rescue Foundation. Before Steve passed, the foundation was officially set up as a 501(c)(3).
We have started a website and social media pages. They are still in the beginning stages, but tonight we are making it public with the small tokens we want you to take away with you this evening. We are in the process of getting the foundation name trademarked. While we have ideas to make the three devices into one, and had a 3D mock made of one of the ideas to incorporate two of them into one, the patent process to put all three into one, while unfound in the market, our attorney says it would be difficult to get approved because it is close to what is on the market. Knowing that would probably be the case, I have reached out to the company that makes this fall alert device. They called me the same day I wrote to them. We are hoping for some sort of partnership with them to develop the idea and allow us to purchase them at low cost so we can give them to those in need.
Those stricken with diseases that take your voice like Steve, those like my sweet Mom who, those with special needs like Donna Lou, non-verbal autistic children, and even pets with special needs. And to help give peace of mind to caregivers who can’t be with their loved one 24/7. The monetary support we have received since Steve’s death has not been touched. We are building a foundation to have the funds to have the ability to match grants that Liam is helping research. I made this promise to Steve and it will be my lifelong mission to fulfill it.
To get your takeaway, learn more about the Chief Tedder Rescue Foundation, and PSP, please stop by the table in the road on your way out this evening. The QR code on your takeaways leads you to our page to make donations to the foundation if you choose to do so. We would also appreciate you sharing our story and helping us gain awareness of our mission.
Thank you for being so patient and allowing me to share just a snippet of our PSP journey. And thank you for your support.
Now, I would like to introduce two other special guests, please welcome Julie Gryzb, Deputy Director of the NC Department of Environmental Quality, Division of Water Resources. She is joined by our cousin, Gabe Tedder. Gabe served as one of the few, the proud. Gabe became a Marine right after graduating from West Stokes High School. We are very proud of the man he has become. They are here to make a couple of special presentations this evening.
After the presentations, get your glasses or koozies filled while anyone who wants to share a brief Tedder Tale, is welcome to do so. Then we will all join in as we give our official Cheers to SWT.
On behalf of our family, thank you for helping us celebrate the life of my Warrior Husband, Steve W. Tedder. (wrap up and cut sign)
