Hearts That Heal Riding School

08/23/2026

This is written so well and it is how we teach here. Our goal is to build confident riders, not just a passenger on the horse.

💛I’m Going to Let Your Child Struggle 💛

When your child comes for lessons with me, I’m going to let them struggle sometimes.

They may have never fastened a buckle on a piece of tack. A saddle might be heavy and awkward. Their lead rope may be a tangled mess. And something that would take me ten seconds might take them five minutes.

I’m not going to immediately step in and do it for them. *Unless its a safety issue.*

Because someday, I want your child to walk into the barn, catch their own horse, tack up, and head out feeling completely confident in their own abilities.

Why?

Because they’re learning that they can do hard things.

So yes, I’ll help when something is beyond a child's physical ability. I’ll encourage, demonstrate, and keep them safe.

But when they *can* do it? I’m going to give them the time to fumble with the buckle. Untangle the rope. Try again. And figure it out.

Parents, I know watching that can be hard. You’ll want to jump in and make it easier.

But sometimes the greatest gift we can give a child is not making the hard thing easier.

It’s standing beside them long enough for them to discover:

“I can do this myself.”

💙 ~Abbie

02/09/2026

We cannot give away what we do not have.

That line has been sitting with me.

So often, people are asked to be calm when they feel flooded, kind when they feel empty, patient when they are running on fumes. We tell carers, parents, facilitators, professionals, and children to “just regulate,” “just be empathetic,” “just stay grounded,” as if these are endless resources that never run dry.

They are not.

Care is not a moral trait. It is a capacity.
Safety is not a personality. It is a state.
Presence is not willpower. It is something that grows when you are supported.

This is where horses quietly tell the truth. A horse cannot offer softness if they feel unsafe. They cannot co regulate if their own nervous system is braced. They step away. They pause. They choose distance. Not because they are difficult, but because they are honest.

Humans are not so different.

If you are struggling to give, it does not mean you are failing. It means something in you needs tending first. Regulation has to be received before it can be shared. Care has to be felt before it can be offered. Rest has to be allowed before resilience appears.

This is not selfish. It is biological.
It is relational.
It is deeply human.

You are not meant to pour endlessly. You are meant to be part of a system where care flows both ways. And when it does, giving stops feeling like depletion and starts feeling like connection.

Gentle reminder, especially this time of year.

02/09/2026

This is so common.

Parentalisation.
Let’s say the quiet bit out loud. 🐴🧠

Parentalisation is when a child takes on roles that were never meant to be theirs.

Not because they were “mature for their age”.
Not because they were naturally strong.
But because someone else couldn’t hold the weight.

Sometimes it looks emotional.
You become the listener. The mediator. The one who keeps everyone calm. You learn to read moods before words. You stay useful.

Sometimes it looks practical.
You care for siblings. Run the house. Take responsibility far too early. You don’t get the luxury of being “just a child”.

Here’s the part that often gets missed.

Parentalised children usually grow into adults who look incredibly capable. Reliable. Calm in a crisis.

But that strength often comes with a cost:

• guilt when resting
• difficulty asking for help
• hyper-independence
• a nervous system that never fully switches off
• a belief that being needed equals being loved

And society claps the outcome while ignoring the impact. “You were such a good child.” “You were so grown up.” “You held it all together.”

Yes. And it shouldn’t have been their job.

Horses notice this immediately. People who were parentalised often arrive contained, composed, competent… and slightly braced. Horses don’t need the performance. They respond to what’s underneath. They invite softness. Presence. Permission to not hold everything.

If this word hits a nerve, you’re not broken. You adapted in a way that made sense at the time.

The work now isn’t to lose your strength. It’s to let it rest.

If this resonates, you’re not alone.
And you’re allowed to put the load down. 💛

11/26/2024

We are horse riders- you don't have to understand us! Real riders believe in the 11th rule: With the inside leg and the outside rein. We know that all external medicine is either waterproof, blue or yellow. We have no problem eating a sandwich directly after mucking stalls. We know, why a thermometer has to have a string attached to the end. We don't think anything sexual if someone talks about chains, whips or leather. We can lower our voice instantly by 5 octaves to shout at a horse pawing at the floor. We would sooner quit a relationship than our hobby. We talk to our car to make it up the hill. We have better insurance for our horse than our car. We know more about our horses diet than our own. We buy grain and hay before buying our own food. We have less to wear than our horse. Its common to see us wearing riding clothes in public our hobby is creating more work than our job. And we know that mucking a stable is the best cure for depression.

10/11/2024

Going to setup the equine chiropractor again for later this month. Is anyone needing their horse/horses done? Message me so I can get you on the list.

09/10/2024

Sometimes being a riding instructor is more than just about riding the horse. When your tiny student comes into the barn and has a melt down, and says they don’t want to ride or that the horse scares them today, you have to put on your thinking cap. Especially when you can tell, riding the horse is not the problem. So then the lesson becomes rock climbing and picture taking of what a “cool kid”he is. I have loved that working with kids and people gets to be so diversified. In the end we rode, we climbed and most important we smiled and laughed. I have learned so much from my students.

09/09/2024

ʀᴏʙɪɴ ᴡɪʟʟɪᴀᴍs ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ʜɪs ᴏᴡɴ ʟɪғᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴅɪᴀɢɴᴏsᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʟᴇᴡʏ ʙᴏᴅʏ ᴅᴇᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴀ.
ʙʀᴜᴄᴇ ᴡɪʟʟɪs ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴇᴀʀɴᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜɪs ɪʟʟɴᴇss ɪs ғʀᴏɴᴛᴏᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏʀᴀʟ ᴅᴇᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴀ (ғᴛᴅ) ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴇᴡʏ ʙᴏᴅʏ ᴅᴇᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴀ.
ᴏɴᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅᴇsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴄᴇss ɪs ᴛʜᴇ sʟᴏᴡ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴠᴇ. ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇʟʏ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ. ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇs.
ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ...😢 ɪᴛ’s ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏɴɢ ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ. ʀᴀᴘɪᴅʟʏ sʜʀɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ʙʀᴀɪɴ ɪs ʜᴏᴡ ᴀ ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ ᴅᴇsᴄʀɪʙᴇᴅ ɪᴛ.
ᴀs ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀᴛɪᴇɴᴛ's ʙʀᴀɪɴ sʟᴏᴡʟʏ ᴅɪᴇs, ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴘʜʏsɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ғᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴡʜᴏ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴏɴᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʟᴇss ᴛʜᴇᴍsᴇʟᴠᴇs.
ᴘᴀᴛɪᴇɴᴛs ᴄᴀɴ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴇᴅʀɪᴅᴅᴇɴ, ᴜɴᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴜɴᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴀᴛ ᴏʀ ᴅʀɪɴᴋ ᴏʀ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴏɴᴇs.
ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴡɪʟʟ sᴄʀᴏʟʟ ʙʏ ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴇssᴀɢᴇ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ᴀʟᴢʜᴇɪᴍᴇʀ's ᴏʀ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ғᴏʀᴍs ᴏғ ᴅᴇᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴀ ʜᴀs ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ's ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʜᴀs ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴏʀ ɪs ғɪɢʜᴛɪɴɢ ᴀ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴsᴛ ᴀʟᴢʜᴇɪᴍᴇʀ's ᴏʀ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴋɪɴᴅs ᴏғ ᴅᴇᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴀ (ᴛʜᴇ ᴜᴍʙʀᴇʟʟᴀ ᴛᴇʀᴍ ғᴏʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ 𝟸𝟶𝟶 ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴛʏᴘᴇs).
ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴇғғᴏʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴀᴡᴀʀᴇɴᴇss ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs ᴄʀᴜᴇʟ ᴅɪsᴇᴀsᴇ, ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ 𝟻 ᴏғ ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ᴘᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪs ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴛɪᴍᴇʟɪɴᴇ.
ɪ'ʟʟ sᴇᴛᴛʟᴇ ғᴏʀ ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴅᴏɴᴇ!!! ᴄᴏᴘʏ & ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ.
ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ

08/25/2024

I have been told many times that I am so lucky to be able to own horses, and for that I am grateful. ……..but somedays, I wonder if I should have collected rocks instead of horses. Let’s just say Raven may not be in my prayers tonight. No this was not Raphael, for once. After working all day washing, cleaning and repairing, the feed room is back to looking respectable again.