10/07/2026
Our girl!!! We are so honored to have Cassie serving on our Board of Directors, and even more grateful for the way she openly shares her story and faith.
Her words are raw, honest, and a beautiful reminder that even in the hardest seasons, we can run to God, be honest with Him, and trust that He is faithful.
We are so proud of you, Cassie, and blessed by the way you continue to encourage others. 💜
When Joy and Mallory asked me to write this devotional, I honestly laughed at God’s timing- not a “haha so funny” laugh but more of a “ha, really God?” I had just found out that morning that I had had another miscarriage. I remember saying, “God, you’re going to have to give me the words because I’m not sure I have anything encouraging to say.” Even as the deadline has approached, I think I’ve written three different devotionals besides this one. Why? I didn’t want to share my story. It’s not fun or feel-good. I didn’t want it to be my identity. I didn’t want to be a “Debbie Downer” (Sorry to all the Debbies out there!). But ultimately, the Lord led me to share my story. While it is not the story I would have chosen for myself, it’s mine, and it has changed my life and my faith more than almost anything else. And I would say many of you have parts of your story that aren’t your favorite or that you wouldn’t have chosen either. And that’s real life. We are promised trials and tribulations on this earth, so I believe it’s important to be honest with our struggles.
Most of you know parts of my story. For me, grief started in 2018 when my dad passed away. He had Parkinson’s which led to Dementia and it was a pretty rapid decline. The last 6 months of his life were spent in a nursing home. He was the youngest one there, and his final days were full of confusion and being totally dependent on his nurses and care takers. It was hard to see my dad, the provider for my family and my safe place, rapidly decline and need providing for.
Fast forward to 2023…At 24 weeks, our firstborn daughter, Lucy, was born. This was totally unexpected. Everything throughout my pregnancy was normal and good; there were no warning signs. They still aren’t sure what happened. She was care-flighted to LeBonheur and was in the NICU for 15 days. She ultimately got an infection that she couldn’t fight. The first month or so after her passing was just a fog. Then the grief really hit- the questions, the big emotions, the anxiety. “God, why would you allow this to happen?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Where are you, God?” “We had so many people praying…what’s the point in praying if it leads to this?” I could not see how I would make it through even the first year without her. It was so hard. I think I cried everyday, and I’m not a cryer. Unfortunately, this wasn’t our last baby to grieve. Since then, we have experienced two additional miscarriages. Still no answers. These brought back the same questions. “God, can I even trust you when the times I have trusted you the most have ended in tragedy?”
If you’re in a season of loss, waiting, or hardship, I want to encourage you to be honest with your thoughts and feelings towards God. (Friendly reminder: He already knows them anyway.) Tell Him that you’re mad. He can handle it. Don’t run from Him, run to Him. Bang on His chest and cry and tell Him you don’t understand. He is broken hearted with you. I remember sitting in my car, crying and hitting the steering wheel, pretty much demanding that the Lord help me. Feels pretty silly and dramatic now, but it was so real at the time. And the Lord did help me. It didn’t always feel like it- grief can make it harder to see the big picture. But looking back, I can see evidence of His presence, grace, and help.
In the midst of grief and loss, the Lord answered some HUGE prayers with the birth and adoption of our daughter, Nora. She is such a joy and truly is one of the biggest blessings in our life! He perfectly orchestrated the timing of her birth and all of the details that came along with it. Even our court date being delayed ended up being a huge blessing because it allowed me to take a longer maternity leave. Does this replace what and who we have lost? No, but being rich in mercy, the Lord allowed me to experience the motherhood that I longed for and felt called to.
Friends, I’d like to leave you with a few things as I wrap this up. First, you may have heard this before, but our feelings can (and should) ride with us, but we cannot let them be the driver. In general, I wouldn’t describe myself as overly emotional, but in grief my feelings were so big. Sometimes it was hard to remember what was true when it seemed in direct opposition to how I felt. That being said, bringing all of my feelings and questions to God has only deepened my faith. I think sometimes as Christians, we think that asking questions shows a lack of faith. But I truly believe my faith is stronger because I have asked these tough questions. Have I found the answers I was looking for? Mostly, no. Even if I knew why I had to experience these losses, I don’t think it would make me feel better. There are some things (probably lots) that we are not meant to hold or understand. But despite all these questions, I still believe. Asking these did not weaken my faith, but ultimately led me back to a God who I still believe and trust in. Secondly, if you are in a season like this and reading the Bible is extremely difficult, give yourself grace and cling to the Lord any way you can. For me, I could pretty much only read the Psalms and the Gospels after Lucy passed away. Worship songs were also difficult to listen to, but the Lord led me to one album that brought me so much comfort so I listened to it constantly. Finally, ask God to do what he has promised, and ask Him for the faith to trust Him in it:
To be with you (Isaiah 41:10, Isaiah 43:2)
To go before you (Deuteronomy 31:8)
To give you peace (John 16:33)
To be your provider (Luke 12:28, 31)
To be your comforter (2 Corinthians 1:3, Psalm 147:3)
To be your shelter (Psalm 46:1)
To give you strength (Isaiah 40:29, 31)
To help you to trust Him (Mark 9:24)
He will keep these promises, because no matter what we are going through, He who has promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)
💛 Cassie Liouh
