Chautauqua County Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault

06/16/2026

06/16/2026

“Loving someone with combat-related PTSD is hard and feels so isolating. Friends and family don’t understand, most even misunderstand.”

One Military Spouse knew that feeling all too well. Then she found the Healing Haven for Military Spouses program.

Healing Haven is the New York State Department of Veterans’ Services FREE virtual monthly emotional support community for Military Spouses, led by national stress relief expert Brett Cotter, founder of Stress Is Gone.

Shared here with permission are excerpts from a powerful testimonial that a Military Spouse recently sent to Brett Cotter about Healing Haven’s tremendous impact.

“I anticipated my initial call to be mediocre, like any other "spouses' coffee" - superficial acquaintances, topics of discussion like where our husbands work, PCS experiences and tips, kid's activities, etc. Instead, you provided direct emergency physiological care I needed on the spot. Over the past few months, I have even developed friendships with other regular attendees who I can relate to. You not only provide a safe environment, teach us skills, provide tools, but you also bring us together.”

"You not only provide a safe environment, teach us skills, provide tools, but you also bring us together."

After nearly a decade of her husband trying treatment after treatment with nothing sticking, a small moment said it all. Her husband told her: “The VA is ok, but I really like talking with Brett.”

“I feel we had been completely forgotten — until Healing Haven."

"Words cannot express how pivotal that shift is for my Veteran husband who I feel had given up on himself, and for our family who has struggled for many years.”

Join our growing online community of Military Spouses and let the healing begin:

🗓️ First Monday of each month: Guided Stress Is Gone session, 7 p.m.
🗓️ Third Monday of each month: Peer-to-peer gathering, 7 p.m.

Sign up today 👉 https://tinyurl.com/HealingHaven

Because supporting Veterans also means supporting the spouses who stand beside them. 💜🇺🇸

06/16/2026

A lot of amazing women!!!! Congratulations!!!

06/16/2026

Men have stories too..

Waqas was born in Pakistan but immigrated to the U.S. where he met his now ex-wife. She used financial abuse and coercive control, as well as isolating him from family and friends, to abuse Waqas. As a Muslim man, he felt even more hesitant to reach out for help, afraid the stereotype that men in his religious community controlled women would prevent anyone from believing him. However, an advocate at the National Domestic Violence Hotline helped get Waqas the support he needed.

Gus Brock, a Navy veteran, lived in fear some 40 years ago of his now ex-wife who was verbally and physically abusive to him from the moment they met, mimicking the abuse he also lived through as a child. In his 60s now and free from abuse, this truck driver proudly shows off the purple ribbon tattoo on his arm, hoping others know he is an advocate and ally to survivors.
Ron Blake’s ex-partner was physically and emotionally abusive. One night, his ex-partner broke into his home with two other men and the three individuals s*xually assaulted Blake. After being diagnosed with PTSD, Blake decided to begin sharing his story of abuse and assault publicly in order to help others.

Christopher Anderson’s parents severely neglected him as a child, leading Anderson to a life of addiction, depression and thoughts of su***de as an adult before he got help. Now a speaker for the nonprofit MaleSurvivor.org, Anderson hopes to help other survivors of childhood trauma not let what happened in their past define their lives.

here's more...https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/ending-domestic-violence/a-guide-for-male-survivors-of-domestic-violence

MaleSurvivor supports men s*xually abused & assaulted as a child or adult. Free online resources, moderated discussion forum & chat with 14,000 members & 80,000 topics.

06/16/2026

Men Can Be Victims of Power and Control Dynamic, Too

Male survivors of abuse can identify domestic violence by the same hallmarks of abuse as other victims endure.

These can include:

Verbal and emotional abuse, which includes shouting, name-calling, degradation, jealousy, gaslighting or the silent treatment, leaving the survivor feeling ashamed, embarrassed, worthless or afraid.

Stalking

Physical abuse, such as hitting, shoving, slapping, throwing of objects at the survivor, use of weapons or threats of self-harm.
Threats toward children, pets and other family members.

Threats of taking away children.

Sexual coercion including unwanted s*xual advances or forced s*xual acts, or withholding s*x to control.

Isolation by forbidding the survivor from leaving the house or stealing the car keys; restricting a survivor from seeing friends or family; or coercing the survivor to quit school or not work.

Financial control—demanding money or credit cards, restricting how the survivor spends money, mismanaging money and lying about it, ruining a survivor’s credit.....

06/16/2026

Male survivors of domestic violence can feel a stigma to be the “strong male” who should be able to fight back against an abusive partner, especially when that partner is female. They may also be afraid to come forward because it means disclosing a same-s*x relationship that they’re not ready to be open about. Male victims may also face discrimination from police or domestic violence shelters that are skeptical of their accounts of abuse. There are not as many shelters that house male survivors as female, though more shelters are setting aside beds for men, and those that don't have the capacity to house them offer other services such as counseling, support groups and financial and lay legal assistance.........

06/16/2026

When a survivor chooses to speak, our only job is to listen.
​Too often, male survivors face a unique set of barriers: silence, stigma, and the pressure to "tough it out." When they finally find the courage to share their truth, they deserve a space that is safe, supportive, and entirely their own.
They don't need us to speak for them or to redirect their narrative to fit a system.
They need us to witness, to believe, and to respect their agency.

​To all the men who have found the strength to speak: We are listening. Your experience is valid, your healing is yours, and your voice deserves to be heard without interruption.

do you have a story that you'd like to share? you can message us here or send us a private message CHQ Silent Witnesses