09/26/2024
Thursday Silly Story Time:
The curse of the eviltron
(from taskandpurpose.com)
It’s not just enlisted troops who get into hijinks in the military. One Air Force officer who wanted to stay anonymous told Task & Purpose a story involving a small device called an eviltron or an annoyatron. It’s about the size of a quarter, and its sole purpose is to annoy the hell out of your chosen target. All the machine does is replay a sound of your choice every four minutes or so. The thing is, the battery lasts several months, so if you drop the eviltron in some hard-to-reach place like behind a desk or in some out-of-the-way drawer, then your target is stuck with it.
Our Air Force officer made good use of an eviltron while he was a squadron executive officer, or the unit’s second-in-command. He found an eviltron saying “hey can you hear me” and he dropped it behind the commander’s desk before departing on a temporary travel assignment. He left chaos in his wake.
“Two days into it the first sergeant texts me to say "the boss is tearing apart his office because his computer is talking to him,” our reader said. “By day three it’s even better because now the commander is ignoring it but everyone who comes into his office is confused when they hear ‘hey, can you hear me,’ and then the commander denies that he heard anything.”
“Nobody had a mental breakdown,” the officer went on, “but it was apparently epic that people are hearing this voice in the commander’s office and he denies it.”
The commander never found the eviltron, but our officer fished it out of the hiding spot when he got back. Unfortunately for his colleagues, it wasn’t the last time he used the infernal machine.
“I have had dozens of eviltrons over the years and they end up in all sorts of places,” he said. “We had a guy chasing a cricket in his office for two months with it.
Task & Purpose provides military news, culture, and analysis by and for the military and veterans community.