Fatherless Daughters

03/08/2023

Dear Fatherless Daughters,

Over the last three years, I have not been available for you. I own that, and I do apologize for my absence.
Any notifications I get these days are spam, or women putting themselves in degrading positions calling themselves "fatherless daughters."
Those of you who have been here from the beginning should know that you saved me. You kept me alive through the absolute worst time of my life and I will forever be grateful for that. Your love has extended beyond countries and our sisterhood will forever stay with me.
I've talked about sharing the page with some of the OG members, but the decision for me has become clear. Maybe there is someone else that can pick up this torch we all carry and run with it. For me, it's another loss. One more chapter for me to close.
Know that you - every single one of you has made an impact on my life - I would not be here today if it weren't for the love, support, and compassion you've shown to me over the last 14 years.
The page will be officially closed on March 10th. If you've connected with people I encourage you to keep those connections, they are so important to our survival.

I leave you with this photo that has moved me in such a way to change my life. I hope you continue to know that you are loved, beyond the stars.

XO, Stephanie

07/06/2022

“Grief - like love - lasts forever”

‎Society & Culture · 2022

06/19/2022

Don’t forget to breathe today. We can do this. ❤️

12/20/2021

Me: Hey God.

God: Hey John.

Me: Can you end my grief?

God: I could - but why?

Me: So I can stop being overwhelmed by my sadness.

God: There is something worse than grief.

Me: What's that?

God: Feeling nothing. Let grief come. Let it stay as long as it needs to. Let it go. Let it come back. It's all a process. It's all a slow boil.

Me: So my grief will never end?

God: Not as long as you love the one who is gone. But that doesn't mean that your grief won't take 1000 different forms. Sometimes your grief will look like clouds in the sky or tears on your pillow or memories in your mind. Grief is formless. It will come and go like the tide. Don't fight it. Don't race through it. Don't let other people tell you how to grieve. Your grief is your own. Honor your grief.

Me: How do I honor my grief?

God: Grab a pen and write down what I'm about to tell you.

*****

when somebody else tries
to tell you how you should grieve

smile and forgive them
through your watering eyes

and then imagine
how lonely it must be
to be the person who
audits the tears
of other people

the well-intended
will tell you how
long you should miss
your beloved

but

you take your time

grief is a hedge maze
and being lost inside of it

is more than okay

don't race through
your heartache

because you might
just miss a miracle
or two

in the teardrops rolling
down your face

don't grieve quickly
just to make somebody
else feel better

if you need to,
let your grief
become a coral reef

let the algae of your hurt
slowly form over the years
into the softest violet hue of heaven

it can take two lifetimes to recover

when our beloved becomes
an empty chair

it's okay

take as much time
as you need

your healing is your healing

and the scars of absence
will itch longer than you can imagine

but that is because you
risked to love so deeply

and that is far better than
the alternative

I am proud of you

and the courage it
takes for you to grieve
so fearlessly

don't listen to those
who want you to go back
to normal

normal will never exist again
for those of us who have
lost a part of our heart

if the moon broke in half
would it feel normal?

to hell with normal

normal was their scent on your collar
normal was their voice resting in your ear
normal was their touch on your skin

you have a new normal

it's looking at the shape of clouds
for messages from the great beyond
that your beloved is fine

you have a new normal

it's building a cabin in
the woods of your memory
where you and your beloved
can meet for lunch

you have a new normal

it's crying and laughing
at the same time
whenever their favorite
song plays on the radio

grief isn't the enemy
of life

numbness is

don't become numb to your suffering

welcome it in
and let it wrap you
up like a blanket

whenever it shows up
at your door

it's okay

I swear

it's okay

your beloved misses you just
as much as you miss them

and someday
you two will
get all tangled up
together again

someday
you two will
push each on a
swing again under
a shower of falling blooms

and someday
you two will ride
comets together
on the edge of everything

and someday
you two will giggle
at all of the people
who tried to tell you

how to grieve

~ john roedel (johnroedel.com)

08/16/2021

Every day

07/30/2021

This time of year the memories start to creep in.

06/17/2021

02/10/2021

Nothing about grief is exact. It's different for everyone. ❤

I didn’t feel any pang of telepathic pain when she finally let go. I had spent every night in the hospice center with her for a week straight, and of course, the one night I went home to sleep in my bed instead of her chair, she died. I learned about it through a voicemail from my dad. I hadn’t even woken up when the phone rang. Maybe our spiritual connection was just experiencing a delay?

And then, who knows what happened those next few days. There was a memorial service. There was a slide show. There was a luncheon. There were people. And so many of those people told me not to worry because I would always feel her with me.

But I didn’t.

Full post on the blog: https://whatsyourgrief.com/dont-feel-loved-ones-presence/

12/25/2020

Sending love. ❤️

11/25/2020

Thankful for you. ❤️

Happy Thanksgiving.

Stephanie

10/18/2020

Love yourself enough to be honest with yourself. You can do hard things.