Rainbow Duck Lady

09/01/2026

Read some books! Have some fun!

08/30/2026

So useful!

Dear Liz,

I have an important question. My adult child is nonbinary, and I’m never quite sure what to call them when I’m talking about them to other people.

“Son” or “daughter” obviously doesn’t fit, but sometimes “kid” feels a little odd when I’m talking about an adult. What are some good alternatives? Bonus points for some fun ones!

- Looking for the Right Word

__________________

Dear Looking,

This is such a good question, and the good news is there’s no single right answer.

Personally, I’m a big fan of simply describing where they fit in your family:

“My oldest.”
“My youngest.”
“My middle.”
“One of my middles.”
“My only.”

Those work beautifully at any age and don’t require gender at all.

And honestly, I think kid works too. So does child. I know plenty of parents with 30-, 40-, and 50-year-old “kids.”

They never stop being our kids just because they grow up.

But if you want to have a little fun with it, I’ve heard some creative alternatives:

“My offspring.”
“My progeny.”
“My spawn.” 😂
“My grown-up kid.”
“My adult child.”
“My pride and joy.” ❤️

You can also just use their name. Sometimes the easiest answer is, “This is Alex,” or “My Alex" or "I was talking to Alex the other day…”

But here’s the most important part: ask your kid what they like.

Some nonbinary people are perfectly happy with words like kid or child. Some may have another term they love. Others may prefer you simply use their name or describe them as your oldest, youngest, etc.

There doesn’t have to be one universally accepted gender-neutral replacement for son or daughter. There just needs to be a word that feels comfortable and affirming to your child.

And if your family lands on something delightfully weird that makes everybody laugh?

Even better.

Sending love & light,

Liz
she/her

__________________

The “Dear Liz” column is hosted by Real Mama Bears LLC, an organization dedicated to supporting, educating, and empowering families with LGBTQ+ members and the LGBTQ+ community.

Send your questions to Liz Dyer, Founder of Real Mama Bears at [email protected] or in a private message to the Mama Bears public page

Questions to “Dear Liz” that are answered will be published publicly. Please include the signature you wish to be used if your question is chosen.

08/28/2026

Notes taken!!

08/28/2026

Representation Matters.

08/28/2026

I have so many scarves to put on ducks, like a lot of them, but first, gotta take care of priorities!

08/27/2026

Walmart is so dangerous for me sometimes! Oh the temptation!!!

08/22/2026

Updating for clarity after some awesome friends reached out:
1. Ducks can be made with whatever leftover filament you have on hand, but please do at least 1/2 in one color and then switch. Since we are multifaceted, I’d like the ducks to reflect that. However, for safety in public spaces, I don’t want the ducks to match our flags.
2. I am not a 3-d printer and know nothing about this project. Please reach out to [email protected] for the file and any tips/tricks regarding this project. They been helping for a while and know everything about getting this done.
3. Thank you to those who are joining my flock of friends! I am so incredibly grateful for your help!

Any 3-d printer friends out there? I could use your help! I give away 3-d ducks in my packs of ducks and stuff as a reminder to let hate roll off like water off a duck’s back, and I’m completely out! I’ve given out just over 3000 packs this year, so that’s 12,000 of these little ducks. I have less than a month to get at least another 4,000! 🫪 Can you help restock them before my next assembly line on Sept 20th?

If so, here’s some info. These are a great way to use up scrap filament, but I do have filament that I can give you, if needed. These should be not be one color and should instead be striped in a mixture of colors to reflect how complex we are, and they also shouldn’t match any of our flags so that they can be anywhere without drawing any unnecessary attention.

If you can help, please reach out to the Madison Public Library’s MakerSpace at [email protected] for the file and any tips/tricks regarding this project.

How do I tackle such a big task? With the help of my flock of friends, I do this one duck at a time!